Today is the Day; Will I Be Joining the Nuthouse Permanently??

Today my self-imposed, one month extension was coming to an end and The Boss was right on top of it first thing this morning!  Had I come to a final decision?  Would I be staying on as a permanent employee (employed by the company and no longer collecting a paycheck from the temporary agency)?  He also is quick "talk up" the place and say that things here are on the upswing and are only getting better, bigger and more successful.  He also dangled that new offices were on the horizon - we would have our own building.  I haven't even sat at my wannabe desk yet and already my head is spinning!

I had put a great deal of thought into this decision during the holidays but now it is time to put up or shut up and the decision doesn't seem as easy as I originally thought (and I think I am starting to waver).  Let me let you in on my process ... I really thought I had decided to leave.  I felt a more structured, organized and well-managed place would be best for me at this point in my career.  I am sure that this "perfect" job exists out there and once I find it, I would know it's the one for me.

That being said, I think this crazy man has spiked my Kook-Aid.  I am listening to what he is saying/promising and I believe him (I know, right).  I really think he has great plans for this company and he seems to like me and appreciates my opinions.  Could I help this company grow and prosper?  Could I be getting in on the ground floor of something interesting and successful?  There isn't much structure or procedural bones set up here - maybe this place would be a good fit for me.

Although everyone here seems a bit nuts, who am I kidding,  I can be the same way at times.  I probably would fit right in with them in the long run.  I think I could have a lot of fun and laughs here.  The Boss seems generous (the compensation package we discussed for me to stay is more than generous and will allow for ample beach vacations). He also has indicated that I can do whatever I see fit to make the office aspect run better and more efficiently. He is open to new ideas!  Say what you want about this man, he my be nuts, but  he is clearly a damn good salesman - he is successfully selling me on the "Nuthouse"!!!

Well, I didn't listen to the little voice in my head when I first toured this facility, I guess I am going to ignore it now too!  Drum roll please .....I have accepted his offer and today ends my temporary position here.  Just call me Nutty Wone, the full-fledged nuthouse employee! 

Nothing Crazy Happened Today!

Today was a quiet day and it resembled a fairly normal office environment.  Everyone must be a bit worn out from the holiday and their “crazy” just isn’t coming to the surface like usual.  Here is a couple of things to keep you up to speed on the day- to- day.

1.  The Boss had lunch brought in for everyone to celebrate 2020.  As crazy has he may act sometimes, he seems to be genuinely nice and also generous with his employees.

2.  Wayne came back and still doesn't have any eyebrows (not that I thought they would be back yet).  He was able to remove the black, sooty haze from his eye glasses and The Boss has told him they need to discuss what occurred on the dock.

3.  Mike has informed me that he is "born again" and have I ever considered it (I told you he wanted me to join his "team").  I smiled and told him no, I was born right the first time!  (Now, I cannot take credit for this line - it is from a Dennis Miller stand up routine I saw one time and never forgot).  I cannot be sure, but I think I heard Rachel giggle when I said it.

4.  The Boss is still sporting the latest footwear of 2020 (the highly sought after, open toed sneaker) and he doesn't seem to be limping as much.  It must be exhausting to try and remember you are injured.

5.  The Boss mentioned that we might be moving to a new location very soon.....my only question will be how do the bathrooms look.  Holding out and visiting the facilities for the entire day is becoming annoying!

Have a great weekend and I'll be here on Monday (with my straight jacket)!

The Boss Is Back (and Injured)

The Boss returned from his trip "someplace near England" (but in all actuality, we know it was the Bahamas).   He looks rested and has a tan -  I didn't realize England was so sunny and warm this time of year!  He is not only sporting a darker skin tone, but I quickly notice a limp in his step upon arrival.  I quickly ask if he is okay and he ignores me and acts like he didn't hear question. 

I then notice something strange about his footwear choice for the day.  No, he not wearing winter boots. The foot choice of today is sneakers - one of which has the entire top portion cut off exposing his toes, back to the middle of his foot (just leaving the sole of the shoe).  Wrapped around his toes looks like an old washcloth that may have been located in his garage and used for oil changes.  It is dirty, definitely oily...just trust me, it's gross looking!  Now, just a bit about me - I don't like feet!  Feet, although they are necessary for balance and travel about this fine earth; should not been seen or exposed after the age of three!   Just put those nasty things away!  Moving on....

I laugh a bit to myself and ask once again if he was okay and what happened to his foot in England (lol).  I'm not quite sure what went on during this vacation, but I'm beginning to get concerned because the injury (along with the vacation location), is clearly considered top secret in his world.  This alone brings up so many questions to me!  He states "he just had a bit of an accident" and leaves it at that.

Although, he doesn't mention the injury, that does not mean it is not a major topic of the day!  He might not talk about it, but he is quite animated when walking around - as long as other people can see him or are near him.  If he is alone, or doesn't think anyone is looking, he is able to traverse any area like a mountain lion - smooth, stealthy and with no evidence of injury whatsoever. 

As the day continues, this injury/no injury becomes more and more obvious and quite entertaining for me to watch.  Also, as the day progresses, I honestly believe he "forgets" about the injury because he will be going along like a gazelle and then he must remember, "shit, I forgot my foot is supposed to be hurt" and the limp comes back even more pronounced.  I do see the other employees noticing the same strange actions that I am.  I wish we were friendlier (and knew each other better) because I sure would like to talk to them about it!

