Saturday, October 31, 2020
Wednesday, October 28, 2020
Monday, October 26, 2020
Friday, October 23, 2020
Tuesday, October 20, 2020
Friday, October 16, 2020
- Did you realize that the Bahamas is "right near England"? I didn't either, until I became employed in The Nuthouse. Thank goodness I came here when I did, my lack of proper geography could have been quite embarrassing if it had been discovered (click here for recap).
- Do you know how long you should warm your car prior to driving it in the winter? According to The Boss it is much longer than you may think. It's like I learn something new each day! (click here for recap)?
- Be careful - there are entities monitoring your emails. They want to know what you say and what you purchase from Amazon...beware! (click here for recap)
- Forklifts can be dangerous when they fall into the wrong hands or hands that don't know how to run them. (click here for recap)
- Something else learned while employed at The Nuthouse - heat + plastic do not mix. Another tip I am sooo happy I learned; it has saved me countless amounts of money and time. (click here for recap)
- We learned that bees can be dangerous creatures and they also have a tendency to be annoyed by The Boss. Sorry Fed Ex guy! (click here for recap)
- Did you know that thermostats and ditches can be treacherous? You learned it here first! (click here for recap and here for recap)
Tuesday, October 13, 2020
Friday, October 9, 2020
Wednesday, October 7, 2020
- Mike took yesterday off and seemed much better when he came back today. You will be happy to know, The Boss' anxiety level is at a much lower level compared to Monday (click here for recap). It is my understanding that Mike switched medications and these new meds are working better at handing whatever was making him so miserable. I'm glad Mike is feeling better, but I have to admit, it was awesome how annoyed The Boss was getting every time he heard a peep coming from Mike's direction.
- The Boss commented that he believes he is responsible for Mike feeling better because he told him he might want to consider changing medications. Yup, rest assured, Mike never would have guessed that his old medication wasn't working without the notification from The Boss. Lord, help me, he is insane!
- The Boss has continued to wear a mask whenever dealing or speaking with Mike. I guess he is concerned that Mike's allergies might be communicable. This man should just dress in a hazmat suit and call it a day!
- We had a couple of candidates come in for our technical representative/draftsperson opening, none of which The Boss seemed too impressed with. It is my belief that The Boss feels foolish for originally choosing John and is so concerned about making a poor choice again, that it will result in him not picking anyone. God help us if he hires another weirdo that prints out porn during his work hours (click here for recap). What are the chances that he finds and hires someone like John again? I know, we are talking about The Boss here...
- It was raining so hard today that it was difficult to even see across the parking lot. I think it is finally occurring to The Boss that the inability to access the warehouse directly from the inside of our building is becoming a bit problematic. Remember, he famously had a conference room built which used the entry door to the warehouse with no exit from the new room (click here for recap). I heard The Boss call the warehouse twice today via phone rather than making his actual "in person" visit. I also heard him tell someone on the phone, "I cannot go to the warehouse right now, it is raining too hard and I am still soaked from my last trip". I guess he doesn't appreciate having to don a slicker and umbrella to gain access to another portion of the building. Poor baby - maybe think things through a bit more next time you fricken' ass!
- That being said, work has continued to stay steady and even picked up a bit in the last week or so. The company continues to grow and prosper in spite of the captain leading the ship. Just think what we could accomplish without a Nut in charge!
Monday, October 5, 2020
Friday, October 2, 2020
As you know, it's been a rip-roaring, strong smelling week here at The Nuthouse. I am happy to report the stench of death has diminished a bit as the week progressed. The Boss must be getting tired of lighting and extinguishing all of the those votives each day (click here for recap), because I heard him mention yesterday to Adam that he will be coming in over the weekend to "air the building out".
On a positive note, I also heard that The Boss is not going to be in the office today. This benefits us two-fold; one, he is not here (bonus) and two, he will not be holding a church service in his office with all those votive candles. Today, our office will not smell of rotten death and apple pie! Let us all rejoice!
We all were going about our day and enjoying the solitude of a Bossless Nuthouse when the unthinkable happened - the front door opened and he strolled through it. To say that we were immediately shocked would be an understatement - not at his appearing at The Nuthouse, but rather, his actual appearance. It pains me to even convey it to you because it helps the picture in my head (which I cannot erase) to become even clearer...people, I can not un-see the frightful spectacle I am about to communicate.
The Boss walked into the office in workout gear. Now, not workout gear like you and I would wear. No, he came through the door looking like an older, plumper and bumpier version of Lance Armstrong. Yup, it looks like he has taken up biking and his first purchase was a bright white, spandex ensemble, possibly a size too small; leaving nothing to the imagination, I might add. To complete the look, he also donned a bike helmet - yes, he actually wore his bike helmet into the office. The helmet was one of those aerodynamic jobbies that reminded me of a weird bird head. I immediately wonder, did he put the helmet on when he exited his car or did he wear it while he was driving to The Nuthouse. Now, I thought when I passed drivers on the highway wearing their masks it was weird; if I saw this nut job with a biking helmet on when driving, I would have crashed my car!
To say the staff in the front office was shocked at his gear would not be a strong enough sentiment. Most of the employees just stared like they were going by a grotesque accident on the highway. No one said a word, they just watched him flit around in his getup and make a phone call from his office. He then came out into the main room, wished everyone a good weekend and was on his way. After we watched him drive away, we all looked at each other in utter disbelief - did that really happen? No one said anything for a few minutes and then Drew said, "I didn't know The Boss was Jewish". Everyone paused a moment and Rachael started cracking up. We all joined in and busted Drews' ass the rest of the because he even looked there.
My plans for the weekend, you ask? Just a scrub brush directly to my brain in an attempt to erase this entire day from my memory bank. Shalom to you all!