Friday, February 28, 2020

And The Winner Is.....

The calls have been tallied and with a final number of 44 (yup, The Boss called NINE times today), our winner is (drum roll please)...Alex, with an original guess of 42 calls!  He just beat out Adam who had guessed 40 calls.  This was a fun game (unless you were the one who had to speak to The Boss each time he called) and I'm sure it will become a tradition whenever he leaves the office for an extended trip.  Don't worry Nutties, I'll do better next time.  I really thought he wouldn't call as often as he did.

The show is over and  everyone seems happy with the results and the number of leads received.  Now, the troops are waiting for the crates to be returned for final pack up.  It is my understanding that there is no way to determine when the crates will be returned.  I've heard that people even give the forklift drivers a "tip" to help bring their crates in a more timely manner. So, it's just a waiting game now.  Before I left the office today they had been waiting over two hours already (and you know how certain people get when they don't have distractions).  I don't envy the salespeople at all! They said they were going to get some lunch and hopefully everything would be waiting for them when they returned.

So, the party here is drawing to a close.  Everyone will be back on Monday morning.  I now have the weekend to prepare myself for the lunacy that is guaranteed with his return.  I think I may have had a record low occurrences of eye rolls this past week.  Oh, good times, good times!

On the docket for next week....moving to the Hobbes Street building.  Oh, I'm sure that process won't be painful at all....

Until next time - enjoy your weekend.  I know I will!

Thursday, February 27, 2020

I Am Out of the Running For $$

Well, it is official - Wayne and I are out of the running for The Boss' phone call pool.  I had 27 and Wayne had 20 and those numbers were null and void with the phone calls received yesterday!  So, not only does this man drive me insane, he now also has cost me money.  This place is nutty!

I heard some interesting stories from Rachel and Drew when they phoned today.  It sounds like everyone is more than ready to come home and be done with this show.  They say the days are long and with The Boss around (and no real distractions to occupy him), the days seem endless!

Last night everyone went out to dinner and drinks were consumed.  You know what they say about drinking - that's when the truth starts to come out.  I think a few feathers were rustled, but all in all everyone was still speaking this morning.  I did hear that after drinking, The Boss decided to play some blackjack.  On a normal day,  he really fancies himself a math wiz, so he in turn believes he is quite the blackjack player.  I have mentioned that he kinda wants to be Drew, so I guess he thought he would impress him with his card skills.  Well, they must be using the "new math" now in regard to blackjack, because according to Drew, The Boss was housed!  Each time he lost, he would quickly (and loudly) put the blame on the person(s) before him because they "don't know how to play the game."  He finally moved to a table by himself (just him and the dealer) and he still continued to lose.  He then blamed it on Drew (who was not even playing). Yup, never his fault - that is consistent!

According to Rachel the noxious smell returned today - she and the rest of the staff were so pleased!

One more day of freedom....everyone will be back in the office Monday morning.

Call count for today - Five.

Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Call Count for Today

Call count from The Boss today - seven.  For those keeping track, this gives us a total so far of thirty phone calls!

For the love of all that is holy, stop calling us!

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Are There Logic Bugs on the West Coast?

Today something happened that even surprised me and as you know, nothing around here seems to surprise me anymore.  I received a phone call from The Boss early this morning, checking in to see how the remainder of the day went yesterday.  I brought him up to speed on the orders that went out the door as well as those we have in process.  He seems pleased with the way things are progressing while he is away.  I was hoping that this update would have a positive cause and effect result on the number of phone calls I would be receiving the rest of the day (hey, a guy can dream).

Now, to the surprising part.  He mentioned that his original plan was to be moved and operational in the Hobbes Street property on March 1 (actually open for business on March 2).  He said he had been thinking about this timeline and he didn't feel it was "doable."  Wow, really???  Considering staff isn't flying back from Vegas until the 29th - how could that timeline not be "doable?".  Where did this nugget of logic come from?  I am beginning to think that he may have been bitten by some sort of "logic bug" on the West Coast.  I'm hoping it will be like Spider Man - once bitten by the logic bug, he will have super logic powers and be able to look at any problem or issue and come up with a solution (in a timely manner) like a normal person (again I say, a guy can dream).

