Tuesday, September 22, 2020

We Paid Dearly For Yesterday's Normalcy!

Welcome to another Tuesday at The Nuthouse!  Yesterday was a weird day; we were busier than usual for a Monday and nothing too strange or annoying occurred.  It would be what a normal worker, in a normal office would consider just a normal day.  As you know, we are not normal and today, we paid dearly for yesterday's normalcy.

Our morning started off like any other; The Boss was making coffee - today he only stepped back from the carafe twice (click here to read how coffee is made in The Nuthouse) and everyone else was busy taking care of their own workloads.  As the morning drags on, the front door opens and a man enters the office.  He caught my eye first and I asked if I could help him.  He introduced himself as Brian, said he owned the shop down the road and asked if The Boss was available.  It didn't register immediately, but within a split second, I realized this was our neighbor from across the pond.  I immediately concluded what he wanted to speak with The Boss about - the visit from the police last week (click here for a refresher on what happened last week).  The Boss was not in his office (he was on one of his many jaunts to the warehouse), so I said I would get him.  I called out to the warehouse and asked him to come into the office because he had a visitor.  No, I didn't say who it was - I know I am an awful person, I just wanted to see what happened.

The Boss traversed the parking lot and came in the front door and immediately was face-to-face with the neighbor he had reported to the police last week.  I have to admit, I almost felt bad for him when I saw the shock on his face when he saw Brian standing there.  He clearly knew who Brian was and stuttered a bit as he asked him to come into his office. I didn't hear what transpired between the two of them, but I could tell from the voice levels that Brian wasn't a very happy camper.  I did hear The Boss say "protected land" on more than one occasion, which I believe only angered Brian more. After about ten minutes, Brian left and The Boss had absolutely nothing to say about the visit.  He did tell the staff that if "that man visits again to say he is not in the office".  Hilarious!  What did he think would happen when you sent the police knocking at his door?  God, he is an idiot!

It took a while for The Boss to calm down from his "visit" with Brian.  In his defense, he REALLY doesn't do well with confrontation.  Around 1 PM he started acting more like himself; he was leaving his office again (and going into the warehouse) and making trips back and forth to the kitchen - all was back to "Nuthouse Normal".   Then the shit really hit the fan!

Around 3 PM the front door opens and you will never guess who walked in.   That's right - our ex-employee, John (click here to read how John became an ex-employee)!  Now, at the same time, The Boss was in the kitchen (which is directly near the front door) and once John started to speak, I actually watched The Boss retreat deeper into the kitchen - almost hiding.  We all said hello and I asked why he was here.  He quickly said he came to pick up his stuff (I wonder if he remembered he had printed out porno and was concerned we would find it).  I told him that his stuff was sent to him via UPS last week and he should have received it on Thursday.  He said he didn't receive it (I don't know if I believe that) and he was in the area (now, I definitely don't believe that).  He then asked if The Boss was around.  I thought for a split second to throw The Boss to the wolves and say he was in the kitchen, but something in me felt bad for the guy.  I didn't think he could handle two confrontations in one day, much less one from someone I think he was concerned might hurt him.  So, I was the bigger person and said The Boss was not currently in the office.  I offered to give him a message or suggested that he phone later today.  John didn't seem interested in either option and again said, he was just in the area and that it was nothing important.  He then said goodbye, turned around and left.

As we watched him driving off, The Boss emerged from the kitchen and he couldn't fake that he was hiding in there from John.  He laughed it off and thanked me for saying he wasn't in the office.  He also commented that we had to get some new candidates for that position because he thought that John might be sniffing around for his old job.  I immediately thought, there is no way in hell that weirdo is coming back to The Nuthouse!  I made a mental note to add it to my to-do-list for first thing tomorrow.

The moral of the story Nutties is to not take a "normal" day for granted; we did and see what happened!  Until next time - have a great night!

Thursday, September 17, 2020

The Boss Is NOT a Good Neighbor!


Just when I thought The Boss can't get any worse, he really steps up and surprises me yet again!  Let me give you a bit of background info.  When we moved to the Hobbes Street property, The Boss told us that we were located in a "protected" area of our county.  At the time (and right now too), I'm not really sure what that means, but today I discovered "protected" means that if he doesn't appreciate what the neighbor across our small pond is doing, you have the right to call the police and report them.

