Friday, May 29, 2020

I Am Happy To Report, Today Is Friday!

For those of you not keeping track - today is Friday!  It has been a long week, even though we only worked four days.  Doesn't it always seem to be that way, you have a Monday off and the subsequent week seems like it is at least eight days long.

For those wondering, I am healing up nicely from Squirrel-Gate and I even took Cooper for a walk last night.  It was a short one, but a walk none the less.  Yes, I made sure I wore "real" shoes this time - no more flip flops when we go on our jaunts. The lower part of my face and knees are turning a strange shade of yellow/green, so I think I should be back to normal soon enough.

Work has been busy, which has been great.  It's nice to see business improving after all that has gone on.  We all appreciate how lucky we are!  Speaking of luck, The Boss has been preoccupied with some things outside of the office, so he hasn't really been around that much. It's a good thing that he hasn't been around because those geese have been crazy and their numbers seem to increase every day.  I think the geese that normally live on Hobbes Street are been tired of social distancing and said, "screw it, let's have a party - every day!"  They just jump over and around the strings that The Boss and the warehouse guys strung up in the hopes to keep them in the pond.  Some geese are even so brazen, I have seen them pulling up the small stakes that were put in the ground to wrap the strings around (these must be the geese that cannot handle their garlic).  These geese are clearly bad asses!  Maybe The Boss should think twice before he continues to wage war against them.

If you remember, Drew, Rachel and myself are all in one large area of the office.  Don't worry, everyone is still getting along, but I don't think Rachel is as flirty with Drew as she once was.  I think the mystic around Drew has been lifted.  Maybe it is the fact that he spits tobacco constantly into a paper cup?  I think that would turn off most normal woman, but his wife must not mind it.  I wonder if he keeps those "spit cups" around his house too?  Just questions that float through my mind sometimes when I am bored.

It is a full work week next week, hopefully it will not seem as long and drawn out as this week did.  I have a feeling that The Boss will be around more next week (we wouldn't be lucky enough for two weeks without him around).  The lawn also needs to be mowed again, so that is definitely something to look forward to.  I bet he will be adding waders to his normal mowing attire to combat the goose guano.

Right now, I am watching the DropKick Murphys perform their live concert Streaming Outta Fenway Park in Boston.  Enjoy your weekend and we will meet back here on Monday!

Tuesday, May 26, 2020

I Hobbled To Work Today

After my long weekend from hell, I have to admit, I was happy to be going back to work.  Maybe a change in scenery would help bring me a bit of better luck.  Although I was no longer bleeding, when I looked at my injuries this morning, I have to admit, it was a bit shocking.  Most of the blood was gone, but replaced with bruising - and a lot of it!  My chin was now purple up to and including the right side of my lip, both my knees had bruising and all my toes as well as the entire top of my foot was now the strangest shade of greenish purple I had ever seen.  No folks, this color was not one to be found in the Crayola crayon set!

We do not have a dress code at The Nuthouse because 99.9% of our interactions with customers are via phone and email.  So, we have no one to impress here at the Hobbes Street location.  That being said, I always try and dress business casual.  Today, my definition of business casual included flip flops.  There was no way in hell a shoe was fitting over this wrapped, swollen, purple foot and toe, nor did the thought of trying to stick it in an enclosed shoe interest me in the least.  So, it was a button-down oxford, a nice pair of Bermuda khaki shorts and flip flops (business on the top, beach on the bottom).  If I do say so myself, I still looked better than how some people come into the office....I won't mention any names.

I drove to work and was not looking forward to having to explain why I looked so damn handsome today.  I arrived and what is the first thing I see.....geese and lots of them.  They are all over the grassy area near our door and leading up to the pond.  Not only are there large geese, but some are a bit smaller in size - it almost looks like their children are visiting too.  Oh, this is not going to go over well when The Boss arrives.  I guess these geese enjoy a good string art display and love noshing on garlic!  I'm glad to see all of his work to keep them away are working so well.

I made it into the office and one by one as my coworkers arrived the looks on their faces were hilarious.  Most, immediately asked what the hell happened to me and if I was alright.  After everyone settled in, I entertained them with my tale of woe and pulled my foot out from under my desk to show the real damage.  That's when the looks turned to horror.  I guess my cut and bruised chin was one thing, but once they saw my knees and foot which were initially hidden from view, they were shocked to say the least.

The Boss arrived by late morning and by that time everyone was used to seeing my battered and bruised exterior. When The Boss walked in he was already bitching about the geese and he said he could tell they were crapping everywhere.  Everyone looked surprised that he hadn't mentioned my "new look".  Truth be told, he actually didn't even mention or notice my injuries until I got up after lunch to use the photocopier.  Wow, he is one observant individual!