After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I agreed that I thought the original deadline could be problematic and that extending the deadline  might be the right thing to do.  He then said he was thinking more April 1 to be moved and operational, but that date could be moved up once we see how the move actually goes. Wow, this must have been a powerful, manly logic bug and I, for one am in awe of  this infectious bugs powers! I am also praying that we have a East Coast version that I can have bite him if/when his logic levels start to diminish (yup, I am a big dreamer today).

I told The Boss that I have and will continue to pack up boxes and he told me additional supplies should be arriving tomorrow.    Good thing, because my initial supply is almost gone... there is actually a lot of stuff here!  Good thing the Hobbes Street property is larger in size.

I guess the show is going well and we have had a steady stream of visitors looking for additional information to be sent to them (that will also be my task).  Everybody is tired from standing all day and they remarked that we should rent the thicker padding to go under the rental carpet next time - their backs are screaming!  For those of you keeping track, I haven't heard any reports of noxious gas "leaks" at the event.

Phone call tally for The Boss today - eight calls!

Monday, February 24, 2020

Ding, Dong, They Are Gone!!!

Welcome to the best Monday EVER!.  Why, you may ask....well, EVERYONE is in Las Vegas preparing for the trade show that will start tomorrow! Those of us remaining here - me, Adam, Alex and Wayne are so ready for this week and we even decided to have lunch delivered today.  Party Time!

As the day progressed, we quickly discovered it wasn't going to be all wine and roses; unfortunately, the phones still work from Vegas!  Rather than The Boss making two dozen trips to the warehouse a day, he now telephones, what seems like every hour, to check on "how things are going."  Although, we are thoroughly enjoying not having him around I can assure you work is still being accomplished.  If you ask me, I think the warehouse is more productive without his constant "visits." Orders are being completed at a breakneck pace and I am finally catching up on projects that had been in a holding pattern for the last couple of weeks.

I spoke with Rachel around lunchtime and she is already done with dealing with The Boss.  He is 'helping" everyone get the booth prepared (setting up the exhibit, filling tables, etc.).  She assures me, he is of no help and is actually quite a hindrance.  She also shared that someone within our booth space has a very bad flatulence problem and she is very sure it is our fearless leader.  She says that if the gas levels continue to this degree tomorrow, the noises and fragrances could scare visitors away.  I guess next year gas masks should be added to the list of items included in the crate.  

I am told the flights were fine and everyone arrived unscathed.  Check in to the hotel was a bit long and tedious, but all in all was okay.  Everyone agreed leaving on Saturday for a Tuesday show was a little early, but they are enjoying the free time they have in Vegas before the show starts.   I guess The Boss did make a hotel reservation after all, so everyone is breathing a sigh of relief that they are not stuck "bunking" with him.  I guess he is at some small property off the strip.

I decided after the seventh call of the morning (keep in mind, they are three hours behind us) that I would start tracking how many times The Boss phones.  Those of us left behind to hold down the fort each donated $10 and whomever gets closest to the number of calls (by The Boss only) while they are away will win.

For those keeping track, The Boss call count for today was fifteen.  I'm hoping the number will be less tomorrow because it will be the first day of the show. 

Friday, February 21, 2020

Hello Universe, I Have An Announcement...

This is my one and only plan this weekend and nothing will change my mind.  Just wanted to put that out into the universe!  Don't forget everyone leaves for Vegas on Saturday, next week is going to be sweeeeet!  I will be dreaming about how wonderful as I have spend some quality time with my couch this weekend!

Have a wonderful weekend Nutties!

Thursday, February 20, 2020

Boring Is Nice

Many people love, even thrive on drama.  I have to admit, prior to working in The Nuthouse, I too enjoyed when something interesting and different would happen during one of my temp jobs.  It made the day interesting, broke up the monotony and gave me something to tell my friends about.

In this new job, it seems chaos is the norm and let me be the first to tell you, constant chaos can be exhausting and annoying.  That being said, I am happy, proud and cannot believe I am about to say - nothing crazy happened today!  It was a boring, run of the mill day in an regular office!  It was refreshing and wonderful and it wouldn't break my heart if it happens more often.