We have a neighbor across the pond (yes, it's an actual pond - I'm not referring to England) that has some sort of business.  I don't know what they do, and I actually don't really care - and it's not pertinent to the story.  Well, this neighbor has started some sort of expansion project.  It is difficult to see exactly what is going on because all the leaves are on the trees, but we can hear them working.  Over the past couple of weeks, The Boss has become strangely preoccupied with the work going on over there.  He has "stopped in" twice and has said he drives there over the weekend (when they are closed) to check out what is going on.  Maybe we should start referring to The Boss as "John" because he is a bit stalker-ish!

We knew it was bound to happen at some point; today The Boss came in with a total fire in his pants about the neighbor and his expansion.  He complained three times before lunch that he couldn't concentrate or get any work done because of "all the noise" (sure, that is why he cannot get any work done).  He then proceeded to go outside numerous times, standing on the edge of the pond trying to determine what was going on with the neighbor.  As I mentioned he couldn't see much because of the full foliage on the trees.  By 3 PM, I guess he couldn't take it anymore!  He started roaming around the office and warehouse bitching about the noise and the fact that the land is "protected."  His constant  bitching worked himself into such a tizzy that he ended up phoning the police.  Yup, he actually phoned the police because the neighbor was working outside!  I heard him on the phone (I did not hear what the police said) stating on more than one occasion that they should come and investigate because the land is "protected."  Lord help us, now the police department knows we are The Nuthouse.

Around 4:30 PM in drives a police cruiser.  An officer walks into the office and requests to speak with The Boss.  The Boss comes running out of his office like a kid on Christmas morning.  He leads the officer outside to the pond edge and I see a lot of finger pointing being done by The Boss.  The Boss returns to the office alone and he seems quite pleased with himself.  Drew asked him what was going on and The Boss proudly reported that the officer was going over to the neighbors to have a talk with him.

As if it wasn't enough that have weirdo John to worry about (yes, The Boss is still worried about him), but now The Boss has pissed off the neighbor.  We are gaining quite a reputation around here!  Good times....good times!

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

It Looks Like The Nuthouse Is Down a Nut


After everyone arrived this morning, The Boss called a staff meeting and asked everyone to come into the conference room (see, I knew we needed this room for something).  After everyone settled in, he said that John had phoned him at home last evening and after some discussion it was "mutually decided" that John would no longer be employed by The Nuthouse.  

I cannot say that anyone was completely surprised by these turn of events.  After storming out of the office in the early afternoon on Friday and not showing up for work yesterday; we all knew something was going to happen.  According to The Boss, John said he didn't feel he was a good fit here and wanted to leave on good terms (too late for that).  The Boss said that he seemed a bit irrational when they spoke - saying that most of the employees were "out to get him" and he just didn't think he could make it work here any longer.  Funny, he didn't mention that he was unable to perform the main task that he was hired for, but I guess that must have slipped his mind.

The Boss said that we would be mailing him any personal effects that were left in/on his desk so he didn't have to come back to the office.  I think The Boss is concerned that John might still be holding a grudge against him.  Come to think of it, it sounds like John has a bone to pick with everyone here; it might be better for everyone if we never see that weirdo again. The Boss gave me the wonderful task of cleaning out his desk and boxing up his personal items for UPS.  He also requested that I make plans to place an ad for a replacement.  

As yesterday, John was the major topic of conversation.  It's amazing how much fodder can be found in office politics and when the participant is a crazy weirdo, it's an even hotter topic.  After lunch, I went into the warehouse to box up John's items (there were only a few) and I also made sure there were no pending items he was working on.  As I was going through the papers on his desk, I found some strange items.  First, it looks like he did quite a lot of shopping online when he was working at The Nuthouse.  I guess you can't judge someone by their purchases, but there was some strange stuff.  What you can judge a person by is when they visit  and print material from porno sites during the workday.  Yup, that's right, I found many nude pictures printed from our color printer in his desk.