I am happy to report, I survived my first day back after the long weekend.  I entertained my co-workers with my squirrel-gate story and they not only laughed but were worried about me.  My toe, although bruised and battered is no longer throbbing or bleeding.  All in all, it was a good day!

Monday, May 25, 2020

That's the Last Time I Add a Day To My Three-Day Weekend!

You know what they say about the best laid plans.  I had taken Friday off to add another day to my three-day weekend.  For some crazy reason, I thought an extra day would be a wonderful and relaxing thing.  Boy, was I wrong!  I clearly should have worked on Friday and quite possibly the entire weekend to avoid what occurred.

As I had posted, my Friday was spent in technology hell with my Mom.  Nothing like trying to talk an older person through the process of how WiFi works in relation to a newly purchased television.  We got through it, unscathed for the most part.  I admitted to some eye rolling, but over the phone my Mom could not see that, so I made a bunch of good son points (worth it).  When I hadn't heard from her with any additional questions or problems, I broke down and called her on Saturday to check in.  She reported that the TV was set up in her bedroom (where there previously was a WiFi dead spot) and everything was working perfectly.  I'm not sure if it was just plain luck or if there ever really was an actual dead spot in that area of the house.  I don't know, but I am not poking the bear on this one.  I'm glad that it is working and she is very happy to be far away from the westerns being played out in the living room.

On Saturday, I ran some errands and met a couple of friends at their home.  Don't worry, we were all practicing proper social distancing.  It was just nice to see some other humans in person for a change.  We had a great dinner and drinks and I even got home at a decent hour.  Come to think of it Saturday as a great day and the high point of the long weekend.

On Sunday morning, I woke up and decided that I was going to enjoy some time outside (it was a beautiful day) and I hadn't really taken Cooper on a long walk since being stuck home in quarantine.  He and I both missed these walks and what better than a beautiful Sunday to enjoy one?  We had breakfast, I showered and got out his leash.  The mere sight of the red, woven tether sent Cooper into maximum overdrive.  He was soooo excited and he started jumping around and running to the door.  Now Milo just looked at him like he was an idiot and went back to sleep.  Truth be told, I bet Milo was happy too - that we were both leaving.  I grabbed some water, put on my flip flops and we were on our way!

We were about twenty minutes into our jaunt around town when the worm turned and Sunday turned into a shitty-assed day.  Picture this...sunshine on our shoulders, a slight breeze blowing through my hair (and his fur) and not too many people on the sidewalk...perfection!  Then out of nowhere, three grey squirrels begin chasing each other.  I must admit, I wasn't paying the closest of attention (did I mention the sun and the breeze), but don't you know, Cooper was right on top of it.  He saw these squirrels and I'm not sure if he thought he could climb a tree like they were or if he just thought running around like a squirrel looked like fun - but he took off like a bat out of hell.  Although, I didn't notice the squirrels before he did, I did have a iron-clad grip on his leash (you see where this is going).  When he took off, he took me with him.  I don't know exactly what happened, like they say in the happened so fast, but next thing I know I am sprawled out, face down on the sidewalk.  I still have the leash tight in my hand (protecting my buddy at all costs), but my flip flops are off my feet and I feel an immense pain shooting from my left foot.  I try and gather my thoughts and find my shoes; I sit up and feel a scrape on my chin (which is a bit bloody), two scrapped knees, they are not really bloody, just oozing a bit. That's when I see it, why my left foot hurts so badly.  My left foot is COVERED in blood; I take my water bottle and pour some water on my foot and I see the damage first hand.  On a positive note, it looks like two toes might be broken (yup, that's the good part).  The worst is that most of the toe nail on my big toe was just hanging there.  Just holding on for dear life and flapping in that breeze that I was so excited about just a few minutes prior.

As I mentioned, we were about twenty minutes into our walk when squirrel-gate occurred.  It took me almost forty-five minutes to get back home.  When I finally arrived, I dropped Cooper off, wrapped my foot and headed to an Urgent Care center to have the damage assessed by a professional.  After waiting almost an hour, I finally was seen by a PA who actually chuckled a bit when I told him how my injury occurred (a-hole).  He cut away the part of the nail that had ripped away from my toe and told me I also had only one broken toe - the other one was badly sprained.  He prescribed some antibiotic cream and told me to change the bandage every day on the big toe, but there was really nothing he could do for the broken or sprained toes (isn't modern medicine great)?  He said I was lucky to have a long weekend, because all I was going to be doing on Memorial Day was resting and elevating my f'd up foot.

Yeah, Memorial Day has been a blast! I say again, no more extending a three-day weekend for me!  Work is going to be fun tomorrow (in case you didn't realize that was said sarcastically)!

Sunday, May 24, 2020

The Nuthouse Has Infiltrated My Parents Home!

Allow me to preface this post by saying I love my Mom to the moon and back and I enjoy talking and helping her in any and all ways.  Just sometimes, she is as nuts as the rest of the mixed nuts I deal with....maybe it's me?  Plus, I think parent stories are hilarious!