Just a couple of updates:

1.  Moving boxes arrived via UPS today - I guess we need them after all
2.  Wayne returned to work today and during one of the twenty trips The Boss made to the warehouse, he asked Wayne what happened to the table (you remember, the one he partially crushed when he was riding the forklift).  Well, Wayne isn't always the smartest tool in the shed and when this question was posed to him he responded, "I thought you did it with the forklift yesterday."  The Boss did not appreciate that reply (although it was painfully true) and quickly denied he was responsible.  He also reported to anyone who would listen that he "runs that machine better than anyone in the warehouse ever could."   That is good to know!
3.  The crates arrived in Vegas!

A good (and uneventful) day was had by all!

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Have Forklift, Will Destroy!

The Boss is constantly trying to look and act more masculine.  This saga has been ongoing since I arrived, but has really increased in intensity since he hired Drew.  As I had mentioned, Drew is the jeans and tobacco chewing type.  He likes to hunt, watch NASCAR and is seems secure in his manhood.  Now, The Boss is not really that type of person – which is not a problem to anyone but him.

Since Drew started, The Boss has continually tried to find common ground with him.  Which is clearly not working as well as he hoped, because they are two very different types of people with conflicting interests.  Sometimes I think The Boss wants to be Drew, but that’s a story for another time.  Now that you have this bit of background, this story will make more sense.

Today The Boss was walking around the office and mentioning he needed to use the forklift.  I think it was more of a general announcement to illustrate to everyone (Drew) that he is a Manly, Man!   I causally mentioned that I didn’t know he used the forklift and he snottily told me he uses it all the time.  Now, keep in mind, he could have asked anyone in the warehouse to do this task for him (well, almost anyone – I wouldn’t be brave enough to ask Wayne and fortunately he was absent today). Clearly, The Boss must have been a quart or two low on testosterone today.  Did I also mention he waited until lunch time and the guys were not in the warehouse to perform this task?

So, I guess he attempts to use the forklift.  During what I envision to be his short “ride” he created quite a racket that resulted in a folding table now crushed on one end and an empty rack being pulled away from the wall.  I did not see the destruction occur in real time, but I did hear it from my desk and wow, it was a powerful, manly noise!😁  When I went out to investigate, I witnessed only the aftermath and The Boss was nowhere to be found.  How did he get off and away from that forklift so quickly from the time I heard the crash and got out there?    I would have loved to see a video of him scurrying away from the scene of the crime.  It had to be hilarious!

Lunch is now over and the destruction was just waiting for the warehouse staff to return.  Alex came in to see me and asked what the hell happened in the shop.  I told him my suspicions but also mentioned that I didn’t see who actually did it.  He just laughed, shook his head and walked away.  Nothing more was said and Alex just cleaned the mess up.   The rack was re-positioned against the wall (Drew had to help) and the table although still operational, looks to have seen better days. Like it never happened!

Oh…the Nuthouse….

PS - Not one peep from Mike today. 😈😈😈

Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Quarterly Membership Recruitment Is In Full Force!

If I am to be perfectly honest this actually occurred last week.  I think it has taken me this long to actual process it.  As I have briefly mentioned, Mike is a born-again christian.  He is nice enough, as long as he stays away from his "fire and brimstone" speeches.  He has been with the organization almost since the beginning.  He and The Boss have known each other for years, they originally met when they worked for the same company.

If you remember, he tried (unsuccessfully) to have me join "Team Christ" when I first started as a temp.  He tried to make small talk which eventually evolved to the "have you been saved" mantra.  I thought (hoped) my original rebuff of his "advances" would be enough to keep me off his radar - but I guess was wrong, he really wanted me on his team.

He must be in the midst of a membership recruitment drive for his church, because he has been giving the god speech to anyone within earshot at the office the past few days.  He finally made his way to me (I must have been last on his list) and he started with his spiel.  Once again, I reminded him that I am not interested in religion and that I would kindly appreciate him removing me from his "call list."  Hey, it works for telemarketers sometimes, why not annoying holy rollers?