Now, I will not subject you to the gory details, but suffice to say our technical representative/drafts person had some strange porno preferences.  Just when you think The Nuthouse couldn't get any stranger -  BAM! you find porno printed out in an employees desk.  Good riddance Nutjob - you give us "normal" Nutties a bad name!

Until next time and remember - don't print porno at work; it isn't fair for the poor sucker who has to clear out your desk when you leave.

Monday, September 14, 2020

Drew Had An Interesting Encounter...

I arrived this morning to a voicemail from John saying he would not be in and was taking a "re-charge" day today.  I don't know about you, but clearly with all of the recharging he needs to do, maybe he should change to Energizer batteries.  As I announced to the staff that John would not be in, Drew laughed and said he had a story to tell.

As you remember, John and The Boss had a bit of a "dust up" on Friday (click here to refresh your memory) and John left the building and did not return.  Well, we now know where he went....Drew's house!  

Drew's story began when he arrived home on Friday afternoon; he pulled in his driveway, saw a car sitting there and quickly realized it belonged to John.  Drew said as soon as John saw him pull in, he immediately got out of his car and had a six pack of beer with him. Drew parked his truck, got out and asked John what he was doing at his home and how did he know where he lived.  John laughed and said, "don't worry, I'm not stalking you - I found it on the internet."  As Drew is telling this story,  I was as surprised and shocked as everyone else.  I always thought John was a weirdo, but I never thought he would search for someones house on the internet and just show up.  Then again, he did just show up at The Nuthouse before (click here for story)  

Drew said he thought it was strange and he wasn't too worried, but he kept the visit outside just to be safe.  They sat at a picnic table and John started ranting about how poorly he was being treated at the office.  He told Drew how nasty The Boss was to him and how much he was yelling at him (for the record, the only yelling we heard was from John toward The Boss).  John continued to drink the beer he brought and complain about The Nuthouse and the employees;  for example, I didn't take fact that his chair hurt his back seriously enough and Rachael wasn't always as nice to him like she is to others. He also said he didn't understand why everyone needed drawings so quickly.  I guess, according to John a small CAD drawing produced in one week is normal and why would anyone expect it sooner than that.

Drew said he listened to him and didn't say very much because he didn't want to get him any more worked up.  After about two hours of complaining, Drew said that he had an appointment he had to get to and maybe John should go.  Drew then got up from the picnic table and walked John to his car.  When Drew said he would see John on Monday, John just laughed and said that he didn't think so.

The Boss was listening to the story intently and after Drew was done, he questioned if Drew thought John had a "real issue" with him.  I think The Boss is afraid John may go postal on him.  Drew told The Boss that John was just blowing off steam and is more talk than bite and not to worry (easier said than done for The Boss).  Next thing I know, I hear The Boss on the phone to his wife telling her to look out for a blue car around the house.

As you imagine, Drew's story and conversations about John encompassed the entire day.  It was interesting to have someone else to discuss other than The Boss for a change.  I'm not sure if we will be graced with Johns' presence tomorrow, but if he is here, I'm sure The Boss will make sure he is not alone in a room with him.

Interesting stuff indeed!  Until tomorrow Nutties!

Friday, September 11, 2020

How Fitting...A Shitty End To a Shitty Week!


As if this short week couldn't get any longer or shittier; I arrived this morning to find Frick floating belly up in his tank (click here for a Frick and Frack story).  I am well aware that fish don't live forever, but I have the sneaking suspicion that The Boss might have had something to do with Frick's, earlier than expected, demise (click here for story).  Of course, I cannot prove anything, but I hope he realizes I am keeping my eye on Frack - keep away from my fish you crazy bastard!  Even my co-workers were sad about our mascot - these two crazy fish were sadly, the most normal things in The Nuthouse.  Next week can only be better....right?

Update on The Boss' drawing - it is still MIA!  Yes, I am laughing on the inside about it - I know, I am an awful person.  The Boss called John into his office for a "quick talk" today.  I am not exactly sure what was said, but if I were a betting man I would say it was concerning the turnaround times on requested drawings.  The conversation became a bit heated (on John's end) and it seemed that John didn't quite appreciate the topic of the The Boss' talk.  He stormed out of not only The Boss' office, but also the building and we didn't see him again for the rest of the day (oh, darn).  The Boss didn't have much to say about it when people asked but at the same time, he didn't seem too concerned.  It will be interesting to see how this plays out.  You know my thoughts on that weirdo!