As I have previously discussed, my parents live on the other side of the country.  We talk frequently by phone and now by FaceTime (serenity now!), so it is almost like I am there....almost.  Earlier this month, I was catching up with my Mom and she was complaining how my Dad constantly watches westerns on the television in the living room (and she also was quick to add that he plays the TV much too loud).  They have a TV in their bedroom, but it is in a WiFi dead spot of the house.  I have purchased them a WiFi extender (didn't really work) and asked her to move her router (she likes it where it is).  Unfortunately,  her entertainment of choice is watching movies on Roku and Amazon Prime - which  both require a strong WiFi connection.

I suggested that if she placed a TV in my old bedroom (which is closer to the location of the router) she might get a better WiFi signal and be able to watch what she wants.  I told her televisions were so inexpensive, it would be almost free to set up a "movie room" for herself.  She commended me on having such a good idea (why didn't she think of that, said asked) and she immediately started talking about how she didn't have an extra satellite box.  I reminded her that if she only watched things on Roku and Prime, she wouldn't need a satellite box for that - this TV would be for streaming only.  I should have realized right there that my life was going to get very complicated very soon, but I didn't even see it coming.

Fast forward to current time - I decided to turn my three-day Memorial Day weekend into a four-day event.  I was going to stay home on Friday and just chill out for the day.  My phone rang early in the morning and I immediately thought it was going to be The Boss - but it was my Mom.  She proudly told me that she had purchased a new TV and it had Roku already pre-loaded.  She was looking forward to hooking it up and being able to escape the loud wild west going on constantly in their living room.  She just wasn't sure how she was going to get the WiFi to the TV.  This was my first indication that my day off was not going to be relaxing.  I reminded her that WiFi did not need "wires" to work and that it will pick up the signal fine from my old bedroom.  She seemed to understand what I was saying and that is when she added that she was going to put the TV in her bedroom.

I think at this point, I cannot lie, I rolled my eyes a bit.  I said that she doesn't get a strong signal in that part of the house - that was why we talked about putting the TV in my old room.  Remember... having your own movie area, etc.  She again brought up the satellite box and not having one in my old bedroom. Serenity Now, Serenity Now!  I went over again how this was going to be for streaming only - Roku was pre-loaded and her Amazon fire stick could be plugged into one of the HDMI ports. She didn't ask me what an HDMI port was, but I have a feeling she was considering it.  She then asked if she could try it in her bedroom - maybe the signal will work better with this TV.

I told her anything was possible (always encourage, never discourage) and said it was worth a shot, she had nothing to lose.  I asked her not to unhook all of wires on her old TV (DVR, Satellite box, etc) until she was sure the Roku and Prime worked correctly.  I did this to stave off her forgetting where the wires for all her devices needed to go on the new TV.  I don't think I could handle that nightmare this weekend. She said that was a great idea and she hadn't thought of that.

We ended our call with me reminding her to make sure it worked for a couple of days - not just once, before switching everything over.  I even said to try it at different times of the day - but I don't think she was listening.  I think her brain was on overload trying to remember the things we discussed.  I then tossed a bomb I didn't even mean to do or realized I had.  I said, "if this works in your bedroom and you end up switching all of you equipment to the new TV, don't be surprised if you have to reprogram your satellite TV remote so it will work the box.   Immediately, there was complete silence on the other end of the phone.  I think I may have exploded her head with that comment.  Yup, I don't think this hell is over yet!

It is now Sunday morning and no additional calls....not sure if that is a good or a bad sign.

