Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Did You Survive December 25th?


Hello Nutties!  I know I said that I would probably check in during our extra-long holiday break and I am surprised as you that I am writing so soon.  Needless to say, the insanity knows not the date nor the fact that I am on vacation, so I will jump right in. 

Christmas day in the Northeast did not see "normal" December temperatures.  It was over 60 degrees and we had rain - a great deal of rain.  Remember how we had snow - a great deal of snow not so long ago? (click here for recap).  Well, that snow is now gone and has been replaced with standing water and mud.  

The above weather factoid brings me to my first instance of insanity that I have encountered since starting my holiday break.  On Christmas morning (yes, Christmas morning), I received an email (I guess I should thank my lucky stars that it wasn't a phone call) from The Boss.  He was writing to tell me we had received a great deal of rain and the pond on our property had overtaken its banks.  The following things were uttered by me (out loud) while I read this email.  Number one - no shit Sherlock, I heard it rain all night too.  Number two - why the hell were you at The Nuthouse on Christmas day?  Number Three - why the frick do I care that the pond has filled up and overtaken its banks.  Why, why, why does he feel the need to tell me everything?  I took a deep breath and responded to his email (it was Christmas and I was being nice) and said that I would be stopping by the office next week and I am sure the pond will have receded back to its normal banks by then.

I spoke to my parents via Facetime on Christmas and they are doing well and remain COVID free.  It was a fairly normal conversation and everyone was fully clothed (click here for recap) - it was a Christmas miracle! They too had warm weather and couldn't believe that our temperatures were so high for Christmas day.  We caught up with the news around their town - increasing COVID numbers, people who were having large gatherings for the holiday and my Mom's latest trip to the casino (news flash - she lost again).  It's nice to talk to them even about trivial things and I miss having them around for the holidays!

That brings us to my trip to The Nuthouse today.  When I arrived today, it was at the same time as the mailman.  Now, I haven't discussed it, but our mailman is not the most personable person in the world.  I thought maybe it was due to the holiday and being so busy, but I am beginning to think he is just a cantankerous bitch all the time.  As the mailman exited his vehicle, I said hello and asked what he was doing here.  He ignored my question, proceeded to huff at me and hand me a huge pile of mail.  I was confused, but thanked him for the mail and reminded him that we are closed until January 4th.  He looks at me and sarcastically says that it would have been nice to have been told this information because he has been coming here each day and no one is available to take the mail.  I reminded him that we discussed our closure on December 23 and December 24 when he delivered.  The angry look he gave me could have stopped a train - he then said that I never told him we were closing.  Clearly, I am surrounded by incompetence (I told him not once, but TWO DAYS IN A ROW).  Now remember, you never want to piss off a postal carrier - they don't call it going postal for nothing!  Instead, I just smiled and sweetly, but with a bit of sarcasm, said that he was right, I probably didn't tell him on Wednesday or Thursday when he delivered, but luckily now he is aware.  Then I wished him a Happy New Year and skipped up the walkway to the front door.  I swear, I think I heard him talking to himself as he was heading back to his mail truck.  I better make sure I am not around in case he comes back.

As I balanced the leaning tower of Pisa sized pile of mail I received, I checked out the pond.  It might be more accurate to say, I looked at it from the walkway considering it was so muddy with all of the rain.  From my vantage point it looked fine and had not overtaken the building or parking lot - so no worries there.  I entered the building and said my hello to our mascot and gave him some fish food.  I also turned off many of the lights that The Boss must have left on during his Christmas day visit.  I opened the door to the warehouse and turned off that light too.  At least The Boss learned his lesson about walking around the warehouse in the dark (click here for recap) - now, we just have to make sure he turns off the lights when he is finished.

Well, I'm going back to my vacation with my two furry boys.  As you can imagine, Cooper is loving having me home; Milo not as much!  Hopefully our next interaction will be on January 4th.  Happy New Year everyone!  

Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Happy Festivus Nutties!


Some people consider this day Christmas Eve eve, not me... it's Festivus baby!  Bring out your unadorned aluminum pole and be prepared to hear my grievances!  Seriously, I will not be boring you with my grievances this year - 2020 has created so many of them, we might be here until 2021 to cover them all.  We all have things to do...