Well, it seems this time, he wasn't taking accepting that as an answer.  I guess his church gave him a quota - come back with three heathens or you cannot attend any more services and you go directly to hell.  He kept pushing me as to why I was so against religion and what did god ever to do me.  Wow, he really, really wants to go there.  You opened the door buddy - I mention how the church treats anyone different from what they consider "normal" like total shit,  remind him how they condone pedophilia, and how they are all about money.  He says he appreciates my concerns, but not all religion is this way and I am looking at the world in a very jaded way.   He then proceeds to tell me how his congregation is caring, loving and understanding to all. Yup, that's what they all say!

We start talking about a bunch of different topics and I find out the following about our god worshiping Mike:  He is TOTALLY against homosexuals - he actually used the phrase "against god's plan."   I made sure I mentioned that with an attitude like his god might like to screw him over and make his children gay.   What for this one - he also believes adultery is something that should be addressed/handled by the church.  Confused by this statement, I ask him to clarify.  He then tells me the following story as an example.

One day he suspected a married member of his church (woman) was having an affair with another person.  He told me he wasn't close to this couple, he just knew them from services and for some reason he suspected adultery on her part (I guess he must have cheating radar along with his gaydar).  Well, he approached the woman and told her of his suspicions.  He then informed her that if she didn't tell her husband of her indiscretions before the next service, he would be forced to tell him.  WHAT DID I JUST HEAR!  I repeated what he said (just so I made sure I understood correctly) and he said that is exactly correct and that is how/why adultery should be handled by the church.  Is that what god loving people do for members of their congregation?   WOW, I was waiting for him to add that if she did't tell her husband, they would be stoning her in the parking lot after coffee service on Sunday.

I saw where this was going and knew what I had to do; I had to drop the bomb of all bombs.  Something you never want to say to a god loving individual, but I knew it was necessary to make sure I was NEVER included again on his membership recruitment list.  I looked him straight in the eye and said, "I guess we will have to agree to disagree, I am an atheist and we don't play that way."   He looked at me for a couple of seconds and then turned back to his computer and continued working.

I think I may have successfully squashed this issue for good.  Now I  wonder if he will be speaking to me at all anymore.  I also wonder if anyone else will be joining "Team Atheist" in the future to get him to shut the F up about religion.  Don't worry fellow co-workers, there is always room on my "team."

Monday, February 17, 2020

Why Am I Even Surprised Anymore?

Welcome to Monday and another opportunity for me to start my week by shaking my head in disbelief.   Do you remember when I told you about the building we went to visit as a possible new home for The Nuthouse?  Well, it looks like The Boss really did have a meeting on Friday when he left in a huff; it seems he had the closing on the Hobbes Street property. When he arrived today he gathered us all together to tell inform us that we would soon be moving to a new location!  I think I will just call the Hobbes Street building The Nuthouse 2.0.

He also reminded us that his original timetable has not changed.  He expects to be moved and operational on March 1.  I instinctively raised my hand (I know, what the hell did I do that for) and asked how we were going to accomplish this with everyone leaving for the Vegas trade show.  He then uttered his classic line "I don't need an editorial" - which is code for I don't like what you are saying (BTW, he says this classic line quite often to me).  I know, I should be more understanding, it can be painful being faced with the reality of a difficult situation.  How dare I ask a pertinent and realistic question.  Shame on me, I promise, I'll do better next time!

He then stated we shouldn't be concerned because he has a plan (I swear, I think I could see his nose grow right before my eyes).  I had to put my hand toward my mouth to cover the grin that this insane statement brought out.  This man has never had a plan for ANYTHING, much less a plan for something with a deadline attached!  I have a feeling that this is going to be a disaster of monumental proportions!  I know my life is going to suck, but I actually am looking forward to the hilarity that is guaranteed to be associated with this move.  I guess is am a masochist - bring it on! Plus, I know you are all waiting for the stories - they are going to be classic!

After the meeting, I thought it might be prudent to begin packing the non-essentials.  You know, time is a ticking and March 1 will be here before we know it.  I asked The Boss when the moving boxes were going to be delivered.  He looked up at me (or should I say through me) and actually said the following..."what do we need boxes for?"  Yup, honestly this is what he said... I cannot make this s#*t up!

For those of you keeping track, I have now rolled my eyes (and huffed) a total of three times and it is only 9:00 AM.  It's going to be a looonng day!

Sunday, February 16, 2020

Question of the Day...