Thursday, May 21, 2020

Random Stories From the Nuthouse

Sometimes just sitting back to observe and listen while trapped in the Nuthouse provides more entertainment than one person should be allowed.  The past few days, I have come to realize that this shit just writes itself...enjoy!
  • The Boss has discovered, the hard way, that the metal roof on our building is hot during a sunny day.  For some reason he had to use a ladder to look on the roof (I cannot even venture a guess why), but the one time he does not don gloves to perform a simple task, he ends up burning his hands.  Sir, metal becomes hot when under sunlight all day (and also plastic will melt when subjected to a heat gun).  Could this be an introduction to thermal dynamics for him? 
  • We discovered that prior to this pandemic, The Boss had been having some work performed in his basement.  Last year there was a large spring rain storm and his basement obtained some water damage.  Luckily, the basement was not completely finished at the time, but some things were damaged and he wanted to make sure it didn't happen again    According to his description, he went "full man cave" and it turned out beautiful.  He said he had a sump pump installed (in case of another large rain storm), but we discovered that the water collected by the sump pump is not being automatically directed anywhere.  I know I was confused too!  The way I understand is, if/when it rains, he must go downstairs, hook a return hose to the pump and put the hose out the window.  This way any water sucked up by the pump will be deposited outside, thus protecting the man cave and its contents.  So, I guess he will have to keep a close eye on the weather and not leave home if a rain storm is predicted - otherwise his home may become an ark.
  • We have a programmable thermostat in the new building.  The Boss has tried on three separate occasions to set it up and has not been successful.  I am beginning to think he doesn't know how a thermostat actually works.  He is constantly "adjusting" it throughout the day.  Yesterday, I counted eight separate trips to raise and/or lower the temperature.  I see a new game on the horizon once summer is here....something to look forward to.
  • The Boss asked Drew to join him outside to take a look at the strings he and the warehouse guys had set up to deter the geese from coming on the grass (BTW - they are not working).  This review required them to walk in the grass, much of which had not been mowed.  About one hour after they came back in the office, Drew discovered a tick on his arm.  He did what any "normal" person would do - he removed it.  Then, he made the mistake of telling The Boss about it (sucker).  Well, The Boss had quite an extreme reaction to this information.  He started pacing around the office and after about 15 minutes, he said he had to go home and take a shower.  
Monday is a holiday, so we are looking at a three-day weekend!  I think tomorrow may be fairly quiet, so I am going to stay home and have a four-day weekend...yea me!  Enjoy your weekend Nutties!

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Did You Know That Plastic and Heat Don't Mix?

We are settling in nicely to our new surroundings, but today The Boss attempted to burn the building down - just another Wednesday!  You know those heavy-duty plastic mats that you put on the floor to make your chair easier to roll?  Well, The Boss needed one so moving his chair would be not only easier, but also offer some protection to the carpeting below. 

We ended up placing an online order for six of them from our office supply store about a week ago.  This way everyone in the office and the receiving desk in the warehouse could move about freely.  We were happy to see that they arrived today - they were rolled up in boxes.  I passed them out and everyone unrolled and placed them under their chair.  Since they had been rolled, we all found something heavy to place on the corners of the mat to weigh it down.  We figured it would only take a day or two until they would lie flat on their own.

When I say "we all" I actually mean everyone except The Boss.  How could he waste the time to do what everyone else was doing?  He is The Boss and much smarter than us - he had a better idea!  I saw him walk into the warehouse and return with something that looked a bit like a drill, but I really didn't get a good look at it.  I went to his office and I quickly discovered that he not obtained a drill, but rather a heat gun from his warehouse trip.  He decided that he was going to use this heat gun to aid in the unrolling process.  From my previous experiences here, I knew this had disaster written all over it - it was just a matter of time!

He started by sitting in his chair, hunched over with the heat gun passing it back and forth over the rolled areas of the chair mat.  This went on for almost half an hour and to be honest, I didn't notice much improvement in the flatness of his mat.  I could tell that he was quickly losing interest in this task (A.D.D. anyone?) and I thought he was going to give up and follow the crowd by placing a heavy object in each corner of the mat.  I guess in that minute, I had forgotten where I work...

He exited his office and returned with four large books - but no, they were not for the corners of the mat, Nutties; they were to prop up the heat gun so he didn't have to hold it any longer.  After he arranged the heat gun on the books aiming it towards the rolled mat, he then walked out of his office and returned the warehouse (I would imagine to brag about his brilliant idea).  After about five minutes a peculiar smell enveloped the entire office area - it was clearly, melted, burning plastic.  I immediately ran into his office and saw his set up, but it looked a bit different than he originally left it.  Now his mat had a charred, circle shaped hole where the heat gun burned completely through.  Melted plastic had also dripped on the very carpet he was attempting to protect with said mat and there were black char marks on the top book.  I immediately unplugged the fire stick and waited for his return.  He came in from the warehouse and actually asked what the smell was - no one looked at each other or said a word.  He went in his office and found his mat, which now had a burned hole in the middle, and said ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!  He then took the books and put them on the corners of the mat and went on with his day as if nothing happened. Fortunately for us it was a fairly nice today, because every window and door in that office had to be opened to allow the stench to dissipate.

On a side note, I have to admit, each time I hear him roll over the part of the mat with the burned hole and his one chair wheel falls in, I can barely contain my laughter.  I have a feeling this is going to amuse me for a while.  It's the simple things that keep me going!

Did I mention that we still do not have a dumpster on-site?  I also noticed today, that The Boss is now bringing his garbage in from home.  He brings it in the office and just adds it to the pile in the warehouse - WTF!

Monday, May 18, 2020

Serenity Now! Serenity Now!

Welcome to another Monday, Nutties!  When we last left the Nuthouse, the lawn was being mowed by The Boss, who was almost unrecognizable in his array of safety equipment.  When I arrived this morning, the first thing I noticed was not all the lawn (which isn't very large) had been mowed.  It looked like a little over half had been completed.  I knew there was going to be quite a story behind this - should I save myself, run back to my car and just drive home?  Nope, I am tough....I continued to the front door and walked right in.  I'm sure I will be regretting that decision sooner rather than later.

