What started out as a temporary job has evolved into one of the funniest, strangest and weirdest places I could have ever imagined. It keeps me shaking my head, rolling my eyes and sometimes laughing out loud! It has also become great fodder for after work drink discussions!
Wednesday, September 30, 2020
Around Here, Even a Good Idea Bites You In The Arse!
Tuesday, September 29, 2020
So Many Smells, So Little Time..
I guess you could say that today was a very fragrant day at The Nuthouse! When I arrived this morning, I proceeded through the door and was face to face with quite a pungent odor. My first thought was that someone had left their trash from lunch in the kitchen garbage and it was stinking up the place. I investigated and the kitchen garbage can was clean and empty. I continued my search, but was unable to find the source of the smell.
Needless to say, I wasn't the only person who was bothered by the smell. As each subsequent employee arrived, the first thing out of their mouth was, "what the hell is that smell". They too put on their detective hats in an attempt to find the source of the stench. They too were unsuccessful! Once The Boss arrived, the drama surrounding the smell was ratcheted up substantially. He wanted to know what the smell was. Where was it coming from? Did anyone else smell it? Did we all check our garbage? He was running around like a madman, bitching and looking for the origin of the smell By 11 AM, I told Drew that if I heard The Boss utter the word "smell" one more time, I was going to go postal. I reminded him that this place insane and no court in the land would convict me!
Drew and Mike came to the conclusion that something must have gotten in the building, or maybe trapped inside the walls and perished. That is what we are smelling - the stench of death! It is a plausible hypothesis since it is getting colder here and all of the wildlife milling about might be looking for a warmer home for the winter. Great, this place is not only slowing killing me, but now has set its sights on innocent wildlife. When will the insanity end?
Lunch time finally arrived and I couldn't wait to get out of our smelly, insane, death asylum. I decided the best thing for me to would be to stop at the mall and pick up a scented candle. I stopped at the local Yankee Candle and reviewed my choices. I didn't want anything that resembled a food smell - food and dead animal...not at all pleasing. I also considered the abundance of fall scented choices available - no...pumpkin spice scented dead animal also did not sound appealing. If finally decided on something much more generic called, Clean Cotton.
When I arrived back in the office, I showed my co-workers my purchase and I immediately became the Nuthouse hero! Since we all are stationed in the same area, they too would benefit from my fragrant afternoon purchase. We quickly found a central location for it and lit that bitch up. After about one hour, the room smelled like clean cotton with a hint of dead animal. Not perfect, but much better than it had been earlier in the day.
Of course, The Boss had something to say about the purchase. He didn't really like the smell (I guess dead woodchuck is better). He thought an open flame in the office was dangerous (it wasn't a bonfire, Dude, just a candle). As the day went on, his tune changed a bit. He asked where I got the candle and wondered if he should pick one up for his office. My god, this man drives me NUTS.
On a side note, the picture I attached to this positing was not available at my local Yankee Candle establishment (yes, I asked). If anyone has an idea of where I could find one, please let me know - I have the perfect spot picked out for it.
Monday, September 28, 2020
Maybe If We All Followed This Meme!
This right here is pure gold...gold I say! If more people subscribed to this simple statement, the world might not be in the shape it is currently in. I defy anyone to argue otherwise!
Monday's in The Nuthouse can be... nutty to say the least. After the confrontation The Boss had with the neighbor across the pond last week (click here for recap), he is even more obsessed with what is going on over there (I know - I didn't think it was possible either)! He must go outside two dozen times a day to watch what is going on over there. I swear to god, he is driving everyone crazy! I suggested we put a picnic table out there so he can have his coffee, watch is latest nemesis and stay out of our hair. He could also keep an eye out for visits from John since he is concerned about that now too.