I am happy to say that this short week is finally over.  I am looking forward to spending the weekend with my two furry boyz and attempting to recover from the longest short week ever!  Until next week Nutties!

RIP Frick - may you swim forever in crystal clear seas!  

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Why Do Short Weeks Always Seem Like the Longest Weeks?


I cannot explain why, but I'll say it - I hate short weeks!  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy having a Monday off just as much as the next guy, but I think the days following that Monday off seem like they are each two weeks long!  It is only Wednesday and I truly feel this week should have been over yesterday - morning! 

This being a short week as well as having The Boss back from vacation has been quite a lot to deal with.  The Boss came in today and immediately decided he needed coffee to get his motor started.  As we have previously discussed, of course, he doesn't make coffee like a normal person (click here for how coffee is made).  If you can believe it, coffee making this morning was even more annoying than usual.  The Boss filled, stepped back and dumped water from the carafe a total of four times this morning.  Picture it - water in the carafe, step back to see the water level, then take some water out, step back again and then realize too much water was taken out - now more has to be added.  After the fourth time, he finally decided that he had the proper amount of water and he felt comfortable proceeding to adding the coffee grounds.  All this for a cup of coffee.  I may not drink coffee, but even if I did, I would have to question if that process was worth the final result.

I heard from Drew that The Boss requested a simple drawing from John on Tuesday morning.  I think the The Boss assumed he would have the drawing on the same day (you know what they say happens when you assume).  As you can imagine, the drawing was not presented yesterday and as a matter of fact, he didn't receive the drawing today either.  Now that John's incompetence is affecting The Boss directly, the world has stopped spinning.  The Boss has spent the entire morning questioning everyone about how has it been working with John and if John has been able to provide drawings in a timely manner. The Boss ended the day telling everyone that he might have to have a discussion with John if he doesn't get the drawing tomorrow morning.

As if today couldn't get any more annoying - The Boss has decided that he needs to mow the lawn.  So, out comes the respirator mask, the gloves, goggles and his special safety suit.  I swear, if this week doesn't end soon, I may need one of those re-charge days that John requested recently.  The Boss got all of his "gear" on, went outside and then had difficulty starting the mower.  After a few attempts, he asked one of the guys from the warehouse to help.  Alex came out and successfully started the machine and The Boss was on his way.  Next thing I know, three minutes has passed and The Boss is back in the office and has to use the restroom...he now has to take EVERYTHING off to use the facilities.  So, he is taking off all the protective clothing and equipment and, of course, has to fold them neatly, etc.  I actually thought I was going to scream out loud.  It took all the strength in my body not to say, can't you just piss and get it over with!  Into the bathroom he goes and in ten seconds (no exaggeration) he is back out putting that stupid shit back on.  Serenity Now, Serenity Now!

The day ended much as it had begun - I was annoyed and I couldn't believe it was only Wednesday.  Only two more days Nutties, two more days!

Monday, September 7, 2020

Sorry I'm Late - My Weeks End Was Hell!


You know what they say about good intentions! Well, I had all intentions of letting you in on how our week ended at The Nuthouse sans The Boss, but my messed up life somehow got in the way.  Let us use the "way back" machine to take you back to my post on Wednesday.  Remember...we had a great day - The Boss didn't call and the world was spinning perfectly!

Fast forward to Thursday; The Boss had clearly broken free from his captor (his wife) and called us seven...yes, seven times!  After call number one (first thing in the morning, might I add), all subsequent calls were for ridiculous reasons.  Sometimes I think he just phones to see at what point he drives us to the brink of insanity. By days end, we were all done with Thursday and looking forward to having another Boss free day on Friday.  You know what they say about being careful what you wish for....

When I arrived on Friday morning, I thought I was first in the office, but I was wrong.  I walked in and what did my unbelieving eyes see.....The Boss, sitting in his office.  I really thought (hoped) I was seeing things and at the same time felt so defeated I thought I was going to weep.  Why would he come in on a Friday?  Why does he hate us so much?  Did his wife get as annoyed with him as we do and cut their vacation short?  Is he going to be here all day? Why, why, why?