When I entered the building Adam and Alex were in the front office talking with The Boss.  I could immediately tell that he had them cornered (it may have been the distant, but startled look in their eyes) and they were quite pleased to see me!  They quickly mentioned they should get back to work and just about ran to the warehouse.  Cowardly bastards, didn't you ever hear you leave no man behind?  I will remember this! SERENITY NOW!

The Boss' attention quickly turned to me, like a bear who had moved on from the camper he was currently eating to his next delicious victim.  It was now my turn to be his sounding board.  He immediately started to explain the half-mowed lawn.  From what I was able to understand, there are geese around (the lawn leads to a small pond) and these geese clearly have it out for him (his words - not mine), because they have crapped all over the lawn.  Well, he just couldn't deal with the guano any longer and for his sanity (his word, not mine), he had to stop mowing.  He was so distraught; he loaded the lawnmower back into his car (does he know we have a work truck??) and returned it to his house.  Now, there is not only goose crap on the lawn to contend with, but he also has it in his trunk!

He then told me he spent the entire weekend researching geese and how to get rid of them (humanely, of course).  He also mentioned he contacted local pest control companies.  He was unable to discover much information that he considered useful.  He did read that garlic may work (I guess geese are closely related to learn something new every day) or putting string up where they like to visit (outside of the water) might deter them.

Lastly, he informed me that today he and the warehouse staff will be pounding small stakes into the ground and stringing a string in a diamond pattern near the water's edge to keep the geese from leaving the pond. He will then spread garlic cloves in the area.  When I asked if maybe the area should be mowed prior to pounding the stakes he gave me his common response of "I don't need an editorial" (this is his go-to statement when someone says something he doesn't like or agree with).  Well, I guess we are going to have string art in the half-mowed lawn which will now be safe from vampire visits.  I know you are jealous!

Where are the rest of the employees...I need help damn it!

On a personal note - I was saddened to hear of the passing of Jerry Stiller (notice the meme choice for today).  Seinfeld was (and is) still one of my favorite quotable shows.  RIP - Frank Costanza, you were hilarious!

Friday, May 15, 2020

Crash Course - Lawn Mowing 101

This morning started out like any other work morning.  I woke up, showered, fed my two furry buds and left for the office.  As I drove there, I wondered what fresh hell of craziness I would be facing today.  My question was quickly answered as I turned on to the pot-holed and crater filled "road" to our new office dwelling.

Just ahead of me was what looked like The Boss' car; I say it looked like, because I had some difficulty seeing it completely because perilously hanging from the trunk was a lawn mower! Now, a normal person would have brought home the work truck if they were considering the transport of  a lawn mower - but there are no normal people here, this is the Nuthouse!  I made sure I kept my distance from the mower transport vehicle.  It was barely secured in the trunk by a piece of rope and was bouncing around like a kid on a trampoline as he hit what seemed like every pot hole available.  I don't know how that mower remained in the trunk - I was witnessing a mower miracle!

As I got out of my car, The Boss looked over at me smiling like a proud child.  He had on his mask and big work gloves and he said, I'm  planning on mowing the lawn today".  Oh boy, this was going to be even better than I had originally expected!  He had some difficulties removing the mower from his trunk and I helped a bit.  Once we had got it out, he deposited it in the middle of a large grass patch and followed me into the building (at a very safe distance, of course).

As the morning progressed, he made a couple of veiled references to the lawn mower being outside.  I wonder if he thought someone else might "volunteer" to do the deed.  Well, no fear there - no one stepped up.  By 11 AM, I guess he realized it was all him and he proceeded to get ready to mow.  I know what you are thinking - he just grabbed some sunglasses and went outside to mow, right?  No, did you forget who we are talking about?

He took a duffel bag from his office, went into the restroom and in a few minutes emerged a totally different person.  He had changed his mask from the N95 to a full respirator (like the one he used when painting).  He also had changed his clothes and tucked his pant legs into his stocks.  These socks went up to the middle of his knees, so as you can imagine, this was quite a fashionable look.  He also had large, thick gloves which reminded me of the gloves a zookeeper who was dealing with large birds of prey might use.  He topped off the ensemble with a baseball cap and some extremely large safety glasses.  Yup, this man was ready to mow or clean up a toxic waste site!

Thursday, May 14, 2020

Don't Worry, My Eye Rolling Is Back & In Perfect Form!

If you remember, when I left the office the other day,  I noticed that the lawn was in need of a good mowing and I also was wondering where our dumpster was.  When I arrived this morning, The Boss wasn't in yet, but he called and assured me he was on his way.  As a side note, I am not sure why he keeps me so apprised of his imminent arrivals.  I wonder if he feels guilty that everyone is here and he still is having reservations about his safety of being here.  I don't think anyone would hold it against him if he stayed home a bit longer.