I follow @facts on Twitter.  They have random facts and information that in most cases I never knew or had heard of.  I'm not sure if everything is they post is true.  I like to think it makes me feel like I am learning something (remember, it's important to learn something every day 😀)

Well, when I got up this morning I read the following "fact" - it was actually more question than fact, but interesting and thought provoking none the less.

"If money didn't exist, would you still get up every morning and do what you do for a living?"

Wow, that's deep and it got me thinking.  Will I ever be in a position where I can do what I love and not care how much money it brings in each month?  I have many, many, many years until retirement and the thought of going through the motions just for a paycheck is a bit depressing.  It's not like I have an idea of what kind of job (with no $) would make me happy enough to continue to attend every day.

As it stands right now, I don't think I would be continuing to visit "The Nuthouse" without a paycheck attached.  Will that change someday?  At this rate, I don't think so, but you never know (always the optimist).  I'm sure many of you feel the same way about your jobs - I hope I'm not the only one!  I like to say that it wouldn't be called work if it was fun - it would be called a party!

Until next time!

Friday, February 14, 2020

I Would Have Lost That Bet!

Happy Valentine's Day to all!  Today is the day to purchase overpriced flowers, meals and having to say nice things about the person who puts up with all of your crap.  Well, that right there is a  Hallmark card if I have ever read one!

As you can probably tell from my jaded view of February 14th, I am single.  Being single is a wonderful thing most of the time, but on days like today it sometimes makes you feel like a bit of a failure.  Don't worry, by this time tomorrow all those sweet sentiments on Face Book will be back to "normal life" and everyone will be annoyed by their partners once again. The world will continue to spin.

Now, lets talk about the best gift I received today!  THE TRADE SHOW MATERIALS  ACTUALLY SHIPPED!  Do I need to write it again?  I know, I cannot believe it myself!  I saw it loaded on the truck and watched it drive away.  I can't remember the last time I was so pleased.  The Boss did his best to derail the train, but we all worked together, ignored his lunacy and were able to get the materials out the door.   We work pretty well together when we are working against a common enemy!  The truck drove away this afternoon and The Boss immediately had "a few more things that should have been added to the crate".  It didn't matter what he dribbled on about, nothing was going to bring me down from the high I felt of accomplishing the shipping task.  As hard as he tried to be a pain in my ass, after about the fifth time of mentioning items that should have went, I told him to pack them in his suitcase and bring them with him.  I don't think he appreciated my "suggestion", because soon after, he decided he had a meeting to attend and left for the day.

He was going to have to try a lot harder than that to ruin my day!  The crate is gone, the crate is gone - now we just need to get these "nuts" on a plane to Vegas.  Actually, just him; everyone else is nice, funny and not annoying.  I imagine the feeling once he is gone will be as close to a feeling of winning the lottery as I will ever encounter (damn, my life is sad).

Have a great weekend and enjoy your sweethearts while you can - tomorrow they will be annoying as f&#k again!  See you next week!

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Preparations For the Trade Show Are Moving Along

Today, my goal was to put the final touches on the contents being sent to Las Vegas for our upcoming trade show.  With an event this large, they allow exhibitors to ship their materials to a facility for holding, then the crates transported to the venue and are waiting in your booth space for set up.  This way, we are assured that our materials arrive in time and don't encounter shipping problems or weather related issues (we just love winter in the Northeast).  The last thing we need is to ship the materials at a later date and have to send them directly to the venue.  It's more expensive and just allows for a bigger chance for things to go wrong.  Considering where I work, we don't need any help in things going wrong!

I took an inventory of what we have ready and we look in much better shape than I had expected.  The samples look good; Wayne was able to still operate pretty well with one hand (remember - the burning palm incident) and with help from Alex, was able to put out some quality work.    I think they will both be my "sample men" from now on.  I can comfortably cross "samples" off my list!

The booth itself is turning into a bit of a clusterf#ck.  We are still awaiting panels from the printing company.  No, it's not that the printing company is incompetent, The Boss couldn't make up his mind to exactly what he wanted to "convey" on the panels, so the order went in much later than I would have wanted.   They should be here tomorrow (fingers crossed).  Hopefully, they arrive and are perfect! If not, I am sorry to say, they will have to go in that crate anyway!