When I inquired if everything was okay and wondered why he was back from his vacation early, he said it was always his plan to come in on Friday and then he inferred that he had told me this information prior to his departure.  Nooooo, he never said he was coming back early, much less coming in on Friday - I clearly would remember news like that!  It was so sad; as each Nuthouse employee arrived for work, I watched the realization of The Boss' presence register on their faces.  Some of them looked even closer to tears then I was.  As you can imagine, the rest of the day was annoying, long and tedious.  Add that to the fact that we all were still quite shell shocked by his attendance.

As if my Friday couldn't get any shittier, on my way home I stopped at Lowes to pick up a battery operated leaf blower for my small yard.  I ordered it online during lunch and choose curbside pickup.  Cooper has a habit of eating tree debris on the ground and I thought this purchase might help stop him from consuming and regurgitating said debris on my rug.  Lowes is about half an hour from my home, but only a short jaunt from work, so I picked up my purchase on the way home.  I also stopped at the grocery store, the drug store  and picked up pizza for dinner. I arrived home a little after 8 PM with my haul.  I ate some pizza and then decided to open the blower up so I could use it first thing in the morning.

Here is where the day gets even shittier - you didn't think that was possible - did you?  To be honest, I didn't think it could it either, but clearly I was wrong.  I broke open the box that was put in my trunk at curbside pickup and the fricken box was empty.  Well, it wasn't exactly empty - it contained the battery and the charger..just no actual blower.  I too am now questioning what have I done in a past life to deserve this today?  I also realize that Lowes is now closed, so I cannot call them.  I also discover that I am out of beer and I could really use a beer right now.  I decided to eat some more pizza and go to bed - maybe if I sleep the shittiness of the day will stop piling up.

First thing Saturday morning, instead of blowing the yard clean, I am in my car traveling to Lowes to find out where the hell my blower is.  When I arrive, of course, the return line is out the door.  I finally get to the front of the line and tell the girl my story and she looks at the box and dumbly (like it was my fault) says "of course there is no blower in there, this box says display".  I then kindly tell her that maybe she should inform her product pickers to not choose the display box when picking items for curbside pickup.  Maybe, on second thought, the empty display box shouldn't even be with the boxes that customers might purchase.  She looks at me like I have spoken to her in Klingon, turns around and walks away.  Now, I know I am going to sound like an 80 year old man when I say this, but I am very concerned for the future of our planet.  These young people (not all, but most) are USELESS!  After waiting in line and talking to the most helpful customer service representative (yes, that is sarcasm).  I wasted over one hour, but was leaving the store with all three components of my purchase (yippee).

I arrived back home and cleaned up the yard for Cooper.  Yes, he still was able to find crap to eat, but not nearly as much as he usually does and no one threw up on any rugs.  There might be hope for this long weekend yet.

Enjoy your Labor Day Nutties!

Wednesday, September 2, 2020

It's Wednesday and It's Wonderful!


It's Wednesday and it's wonderful here in The Nuthouse!  If I remember correctly, I do not think I have ever used the word "wonderful' when describing The Nuthouse - today that changed!  As you know, The Boss is away on vacation and his wife has given the edict that he cannot call the office.  Although, he broke protocol and phoned us from what I can only imagine was a dark closet on Monday.  Since then, we have not heard from him; I guess we know who wears the pants in that family. God bless her and her rules - she is my new favorite person!

Without having to answer the usual hourly calls when The Boss is away, has allowed everyone to get a ton of work done.  I no longer have a pile of paperwork that needs filing, billing has been completed and I even made some collection calls today.  Whew!  It is exhausting to get so much accomplished by Wednesday.

Orders continue to pour in and the warehouse staff, without the "assistance" of The Boss has been getting them out the door in record time.  Even they have commented that they feel more productive without him around "checking in" with them a dozen times a day.  Some of the sales staff will be conducting a training seminar in a customers office in a few weeks, so Wayne has been busy working on some product samples for them to take with them.  I am happy to say, he continues to be accident free.  Maybe we should purchase a blackboard where we can document each day without an accident.  I'll have to see if there is a prominent spot in the warehouse where we can hang it.  I'm sure The Boss will not find the same amount of humor that I do in that purchase.