He arrived around lunchtime (face mask on point) and went directly to his office.  After lunch, I called him on his intercom (safety first) and mentioned that our dumpster wasn't here yet and questioned if he had called them to have it transferred over.  Currently, we are putting the garbage bags in the corner of the warehouse and they are really beginning to pile up.  He said he had not phoned them but would in the next week or so (????).  I mentioned that garbage from the sales office and warehouse was really getting out of hand and questioned why we would wait a couple of weeks to have the dumpster brought over.  Now, I hope you are sitting down for this explanation - he said the garbage companies were closed due to COVID-19!  In my world, garbage removal has been considered an essential business and I personally have had garbage picked up at my home each week.  But, yes, according to The Boss garbage companies are currently closed! Wow - just wow!

After I finished shaking my head at that conversation, I knew I couldn't just stop there (yup, I am a masochist).  I asked if he had a company he would like me to contact about mowing the lawn and taking care of the landscaping around the property.  He laughed and quickly told me that he would be doing the lawn work at the office. For those of you new to this blog or do not remember, The Boss does not have a good track record with machinery (have forklift - will destroy).  What could I say?  I just said, okay, I thanked him and hung up the intercom.  This has disaster written all over it!

We left a little early again today and as I was walking out the door, I envisioned The Boss mowing the lawn...I laughed a bit to myself and am actually looking forward to the show (entertainment has been so boring during the quarantine)!  I know - I am an awful person and going straight to hell!

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Tuesday In the Salt Mines!

Hello Tuesday, so glad you could come by and visit!  It was a bit easier waking up and getting motivated today.  I didn't even hit the snooze button when the alarm sounded this morning.  My furry roommates still are wondering what the heck I am doing as I am getting ready in the morning.  I think by the end of the week we should all be back in the "going to an actual office" groove.

I arrived today and The Boss was already there.  He was barricaded inside his office, but he was still technically present.  Yes, for those keeping track, he was still wearing a N95 mask.  Once everyone arrived, he lasted a total of 30 minutes before he loudly stated he had errands to run.  I'm not sure what he was planning on doing, but his normal errand of purchasing toilet paper would have to wait - there is still none to be found in this god-forsaken town!

I did some billing and a large order came in that Rachel had been pursuing for almost a year.  It was nice to see and I think the warehouse staff appreciated a large order that would keep them busy for a few days.  If you don't have stuff to occupy your time around here, the day drags to no end.  An hour, seems like five and then you start to go a bit Nutty.

By lunchtime, The Boss had returned with pizza and drinks for everyone.  He said as long as we eat ten feet apart, we could all eat together.  He cracks me up!  I did wonder how he was planning to eat since he would have to move his mask to do so, thus exposing his mouth and nose to the outside world.  My question was quickly answered when he did not partake in the pizza lunch.  He said he wasn't hungry, but would bring whatever was left home to eat later.

He left around 3 PM and he said if it was quiet, we should all pack it in around 4 PM.  4 PM arrived and it was still quiet, so we locked up and all went home.  Another day in the new building done.  As I walked to my car, I noticed our dumpster wasn't on site yet and the grass was going to need to be mowed soon.  I guess if The Boss comes in tomorrow, I will call him on the intercom (safety first) and discuss these items.   Oh, it's great to be back!

Monday, May 11, 2020

Today I Return to a Normal Work Day!

Well, this morning the timer counted down to zero and the "explosion" was the scary fact that I had to leave my comfy home and return to working in an actual office!  I thought I was ready and wanted this, but this morning I felt like the kid who was going back to school after a wonderful summer vacation. You remember those days, don't you? Yup, it sucked!

As I roamed around the house trying to find something comfortable to wear, my mind was flooded with reasons why I should stay home just a little while longer (not because of fear, just because I didn't want to go).  Is is really safe out there?  What happens if I catch something?  Is that a scratchy throat?  Can my Mom send a note to get me out of this?  I quickly began to accept reality - I was going back to work today!

When I arrived at our new offices, I saw that Alex and Wayne were already there waiting.  I unlocked the front door and so it began.  They went to the warehouse and I put my two bottles of Coca-Cola in the fridge.  See how well behaved I am?  I resisted bringing a bottle of liquor for my bottom drawer - I wonder how long it will be before I am sorry for that decision?

As I left the kitchen area, Drew, Rachel, Mike and Adam arrived - the gang was officially back together.  We spent some time catching up and looking around the new place.  I have to admit, it looked great and was ready for business.  As were were talking, my phone rang notifying me that I had a Face Time call.  Now, I had told my parents that I was going back to work and morning Face Time chats were going to be suspended for a while, but when I looked down, I noticed it was The Boss. Lord help me, the man couldn't call on the phone, he had to Face Time me (I think I may have rolled my eyes)!  I answered and he wanted to see if everyone had arrived and to let us know that he was coming it a little later. Well, I can rest easy now with that info!