We have ordered electric, carpeting, tables, chairs and plants for the booth.  Whomever owns the companies that provide these services must be crazy rich - the rental costs for these items are just UNBELIEVABLE!  I know you will not be surprised to hear, but we missed the early bird rates due to waffling by our fearless leader (there is always next year).

Adam almost has the crate construction completed and we should be able to fit everything in.  My goal is shipment on 2/14 (Happy Valentines Day) - we'll see how that deadline works out.  I am beginning to think this may come together.  I don't want to say it out loud and jinx myself, but I can still think (and hope) it.

Everyone is looking forward to the trip.  Although it will be long days, the salespeople want to increase their customer base (more commissions) and being in Vegas after the day is done isn't the worst place to be.  I am just looking forward to some peace and quiet. Being able to catch up on some things that have fallen by the wayside is a just bonus for me.

I will let you know if we make my self-appointed shipment deadline - send some good thoughts my way!

PS - Another thing that will not surprise those who have been following my plight.  The Boss still hasn't confirmed a hotel room for the Vegas event.  It's looking more and more like he will be bunking with someone from the office.  Who will draw the short straw....tune in to see who our lucky winner will be!

Monday, February 10, 2020

Now Someone is Monitoring His Email

I understand I have been very vague on the type of organization I am working for.  I have mentioned it is a manufacturing company, but nothing more.  This is not only to protect my identity, but also to protect the “cast of characters” that I work with.  Maybe, these people don’t realize they are insane and far be it from me to be the one who points it out to them.  Just be assured, this organization is manufacturing a very innocuous product that is very needed and useful, but not at all dangerous or top secret nor would it be considered interesting by anyone other than the purchasing customers.

That being said, in the great wisdom of my leader, he has informed me that his email is being intercepted because the organization has made sales to companies overseas (England, Canada, Pakistan, South Korea, UAE).  He has told me that the government intercepts the email correspondences he has with customers in these countries (as well as companies within the US) and he is fully expecting officials to contact him to discuss the particulars in greater detail.  Yup, he actually believes they could come walking through that door at any time.  That is if the guard shack has been notified and if they are able to find our nondescript door with no visible signage…..yup, be prepared, they will be here soon!

He arrived at this conclusion because he always requests a “read receipt” on his transmitted emails and doesn’t always receive them back as “read”.  I told him that maybe his email is deleted prior to the document even being opened.  His response, “god no, that couldn’t happen” (I guess he is convinced everyone wants to read the dribble he composes).  I also offered that maybe the recipient chose not to send the read receipt.  I told him that this is my normal practice if the option is presented to me.  He then stated, “I don’t need an editorial” – which I have heard him say numerous times when he doesn’t like or agree with what someone is saying.  By the end of the day, I was the proud recipient of my very own memo that stated the following,  “you must always check the read receipt option of any and all emails that you send”

On another note (which is a bit of TMI) – someone here has quite a robust flatulence problem.  Can someone say probiotics?

Thursday, February 6, 2020

Just Some Random Items Today

Hello followers of The Nuthouse!

Today's post is going to be a little different than the others.  A few strange and annoying things occurred at work today, but they are not really connected to one "big story".  So, I am going to give you a brief run down of the day in bullet form without any stories attached.  Lets be honest here, sometimes the run down is better than the story itself.  This is Thursday at the office.

  • I counted five times The Boss said the following statement - " I had to read them the riot act."  Now, you may wonder what that means exactly and you might even think that The Boss was having a bad day.  Nope, that statement means that he had to give someone all the particulars of a certain topic.  I'm not sure how that constitutes "the riot act," but if I could figure this man out I would be wealthy and living on an island right now.
  •  A woodpecker has been hanging around outside and today has started "pecking" at the metal building.  The Boss is totally obsessed with this, he goes in and out and in and out to see what the bird is doing.  By the end of the day he was exhausted from all the watching of this bird and declared that "the entire wildlife world is against him."  I'm not sure what other "run ins" The Boss has had with this bird, but they must have some crazy history for him to believe all wildlife is against him
  • Drew is fitting in nicely with the other crazies here.  No, he still doesn't have a phone, desk or computer, but that is besides the point!  Today he actually lost something he thought belonged to him.....his lunch!  The Boss ate Drew's sandwich today!  It wasn't like he just ate the wrong sandwich - The Boss didn't even bring a sandwich into the office. Drew didn't say anything, he just went out for lunch.
  • The lens fell out of The Boss' reading glasses today (he has a habit of throwing them around) and he continued to use them, complaining each and every time he put them on.  By the end of day, three employees had suggested he leave to get them fixed.
  • I still don't think The Boss knows the difference between accounts payable (A/P) and accounts receivable (A/R).  I continue to have a good eye roll at this one!
Well, I hope you enjoyed a peek into my world today.  Although I did not have an actual "story" to tell, I think these will hold you over until next time.