I had to take Milo to the vet yesterday for his yearly check up.  He sang quite a tune all the way to the office; by the time we arrived I really needed an Advil!  All went well, but I still think he is holding the trip against me.  When we arrived home all Cooper was interested in was smelling him.  As you can imagine, this increased interest from Cooper did not make Milo happy.  This morning when I put my shoes on to leave for work, Milo ran like the wind.  I wonder if he was thinking  I was coming for him again.  Don't worry Milo, unless something unexpected comes up, you are good for a whole year!

John has spent a great deal of time away from his desk and talking with Drew this week.  This means he is closer to me.  Did I mention that his voice annoys me?  I'm sure I did, but I wanted to make sure you knew it.  I would have thought John would have spent this time brushing up on his CAD skills which seem to be a bit slim, but who am I to judge.

Well, tomorrow is Thursday and I know that The Boss will break away from his captor long enough to call us.  I wonder how he is handling not phoning the office a dozen times a day.  I can picture him shaking like an alcoholic that has gone a bit too long without hitting the hooch. Between his DT's and his general annoying personality, his wife must be having a blast on vacation.

Until tomorrow!  

Monday, August 31, 2020

While The Boss Is Away....Work Gets Done!

Welcome to another Monday Nutties!  I have to admit, getting up today was not my typical Monday fare.  I did not sit on the edge of my bed wondering why and how I got here.  I did not stare aimlessly into my cereal bowl contemplating if there was time to call in sick for the day and not once during my commute, did I consider turning around and going back home.  Why am I in such high spirits you ask?  The answer is simple - The Boss is on vacation this week! This week promises to be pleasant, not insane and we might actually accomplish some work too!!!

When I arrived this morning, I immediately knew it was going to be a good day.  Traffic was light and Dunkin Donuts was not busy at all when I stopped to get donuts for The Nuthouse.  Of course, when The Boss is away, everyone makes sure they show up (and on time).  Even John, who felt he needed Friday off to re-charge came in.  He didn't really look re-charged to me, just annoying.  I really am having a difficult time warming up to this guy; he really bothers every fabric of my being - even his breathing annoys!

We spent some time catching up with each other and we all enjoyed donuts for breakfast.  Now that we were all high on sugar it was time to begin the day.  Monday mornings are usually fairly busy and today was no exception.  We got a couple of good sized orders and a call from a happy customer who received their materials on Saturday morning, just as they requested.  They are not going to like that Saturday delivery charge by the trucking company, but they said they needed it and money was no object.

We had lunch delivered in and we christened the conference room.  I'm sure The Boss would not appreciate the first "meeting" in his new conference room to be a lunch meeting of The Nuthouse, but what he doesn't know will not hurt him.  Anyway, I still cannot imagine the conference room being used for much more than a glorified lunch room - but what do I know?

About 2 PM Adam made the trek from the warehouse, through the parking lot to come into the office and he asked if we had heard from The Boss.  Now, I don't know if anyone remembers the film, Beetle Juice, but one thing I learned from that movie is you don't say someones name three times out loud or they will appear.  This very well may have been the third mention of The Boss today because Alex had no more than gotten the question out of his mouth and then the phone rang.  I bet you can guess who was on the other end...yup, The Boss.

The Boss seemed to be whispering into the phone a bit and I said I was having trouble hearing him.  He said he wasn't supposed to be calling (per his wife), but he knew he had to check in.  I updated him on the orders that arrived and what was going out the door today.  He seemed satisfied that everything was under control and he said he would try to call again tomorrow. Great, something to look forward to (sarcasm again)!

Our Monday ended, much as it had begun - everyone was smiling and looking forward to another Boss free day tomorrow.  I know he is on vacation, but I have to admit - this seems like a vacation for all of us.

Until tomorrow Nutties!