As you know, although The Boss cannot hire a snow plow driver to save his life and he thinks it is fine to have staff sit around all day with wet work clothes (click here for recap), his decision to close tomorrow and after lunch and re-open on  January 4th remains in effect.  Needless to say, with today being our last full day of work, some of us began celebrating a bit early.  A bunch of us brought in snacks and lunch and the entire Nuthouse has been eating since 9 AM.  FYI - I am going to need my holiday stretchy pants when I get home and they might not come off until January 3rd.

I know you will miss stories from The Nuthouse, but don't worry, I might be stopping by to say hello during my holiday sabbatical.  I'm sure conversations with my family on Friday will constitute at least one blog post.  I have also told The Boss that I will stop in a couple of times during the break to check on The Nuthouse.  Really, I am just coming in to check on and feed our mascot Frack (click here for recap) and (click here for recap).  He continues to thrive in the insanity that is The Nuthouse and I wouldn't want anything to happen to him during a long break (RIP Frick).

I just wanted to take the opportunity to say Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Kwanza, etc. to everyone who has stuck by this blog this past year.  Let's be honest, 2020 has been a dumpster fire for so many and I really don't think anyone will be sorry to see it go.  My hope is for health and happiness in 2021 for everyone and their families.  We really do deserve a good year after the one we just went through.  Enjoy your holiday - I know I will...see you soon!

Saturday, December 19, 2020

With "Friends" Like That....


I apologize for the lack of a post yesterday, but I was sooo pissed off, I am afraid to imagine what I would have written! Let's jump in the "way back" machine and review what occurred yesterday that still has me fuming (and shivering).

As you may remember from my last post (click here for recap), the east coast was hit with quite a large snowstorm - the first big one of the season and my gosh it was big.  When all was said and done, my home had over 35 inches of the white stuff.  The Boss' friend had not shown up to plow the parking lot, so he phoned everyone and declared a snow day!  Needless to say, the warm and fuzzy feelings he generated with that kind gesture quickly disappeared when we all appeared for work yesterday.

Now, as you remember, the dirt road we drive down to gain access to our office is the worst road (if you can call it that) in America.  That being said, it is a town road, so it is the responsibility of the town to keep it plowed and clear.  Strangely enough, once the 30+ inches of snow is packed down in the huge ruts and potholes, the road rides pretty smoothly.  Sorry, I'm getting off topic - back to my story.

When we arrived yesterday morning, the main road leading to our offices had been plowed (thank you to the town).  As I drove down the road, I began to notice familiar looking cars parked out on the main, dirt road.  These cars were those of my co-workers.  As I got closer, I noticed The Boss' car stuck on a snowbank leading into our parking lot. It looked buried and covered in snow.  Then I noticed the real shit show!  Our parking lot was still not plowed!  The Boss' car was still there from the day before when he got stuck trying to get in (then he phoned everyone and declared a snow day).  My Fucking God, our lot still hasn't been plowed! Considering the town road had been plowed, the snow bank to gain access to our lot was well over five feet tall and was more ice than snow!

As I pull up, I see my co-workers attempting to traverse the enormous snow (ice) bank leading to our lot.  They looked like a National Geographic show about goats walking up those huge mountains.  As I was parking, I saw Rachael slip and slide a bit down the "mountain"...that was going to hurt later.  I got out of the car and asked what the hell was going on.  The Boss quickly chimes in and says, " my friend will be here soon to plow us out, in the meantime, let's just get to the office and start the day."

Is this man more insane than I have ordinally thought?  He wants his employees to climb up a five foot high pile of ice and then trek through 30+ inches of snow (which was light in nature and had blown into some drifts much, much taller than me), to get to the office and "start the day."  No one seemed to be saying anything, but I'm sure we were all thinking the same thing - maybe if we kill him and throw him in a snow bank no one will find him until spring!  I know I wouldn't tell!

Well, I began my trek, up the mountainside and back down.  It wasn't sooo bad because most of the snow very firm and ice-like.  Once I got to the other side of the mountain, things dramatically changed.  As I had mentioned, the snowfall was originally light and fluffy, so it also had blown around quite a bit creating large drifts.  Since the snow had been sitting on the parking lot since it fell, it had started to "settle" and get heavier and wetter.  So, picture this, now we have to trek across a large parking lot, in wet snow, well up to our thighs (maybe higher in some spots).  This is total bullshit!