Have a great evening!

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

Field Trip To Look At A New Building

As you know, my entire tenure in The Nuthouse has been in a warehouse rental space.  The Boss has recently been hyper-focused on our need to purchase a building because we have outgrown the space we are renting.  I guess the fact that we hired a new salesperson who doesn’t have a telephone, desk or computer doesn’t matter right now.  Lets find a building!

We loaded the office staff into the company vehicle and the warehouse crew took Adams' car and we all went to see a building today.  I know, we were scheduled to take this field trip yesterday, but The Boss had something come up and the trip was rescheduled for today.  If I could be perfectly honest, after my fiasco with the beeping smoke detector yesterday, my whole day seemed off, so it didn't break my heart that we didn't go.  

Now, let us discuss the building we saw today.  It is located in a different town and although looks to be a greater distance for me to drive, it will be easier to get to.  I count this as a win - I don't mind being in my car a bit longer if I am constantly moving.  Traveling to and from our current location entails many lights as well as stop and go traffic which can be very annoying at times.

The building itself is located waaayyyy back in the woods.  The road (if you can call it that) to get there is unpaved and has potholes that could easily swallow an 18-wheeler.  The trees and weeds are so overgrown along the "road" and there are no street lights or other people around.  This area would be a great place for someone to disappear and live off the grid, but I will keep an open mind.

There is a good-sized parking lot (much larger than we currently have) and more than enough room for staff and trucks to come and go.  There is a long concrete walk up to the front door and the outside of the building seems to be in good shape.  From the outside, this place looks promising, all that is needed is some landscaping help - lots of help!

As I enter the building, I see a small storage area with sink, a large middle room that has an extremely big display case /walk up counter taking up most of the room.  There are two offices directly off the middle room and a door that leads to large warehouse area.  Then I see it! The best sight I have ever envisioned!  I can only imagine it is the same feeling a person in the desert would get when they finally stumble upon a water source.  What did I see, you ask -  I am looking at both a men’s and women’s bathroom!    I open the men's room door and lo and behold it wonderful, clean and doesn't look like multiple murders occurred there (as our current facilities do).  I don’t need to see another thing – THIS PLACE ROCKS!  If I didn’t know better, I think my bladder was smiling right now.

He asks for our opinions and what we think would need to be accomplished for us to be comfortable here.  We each had a few comments, but nothing ridiculous or too difficult to do.  The only thing that may be an issue is for the time being there will be a few of us sharing the middle room and The Boss wants to keep the behemoth display counter that is there.  He really likes it!   I don't know how he believes there will be enough room for people, desks and this monstrosity!  He is really adamant about this this, but it is not worth arguing about right now.

As we are closing up and walking to the cars The Boss has a surprise announcement.  He has already decided to purchase the building and started the paperwork.  He has also informed us that we will be moving in on March 1st.

When I hear this information, my brain kicks into gear.  Isn't March 1st  right after everyone returns from a week long trade show in Vegas?  How is that going to work?  We REALLY have to get rid of that fricken display counter sooner rather than later - before he starts to focus on it and gets really "attached" to it.   Well, this is The Nuthouse!

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Could The Nuthouse Be Rubbing Off On Me?

I'm beginning to think I have starting taking my job home with me.  No, not real work related stuff - just the craziness that surrounds me each day in that place.  Let me explain.

Scene Opens - dark apartment, man snoring softly, still feeling the effects of the NyQuil cocktail he consumed before bed, dog sleeping soundly at the foot of the bed.  Everything seems perfect in the world.