We got ourselves situated and Mike finished organizing his office (I hope he keeps the door closed so I don't have to see his big-ass cross on his wall).   Around 1 PM The Boss arrived wearing a N95 mask and immediately began telling us we were sitting too close.  We were all at our own desks and had sufficient spacing between us, but he said we were too close (so it begins).  He then went in his office and closed the door (hey, there might be a benefit to this social distancing).  By 1:30 PM The Boss was clearly getting antsy; he was pacing in his office.  Remember, he cannot sit for long periods of time (anything over 8 minutes), but in this new environment, he clearly doesn't feel safe roaming around like he used to.  So, he decided he had to go the the post office and check the mailbox. Bye, Felicia!

As the end of the day rolled around, The Boss hadn't returned and the phones really didn't ring that much.  It was nice to spend the day with everyone and I especially enjoyed not having to hold my bladder until I returned home to use the facilities.  The concept of a clean bathroom is clearly wasted on those who have never been faced with using a bathroom like we used to have.

On my way home, I picked up a sub for dinner (I wasn't cooking tonight) and some treats for my furry boys.  I hope they missed me, because I really missed them!

Thursday, May 7, 2020

Tick, Tock - Time Is Running Out!

It's becoming real....tomorrow is my last day working from home!

I know, I cannot believe it myself!  I haven't had the heart to tell Cooper, it will break his little puppy dog heart and I'm not telling Milo because he will be so happy he might do a jig.  I, on the other hand, am feeling quite conflicted about the upcoming change.  My mind is spinning with a million questions.  Will I be able to handle having The Boss around for eight full hours.  Has Mike doubled down on the whole God thing?  I remember him saying, in passing, that this virus was "Gods plan".  I know my Boss callus isn't going to be as strong as before the quarantine, but I will not be able to handle any of the God talk from Mike and Wayne!  I may need to bring a bottle of something stronger than Coke and put it in my desk drawer for emergencies.

Am I going to be able to fit into any of my work clothes?  I started with the best intentions - I was working out when the quarantine began, but that quickly fell by the wayside.  Instead of exercising, I found new things to eat and discovered that I kinda like cooking.  Yes, for those of you wondering, I finished the coconut macaroons last night and they were glorious!  As I mentioned before, maybe Weight Watchers is in my future....

How are we all going to do in the new building?  Remember, Rachel, Drew and I will be in the same area; are we going to be able to function together in a small space?  Will we get along?  Will Rachael flirt with Drew (please, no)?  Will Drew continue to chew that awful tobacco and spit it in a cup on his desk?  Again, I really think I need to pack alcohol in my desk drawer.  I might hit the liquor store tonight.

Will business pick up or will we all be sitting around looking at each other waiting for the phones to ring?  I know at home I could take a nap when nothing was going on; I somehow think those actions might be frowned upon at the new building.  Maybe I should call in sick on Monday...

Well, I do know that whatever happens it will be an adventure!  I am also sure that The Boss will be doing something annoying and/or hilarious.  I hope I still am able to effectively roll my eyes.  I  was  a master at it, but I have been a bit out of practice with the quarantine and all.  Any bets on how long I can last without an eye roll on Monday?

Have a wonderful weekend and we will reconvene on Monday evening - I'm sure I will have a story or two to share with the group.

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

I Didn't Do Much Of Anything Today!

Well, I am almost embarrassed to say that I really did nothing today.  I feel comfortable admitting it here because I know you all will not be surprised by me saying it.  I did nothing and it was wonderful and might I say, glorious!  I did vacuum up cat and dog hair, but that doesn't really count since I do that every day.   I have also come to the conclusion that having to wear regular clothes (not workout gear) and going into an actual office is going to be quite a shock to my quarantined system.

Funny story; last night I had a craving for coconut macaroons (I know - strange), but I looked online for a recipe and found one that looked sooooo simple.  How could I mess this up?  I had all of the ingredients and I was feeling quite confident in my baking prowess!  I mixed the ingredients in a large bowl and they seemed a bit runny, but I had never made macaroons before, so what do I know.  I formed them and put them in the oven, setting the timer for the recommended cooking time.  They smelled delicious while they were baking and once that timer went off, I was ready to chow down!  I opened the oven and I did not have mounds of cooked coconut resembling what I had put in a mere 20 minutes before.  I was looking at a completely level layer of one, large coconut macaroon.  In the heat of the oven, they had all spread out flat.  I guess I created a new cookie - coconut macaroon bars.  They were flat as pancakes, but still tasted delicious!  Look out Martha Stewart, I'm coming for ya with my new creation!

FYI - I'm sure I will polish off the rest of the macaroon bars tonight.  Yup, I might need Weight Watchers after this quarantine - stop judging me!