Once we all make it to the walkway leading to front door, I notice that it hasn't even been shoveled!  What the fuck was The Boss doing while he was here yesterday?  It never ever occurred to him to shovel the walkway to the front door.  Nope, we get to the front door and the snow has blown 3/4 of the way up the door.  This day just keeps getting better and better. I'm telling you, killing him keeps looking better and better too!

We finally are able to get into the office; we are tired, cold, our noses are running and we are fricken wet from ass to toes!  Does this fricken rocket scientist expect us to sit here in wet clothes all day?  Yup, he said he would "turn up the heat a bit" to dry everyone out.  Needless to say, the majority of us shivered the entire day!  The heat never really felt warm enough and we were all miserable.  The best part of this story - The Boss had to go out during the day and he made sure to stop at home and pick up some dry clothes for himself.  When he got back from his trip out, he brings a bag into the bathroom and emerges with different (dry) clothes and actually has the audacity to say, "wow, that's better".  I really thought he might die in that moment and I don't think anyone would have cared.

Fast forward to the end of the day - yes, everyone is still cold and wet and guess what?  His "friend" finally shows up - at 4:30 PM!  The asshole didn't even have the ice mountain at the end of the parking lot plowed out by the time we left, so everyone got the honor of getting wet and cold again in an effort to get the fuck out of dodge.  I have to say, I think The Boss is lucky yesterday was a Friday and we all have the weekend off to calm down.  I have never seen so many angry people before in one place; even Mike (the god loving man), was fit to be tied and I actually heard some swear words come out of his mouth (there may be hope for him yet).

Well, it is Saturday morning and I am still cold, but I am able to feel my toes again (I guess that is a plus).  Enjoy you weekend Nutties!

Thursday, December 17, 2020

Well...Hello, Snow!

Good day Nutties and for those of you on in the eastern part of the United States, welcome to Snowmageddon!  It took a while for the snow to start where I am, so much so, that I thought that maybe - just maybe, they had predicted incorrectly.  By the time I went to be last night, a few light flurries had started to come down, but it still didn't look like it was going to amount to anything substantial.

Fast forward to my alarm going off this morning.  There is a frickin shitload of snow out there and it continues to fall!  When I woke up, I found Milo sitting on his cat condo watching the snow fall and blow around outside.  He is an inside cat and I'm sure he is quite pleased of that fact this morning. It is not safe for beast or beauty out there!  There is so much snow out there, that I think I may be higher than poor Milo.  Now, Cooper is another story entirely, once that crazy dog realized it was/had snowed outside, you would have thought his bladder was about to EXPLODE!  He was so preoccupied with going outside, he didn't even want his morning treats.  This boy LOVES the snow!

I bundled up in my ski clothes and brought Cooper out (I couldn't take the whining any longer); he was soooo happy and was so adorable jumping around in all the snow.  I watched him for a good fifteen minutes as he raced around, jumping, rolling and attempting to catch snowflakes in his mouth.  Clearly, I have a dog that is a BIG fan of the white stuff.  Me, not so much, but I do have to admit watching him have so much fun was a great way to start the morning.

My morning continued to improve.  As I was trying to stay warm while Cooper played, my cell phone rang and I was curious to see that it was The Boss.  When I picked up, he first apologized for phoning so early, but he wanted to catch me before I started getting ready for work.  He reported that the snow plow guy had not shown up yet and his car was already stuck in his attempt to turn into our parking lot.  I questioned where the snow plow (his friend...remember) could be and he ignored my question (click here for recap).  He said he will keep me posted on the status of the plow guy (why?), but in the meantime, I should stay home and enjoy the day.  

I cannot say the change in plans broke my heart; especially considering that I was thinking of calling in today.  I'm not sure if I am going to have much of a relaxing day now that Cooper knows there is snow outside, but any day with Cooper (and Milo) is better than a day in The Nuthouse!  I guess the question will be when will The Boss' friend show up to plow us (and him) out?  I don't want to say I told you so, but I told you this was going to be a disaster if we had any sort of significate snow accumulations.

Enjoy the day if you are staying home and stay off the roads if you can! 

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

The Countdown Is On!