Clock ticks to 4:56 AM ..beep...howl.....beep...howl.....beep...howl.  As I quickly clear the cobwebs from my over the counter, drug induced coma, I realize that this is a harsh reminder that I did not change the batteries in my smoke detector a couple of months ago. 

Damn you smoke detector, couldn't you have "reminded" me on a Saturday afternoon around 2ish?  What is with this 5 AM crap!  The dog continues to howl each time the shrill beeping occurs (which is approximately every five seconds) and I know I have to change this battery before he wakes EVERYONE in the neighborhood.

Oh, I forgot to tell you the most important part of the story.  Yes wise ass, I have a replacement battery! I had intended on making the change a few months ago when I changed the clocks for daylight saving time (or the other one - whichever one we do when it is cold outside).  See, the important fact I forgot to mention is that my ceilings are nine feet and I don't own a ladder.  Stop laughing you sickos - so, this task has just added an extra layer of interesting.

As the dog continues to howl every five seconds, I begin to play what I affectionately call "Home Interior Jenga".  This fun or all ages game involves dragging items across the apartment floor to the area of the detector and stacking them thus allowing me access to the nine foot ceiling.  Now remember, I am still feeling some of the effects of my cold and the NyQuil I took last night, so this is going to be REALLY fun!  I drag the kitchen table over and add the ottoman on top; with a bit of stretching (I really need to start doing yoga), I am able to access the panel, replace the depleted battery and make my world quiet again.  I'm sure the neighbors are quite pleased with the canine alarm clock they had this morning.  Nice to know I continue to make friends wherever I go!

Well, that really got the blood pumping this morning.  I am up now; I might as well get an early start on the day.  My real alarm is scheduled to go off in approximately one hour. 

Good Morning World!

Monday, February 3, 2020

Patient Zero Has Returned!

I'm happy to say that I am alive and feeling much better!  So much so, that I returned to The Nuthouse this morning and wasn't even dreading it (I know, maybe I am still running a fever).  To be honest, I was more than ready to escape from the four walls of my apartment; having been sick since Wednesday night, I am actually quite happy to be anywhere other than there!

When I arrived this morning everyone was very nice, asking how I was feeling, etc.  They may be crazy, but everyone here is genuinely kind.  I made my way to my desk and stuck my head into The Boss' office to say hello and tell him that I was back.   He turned his chair around toward the door and I could have swore I physically saw him back away.  He said he was glad to hear I was feeling better and questioned if I should have taken one more day, just to be safe.  I assured him that I was perfectly fine and thanked him again for being so kindhearted by giving me an extra day to recover.  As I turned to leave his office, I couldn't believe what I saw on his of those white surgical masks that everyone in China is currently wearing to hopefully quell the spread of the coronavirius.  My god!  It was a freakin' cold!  I'm better now!  I did not/do not have the coronvirius!  #hypochondriac

I am happy to report that some traction was made on getting materials together for the upcoming trade show.  Mike, Rachel and Drew must have come to the realization that they were going to be standing in a 10' x 20' space without any materials if they were going to waiting for The Boss to make decisions.  There is actually a staging area in the warehouse where items are being gathered for the  shipment to Vegas.  I think am beginning to see light at the end of this tunnel (and this time, I do not think it is a train) - this event might actually yield some positive results!  Did I mention I a positively tickled that they all will be leaving soon!

My day ended with The Boss telling us not to bring anything for lunch tomorrow.  We are going to on "field trip" to see one of the final contenders in the search for a new company home.  He wants us to see it and give our impressions.  Hey, as I have said before, if it has a clean bathroom my bladder and I am in!  I can be ready to move in three hours or less!

Saturday, February 1, 2020

Just Call Me The Little Engine That Could....

I am happy to report that I am still among the living!  I am feeling a bit better after not leaving my bed on Thursday, Friday (big shout of to The Boss for the extra day to recover) and a large portion of this morning.

This afternoon I was actually hungry and wanted to eat (it's the little things)!  I am going to continue to rest, but it is my plan to be back at the Nuthouse bright and early Monday morning.  I think if I were to take any additional days off, "The Boss" might contact the CDC to tell them of his hypothesis -  I have contracted the coronavirus.  I definitely need to show my face to prove I just am a boring individual with the common cold.

Talk soon....