Final thought - I am beginning to think The Boss might like llama drama!

Final, final thought - Happy New Year to you and welcome to 2020!  I have a feeling that this year will be an interesting one if things continue to go in the same direction as 2019 ended.

Does Anyone Else Smell Burning Hair??

Today was one of the days that our newest warehouse employee, Wayne came in to see how the operation runs before coming in on a full time basis January 1.  The day started off like any other day - the office was freezing and took forever to come to a "life sustaining" temperature.  Adam was going out of his way to do next to nothing and  Alex was cleaning up the warehouse area.

Wayne arrives and says hello to everyone (he still seems a bit jumpy, but maybe it's just his way).  He spends some time speaking with Mike and I quickly realize they know each other.  Now, as I mentioned before, there is no need for eavesdropping due to my location and office size.  I hear their conversation and quickly realize where they know each other from.....CHURCH!  Wayne is "born again" like Mike!

After the rehash of the Christmas service at the church, Wayne goes into the warehouse for the day.  Now, I can only speak to what I have been told and the results - which I was able to see and actually SMELL myself.

It is my understanding that Adam was on the dock, heating up some materials in a 55 gallon barrel with a large fire throwing object that is fueled by propane.  I guess he was trying to burn something off...who knows, I wasn't there.  Adam said he walked away as the flame was continuing in the barrel and someone (Wayne) turned the flame off when he turned his back.  Wayne had extinguished the flame, but neglected to turn off the propane that continued spewing from the wand.  The wand that remained in the 55 gallon drum was filling it to the brim with gas!

Adam noticed the flame was out and asked Wayne to light it up again.  Here's where things went REALLY wrong.  Wayne did as he was asked and re-lit the wand, WHILE IT WAS STILL IN THE BARREL!  I have been told a fireball emitted from the barrel along with a substantial "popping" noise that we all heard in the office.

Wayne came running through the office on his was to the scary bathrooms and Alex told me what had happened.  When Wayne came back from the bathroom he was a site to see.  His shirt had a singe mark, his glasses still had a black, sooty haze on them and his eyebrows were GONE - which gave him a perpetually surprised expression to his face, but he was okay and was actually laughing about it.  The smell of burning hair filled every inch of that office!

It's easy to laugh about it now, because no one was hurt.  It could have been so much worse!  I wish the boss wasn't so close to England and in an area with an internet connection so I could inform him of the catastrophe that almost happened today.

A New Employee & A Geography Lesson

As you can imagine, the upcoming holiday has been a busy time.  Although business seems to be a little more quiet than in previous weeks; everyone assures me that this is completely normal and it will pick up again after the first of the year.  Slow is a good thing for me, it provides an opportunity to continue going through the "accounting files" and try to come up with a plan of attack for outstanding pile of A/R.

We have begun to expand a bit - a new employee has been hired for the warehouse in the preparation for increased business in the new year.  This is a great idea, but I'm just not sure if Wayne is the proper cog to fit in the wheel.  Wayne is very nice, but it seems he is a bit on the nervous side - almost like he takes a bit too much Ritalin.  Is it just me or does he seem to run everywhere he goes?  He is going to be coming in a couple of days a week to get a feel for the place before he starts full time January 2020.

Now for the geography lesson of the day -

We we told today that The Boss would be going on vacation for Christmas and would be returning after the first of the year.  Now, the truth be told, I knew he was going away because I overheard him on the phone talking about the Bahamas.  No, I wasn't eavesdropping - I can hear everyone and everything from where I sit!

That being said, I acted surprised and asked where he was going, etc.  His evasive explanation of the location began something like this.... well, he would be vacationing out of the country.  Again, I asked where he was going; after some hemming and hawing  (and a bit of stammering) he mentioned it was somewhere near ENGLAND and he would have would little to no internet connection.

Now, this conversation brings up three very important questions:

1.  If he didn't want anyone to know where he was going, why not just say so?
2.  Does this man know how the internet actually works?
3.  Have the Bahamas relocated to other side of the Atlantic Ocean without me having heard about it on CNN?

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

*as always names have been changed to protect the insane

A Decision Has Been Made - Let the Second-Guessing Begin

Well,  what "The Boss" offered me to stay I couldn't refuse; I think he really wants me to stay around as an employee of this place.  I did give myself a bit a wiggle room; I told him I would stay on for another month (under the direction of the temporary agency) and  within that time we could discuss a permanent position.

This gives me a couple more weeks to come to my senses....

Do I Want to Extend My Time??

My time here is passing very quickly and I am quite happy with the progress I have made.  I have gotten some good stories and done some impressive work (if I do say so myself).  I guess "The Boss" must be liking what I am doing too, because he has suggested that I stick around a bit longer (my original time here was only going to be one month).

I have a lot to consider.... I usually only stay in short term placements, and only came here to earn extra money for a trip to a warm, tropical location.  "The Boss" tells me that he is considering purchasing a building; one with a real heating system and a clean bathroom and he would love if I would stay on to help continue to work I have been doing.  He says he has big plans and has a great plan for the future.

This place is a nut house, and "The Boss" is as nutty as they come, but maybe I could really do some good work here.  I guess I will have to think about it - I told him I would let him know by the middle of next week.

What to do, what to do.....