My weekend was way too fast; I woke up this morning and for the life of me I couldn't even remember being off for two days. I spoke to my parents via FaceTime (click here for our Facetime struggles) and I must admit, it wasn't the most horrible thing of the weekend. My Mom seems to be getting the process down much better than before. I no longer need to take a Dramamine prior to our conversation, as she now puts the IPad on a flat surface and doesn't touch it (thank god). They are both doing well and continue to stay healthy (although I didn't speak with my Dad). I did have to hear how my Mom is sure my Dad is "losing it" because he doesn't remember things, but then she tells me she forgot to take the sheets off the bed for laundry day. When I questioned her about her forgetfulness, she said that I was being ridiculous. Oh, getting old is not for the faint at heart and neither is being the child of two people getting older.
I started a new workout routine this weekend and although I am enjoying it - my body was screaming at me Sunday morning when I attempted to get out of bed. I guess that is a good thing! I hope to keep it up because as I have mentioned before our quarantine time was not kind to my waist line.
Hope your Monday wasn't too awful Nutties; don't worry, they say it gets easier from here. I'm not sure who "they" are, but I am hoping they are right. Until next time!
Tuesday, September 22, 2020
We Paid Dearly For Yesterday's Normalcy!
Thursday, September 17, 2020
The Boss Is NOT a Good Neighbor!
Just when I thought The Boss can't get any worse, he really steps up and surprises me yet again! Let me give you a bit of background info. When we moved to the Hobbes Street property, The Boss told us that we were located in a "protected" area of our county. At the time (and right now too), I'm not really sure what that means, but today I discovered "protected" means that if he doesn't appreciate what the neighbor across our small pond is doing, you have the right to call the police and report them.
We have a neighbor across the pond (yes, it's an actual pond - I'm not referring to England) that has some sort of business. I don't know what they do, and I actually don't really care - and it's not pertinent to the story. Well, this neighbor has started some sort of expansion project. It is difficult to see exactly what is going on because all the leaves are on the trees, but we can hear them working. Over the past couple of weeks, The Boss has become strangely preoccupied with the work going on over there. He has "stopped in" twice and has said he drives there over the weekend (when they are closed) to check out what is going on. Maybe we should start referring to The Boss as "John" because he is a bit stalker-ish!
We knew it was bound to happen at some point; today The Boss came in with a total fire in his pants about the neighbor and his expansion. He complained three times before lunch that he couldn't concentrate or get any work done because of "all the noise" (sure, that is why he cannot get any work done). He then proceeded to go outside numerous times, standing on the edge of the pond trying to determine what was going on with the neighbor. As I mentioned he couldn't see much because of the full foliage on the trees. By 3 PM, I guess he couldn't take it anymore! He started roaming around the office and warehouse bitching about the noise and the fact that the land is "protected." His constant bitching worked himself into such a tizzy that he ended up phoning the police. Yup, he actually phoned the police because the neighbor was working outside! I heard him on the phone (I did not hear what the police said) stating on more than one occasion that they should come and investigate because the land is "protected." Lord help us, now the police department knows we are The Nuthouse.
Around 4:30 PM in drives a police cruiser. An officer walks into the office and requests to speak with The Boss. The Boss comes running out of his office like a kid on Christmas morning. He leads the officer outside to the pond edge and I see a lot of finger pointing being done by The Boss. The Boss returns to the office alone and he seems quite pleased with himself. Drew asked him what was going on and The Boss proudly reported that the officer was going over to the neighbors to have a talk with him.
As if it wasn't enough that have weirdo John to worry about (yes, The Boss is still worried about him), but now The Boss has pissed off the neighbor. We are gaining quite a reputation around here! Good times....good times!
Tuesday, September 15, 2020
It Looks Like The Nuthouse Is Down a Nut
Monday, September 14, 2020
Drew Had An Interesting Encounter...
Friday, September 11, 2020
How Fitting...A Shitty End To a Shitty Week!
Wednesday, September 9, 2020
Why Do Short Weeks Always Seem Like the Longest Weeks?
Monday, September 7, 2020
Sorry I'm Late - My Weeks End Was Hell!
Wednesday, September 2, 2020
It's Wednesday and It's Wonderful!