Now the major question - I wonder what I can put off doing tomorrow?  Tune in and see what doesn't get accomplished.  Good Night Nutties!

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Is Today Tuesday? Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Welcome to Tuesday Nutties!  It is really no different than the other days that have passed us by during our quarantine - just a different name.  Today I saw a funny thing online, it said - today is Cinco de Mayo, which falls on Taco Tuesday, of which we are under quarantine by a virus named after a Mexican beer.  Woo hoo, time to celebrate, tacos for everyone!

We had a video call today and The Boss informed us that on Monday we can start to resume coming into the new office and working together.  Of course, we will have to keep socially distant, but we can begin to have some normalcy to our work life.  I for one, am ready to go back!  As I mentioned yesterday, Milo is still giving me the side eye and I sometimes don't feel 100% comfortable with him is time for me to go back to work!

From what I observed on the call, everyone seems, like me, to be ready to go back.  The sales staff reported that calls from customers are starting to slowly increase and they even have a couple of big orders that will be coming in any day now.  This seems like perfect timing to get everyone back under one roof and bring production back to at least 75%.  On Friday, I met the warehouse crew at the new  offices so they could put the final touches on the warehouse and dock areas.  They worked hard on Friday organizing and they too are ready to go!  Let's do this!

The Boss said he had spoken to the owner of our old office in the industrial park and let them know that all of our stuff has been removed from our building.  We don't have to go back there, but we do have to bring in our parking passes, keys, etc. so they can be returned to the guard shack.  I won't miss going to that place or holding my bladder to avoid the scary bathroom.  I think I am going to like the new building (and love the bathroom), but I don't think my car is going to be a fan of that bumpy ass dirt entry road.

I'm not sure if The Boss is planning on coming back to the office in a full-time capacity (he didn't mention anything on the call).  I'm sure he is still up in the air and will be deciding day-to-day.  I do imagine if he hears one sneeze or cough, he will retreat back to his house quicker than you could say COVID-19!  I hope when he is in the office, he isn't so nuts acting that I will have to sniff some pepper in the restroom to bring about a sneezing fit....

Only a few more days home - I better enjoy it while I can.  Naps for everyone!

Monday, May 4, 2020

My Cat Is Plotting My Demise

In the past, I know my cat Milo has not been the most enthusiastic about my presence here at home. He has given me some shifty eyed looks and seems to be annoyed when I enter a room he has claimed as his own.  Yup, he honestly believes that the world revolves around him and that Cooper and I are his loyal servants!

Today, everything got real!  There is no question that he is sick of my sh*t as the meme above illustrates.  This morning I ate my breakfast and it was time to feed my boys.  I got their bowls ready and as I went to the cupboard, I immediately remembered something that I had forgotten a few days ago.  Milo was running low (and was now out of) kitty kibble!  Now, Milo does not eat kibble as his main source of nutrition - he is a canned/wet food cat all the way.  But, he does appreciate a couple of pieces of kibble as a palette cleansing side dish.  It amounts to approximately one tablespoon of kibble each time he is fed - so clearly, it is not very much.  That being said, the cupboard is bare!

Now, I know it is my fault (who else could I blame), and I am unsure as to why I didn't order it from Chewy like I always do.  I guess my days are just running into one another and I lost track of my responsibilities.  I put the bowls down for breakfast and hoped he wouldn't notice.  Cooper quickly began eating like it was his first meal in months and Milo started to eat his canned food.   He then looked over to the kibble bowl, noticed it was empty and came over to the area of the kitchen that I was standing (hiding) in.  He sat down and stared up at me like....did you forget something?

I quickly began to spout my excuses and apologies to my royal king and begged for his forgiveness.  I said I would run out after lunch and purchase the biggest bag I could find  and this travesty would never happen again.  Milo clearly was not having any of it!  He continued to stare a hole through the middle of my head for what seemed like a good two minutes.  He finally blinked and continued to stare at me  - he looked at me like I had pulled my pants down and took a dump in his litter box.  He then gave me the cold shoulder and slowly walked back to his bowl.  He begrudgingly continued to eat his canned food and would look over to his kibble bowl every few bites.  I could tell he was pissed and for some crazy reason I really think he is going to get be back in a major way for this oversight.  I guess I will nap with one eye open from now on!

After lunch, I made a special trip to PetSmart to pick up a bag of his favorite kibble.  I also purchased a toy of each of them.  Hopefully, this will at least put me back in the good graces of my feline leader.  I brought the load home and he wouldn't even look at me, or the toy I picked out.  He is such a little bitch!  Cooper loved the toy and continues to play with it as I write this blog.  Milo needs to take some lessons from Cooper - let it go man!  So, you missed one tablespoon of kibble with your breakfast this morning.  Do you realize there are people who still cannot find toilet paper in the stores?