Don't worry Nutties, I haven't gone to the dark side.  As much as everyone is trying, I still am not looking forward to Christmas this year.  What I am looking forward to is our Holiday break from The Nuthouse.  As you may remember, The Boss has decided to close between Christmas and New Year's this year (click here for recap).  I honestly cannot remember looking so forward to something for quite some time.  I am counting down the days like a kid waiting for Santa!  As my picture above states, I don't think singing Christmas songs will get me sent home early, but maybe some death metal tunes would do the trick.  I am willing to try anything to start this holiday break early! Can it just be December 24th already!!!

The Nuthouse was pretty quiet today, mostly due to the fact that The Boss was gone the majority of the day.  Yesterday, he was talking about how he hadn't started his Christmas shopping yet and and he didn't even have any ideas of what to buy.  I suggested that he start his shopping during the week (rather than the weekend) and maybe the stores would be less crowded.  Now, I know the stores are going to be just as crowded today as this weekend - it is nine days until Christmas for Christ sake!  I just thought maybe I could convince him to spend some time away from the office.  I am proud that my suggestion worked and so are my coworkers!

Mike and Wayne spent a great deal of time today discussing the upcoming Christmas Eve service at their church.  From what I could gather from their conversations, there is going to be a thing with the kids and the whole service will be held by candlelight.  Sounds like it will be pretty, candlelight and all, but as a kid, the last place I would want to be on Christmas Eve is performing in some church pageant.  Oh well, you know what they say, different strokes for different folks.

Drew and his family are going to cut down their Christmas tree this weekend.  I guess they travel up north each year to find the perfect specimen, cut it down, strap it to the truck and bring it home.  Very Griswold like, if I do say so myself.  We never had a real tree growing up - my Mom always liked putting up the tree around the first of December and real tree would never have made it until Christmas if it went up that early.  My parents still have a fake tree to this day and it seems that she puts it up earlier and earlier each year.  This year she bought a new model and was so pleased with it she had to phone me at the "ass crack of dawn" to tell me all about it.  As always, she is looking forward to the holiday and she cannot fathom that I am not doing the same.

Tonight, I have BIG plans!  I am grabbing a pizza on my way home and catching up on some Netflix.  The Northeast is expecting a heck of a snow storm (maybe 2-3 feet) and I have a feeling that I may be snowed in and unable to make it to work tomorrow (wink, wink).  We will see how things work out.  Although you cannot see me as I type this, I am crossing my fingers for snow and lots of it!  

Until tomorrow Nutties (or the day after if I am lucky).  Stay safe and off the roads if we do get the storm they are anticipating.  You know how people forget how to drive during the first big snow storm!

Monday, December 14, 2020

The Boss Thought He Lost His Wallet


Welcome to Monday at The Nuthouse!  When I arrived this morning, I had high hopes that today would be calm and quiet.  I had some year-end stuff that I had hoped to get finished today and the "llama drama" that The Boss adds to the mix does nothing to aid in productivity!

The morning started out like any other, coffee was made and The Boss looked over the work orders for the day.  Since he has decided to close The Nuthouse between Christmas and New Year (yippee), he has been "organizing" the order in which the work orders should be filled.  We all know from past blog posts, that the warehouse staff just LOVES when he does this (insert sarcasm here).  For the most part, it was pretty much business as usual until The Boss came back from his trek to the Post Office.

Once The Boss returned from the Post Office, The Nuthouse turned into Bizzarro World and remained that way the rest of the day.  Allow me to explain... when The Boss returned from his trek, he had a great deal of mail (as is normal on Monday), along with some boxes.  His hands were quite full when he returned and he seemed a bit more disorganized than normal (I know..that is saying something!).

About a half hour after his return, he started walking around the office, in and out of the kitchen and in and outside.  After his third trip, I asked if he was okay and what was going on.  He reported that he lost his wallet and was trying to re-trace his steps.  (Now, considering how this man walks around like a hamster on meth, retracing his steps is quite a process).  He said he was sure he had it while he was at the Post Office, but now he cannot find it.  I asked if he had checked in his car and/or under the driver seat.  He looked at me like I had just given him the cure for cancer - he hadn't thought to look in the car (see..hamster on meth).  He runs (literally, runs) outside and comes back in a few moments, out of breath and reports that it wasn't there.

Now, he continues traveling around the office and outside like a rabid dog and each time he passes my desk he looks crazier.  Each trip he is a bit redder in the face and his hair has now taken on a mad scientist vibe.  After what seemed like two dozen trips, he finally sits down at his desk in a very vocal way - he expels a large breath out, gives a high-pitched sigh and puts his mad scientist hair covered head in his hands.

Next, I hear him on the phone with who I can only assume is his wife.  I hear him say that he did "look all over for it" and "no, it wasn't left at the Post Office"  he then said that he will have to phone the credit card companies, but he doesn't even know what cards he has or the numbers.  On a side note, this woman must be a saint for putting up with this insanity for all of these years.  He ends the phone call with his wife and makes a trip the restroom.

At the same time, I go into his office and put some checks on his chair that I need signatures for.  As I am walking past his desk on my way back out the door, what do I see sitting plain as day on the corner of his desk?  Yup, his wallet.  As he leaves the restroom and comes past my desk, I tell him while putting checks on his chair for signature, I noticed his wallet on the corner of his desk.

The man is the textbook definition of crazy!

Monday, December 7, 2020

I Don't Think The Boss Believes In Dry Cleaners


I like to pride myself on being bit of an observer.  Annoyingly, I have a tendency to notice some things that others might not.  That being said, I realized today that I had missed something that has been staring me straight in the face ever since I arrived at The Nuthouse.  That is not like me!!

As I have mentioned before, as a rule, we do not have many face-to-face interactions with the public.  Our offices do not have customers that "drop in" and our only visitors are usually delivery and freight drivers.  Honestly, who in their right mind would come down that shitty road by accident (click here for recap).  Since we do not have interactions with the public, we are allowed to have a more relaxed work attire than most offices.  The Boss does not wear a suit or jacket and tie.  For the most part we are a jeans and button down shirt type of office.  

Now, from time to time, The Boss will have a meeting in The Nuthouse - hell, we had to build a conference room for all his meetings - insert sarcasm (click here for recap).  When he does have a meeting, he will walk to the coat rack that is stationed in the corner of the room and remove this navy blue sport coat and put it on.  I never thought too much about this coat rack, jacket or the fact that it has been hanging on the fore mentioned coat rack since I started at The Nuthouse.

As I scanned the room today (for no other reason than I was focusing away from my computer screen), I saw this jacket hanging there and realized that I have never not seen that jacket there.  My curiosity was piqued.  I walked over to it and I was shocked to notice how....dirty, even grimey it looked.  The more I thought and looked at it, it almost looked like it could stand there on it's own.  Had this fricken' jacket ever even visited a dry cleaners?  How could I not have noticed this before?

I became obsessed with this jacket and the more I thought about it, the more I realized, it really has never been dry cleaned!  I was so disappointed in myself and my lack of noticing this before, that I asked Rachael about it.  She too had never noticed, but once I brought it to her attention, she had the same reaction as I did.  She couldn't believe she had missed it all this time.

As we close out 2020, I will let you know if, maybe it gets to visit the cleaners once a year (all year it waits for December 31 to get cleaned).  I'll keep you updated!  Until next time Nutties.

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

It Is A Happy, Happy Wednesday!


Happy Wednesday Nutties; welcome to another day at The Nuthouse!  We are halfway through the week and I can see the finish line...it's right there!

The Boss gathered us together for a meeting in the conference room this morning.  When we entered the room, the conference table contained bagels and cream cheese - YUM!  Breakfast waiting for us when we arrive on a Wednesday is a not a bad way to start the day.  Little did we know, that the day was going to get infinitely better.  He started out by saying that he appreciated everyone's hard work and continued dedication and he was wondering how we should celebrate the holiday this year.  He then said the best sentence that a boss could ever say....The Nuthouse will be closed between Christmas in New Years Day!

We all looked at one another and thought that we had heard him wrong.  Did he just say that they office will be closed from December 25 - January 1?  He then elaborated - the office will close on December 24th at 12 noon.  We will come in that day and make sure we are ready for 2021 and lunch will be delivered.  Once we are done with lunch, we are free... free until 2021!  The office will then re-open the morning of January 4th.  Then the news got even better... these days will be paid days off and no vacation time will need to be used.

Now, I am guilty of talking a bunch of shit on The Boss.  I do not apologize for that - he is annoying as hell, but he is also the most generous boss I have every worked for.  He does go out of his way to do extremely nice things for his employees.  Needless to say, we were quite a happy bunch today!  Maybe my Grinch heart is melting a bit more.

Happy Hump Day Nutties!