Friday, August 28, 2020

Week Ending News From The Nuthouse


I have been counting down all week for Friday and it is finally here!  This week as been a crazy one - poorly thought out conference rooms, parent issues, celebrations that drawings were completed and so much more.  I thought this week would NEVER end and figured now would be a good time to bring you up-to-date on all the goings on so we could finally put this week where it belongs...in a deep hole, never to be seen again.

Without our usual access to the warehouse (click here for conference room story), walking outside each and every time I (or anyone else) need to go out there has been just great (insert eye roll here). I really am adding to my step count each day and feel it was a wonderful idea to build it in such a f*cked up manner (are you sensing my sarcasm here?)  The Boss has decreased the number of times he visits the warehouse each day because of our new "configuration" and I even heard him complaining about it under his breath the other day.  I guess he doesn't appreciate having to leave an air conditioned office to go outside, where it is 90 degrees and 90% humidity to check on the status of an order.  Yup, I don't think he is appreciating the extra steps as much as I am (sarcasm again...sorry).

My parents thought their water and well problems were fixed, but they continue to have issues.  The repair guy was going to be back later today, so hopefully everything will be fixed by later tonight.  They went to have another COVID test (click here for previous story) to see if the test my Dad originally took was correctly tagged as positive.  Guess what - now the test came back negative and my Mom is negative too.  They are happy that the tests came back negative, but they have been told that they are still required to be under quarantine for two weeks.  Will this COVID crap ever end?  I am so tired of hearing about it, being ruled by it and having lives turned upside down because of it.  This winter, when talk usually turns to the flu, we will now have the flu and COVID.....good times!

John did not make it to work today.  I guess all his work on the drawing for Drew took a lot out of him (yup, sarcasm again).  He told The Boss yesterday that he needed a day off to recharge.  RECHARGE? the idiot just started working here - he now needs to "recharge."  I have a feeling he will not be long for this job.

I mentioned to Rachel the other day that we haven't had a Wayne injury in a while.  The Boss heard what I was saying and became a bit perturbed that I was making light of his past injuries.  I'm sorry, but Wayne injuries are hilarious!  He also told me not to jinx us and/or Wayne.  I think the warehouse staff goes out of their way to make sure Wayne steers clear of any potential danger (with Wayne in the house, anything can be categorized as potential danger) (click here for Wayne story) (click here for another Wayne story)

On a positive note, The Boss will be on vacation next week (click here for vacation story).  It will be nice to have him gone for a while.  He has not indicated where he is going, but he did say that he would not be calling us very often (hallelujah), because his wife wants him to concentrate on relaxing.  I know next week will be relaxing for me and the other members of The Nuthouse.  Never have I looked so forward to coming in on a Monday morning!

I don't have any big plans for the weekend; maybe a walk with Cooper and catching up on some TV.  I live a very interesting life, people!  I should probably get off my arse and do a workout or two - quarantine has not been kind and it is clearly reflected on the scale!  

Enjoy your weekend Nutties and I'll see you back here on Monday.  I can almost guarantee it will be a great day and wonderful week.  You know what they say - while The Boss is away, some actual work may get accomplished!

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

Hello, My Name Is Nutty Wone & My Parents Are Nuts!


Yes, I am well aware that this is not a forum similar to Alcoholics Anonymous, but I had to get it out in the open and off my chest.  My parents are nuts!

Today, my Mom phoned me (regular phone call, no FaceTime - click here to read our FaceTime fiasco) to inform me that they do not have water in their the house.  I was raised in an area where we didn't have city water and we had a well.  From what I can gather from my Mom, the pump may have burned out and they are waiting for a well repair man (I was as surprised as you that they exist) to call them back.  They have been out of water since Friday afternoon and she is getting quite annoyed with it.  Then she hits me with her next newsflash.

My Dad has eye surgery scheduled Thursday and over the weekend he had to have a COVID test as a prerequisite for the procedure.  This morning the phone rang and it was the Department of Health notifying him that he has tested positive for COVID.  He now has to quarantine for 10 days and my Mom must quarantine for 14 days.  I didn't understand her explanation for the difference in number of quarantine days, but I didn't pursue it further (I choose to pick my battles).  So, no surgery for him and they are now required to wear masks inside their home and stay 6' away from each other.  They were both told that an agency will be contacting them each day to to discuss their health and symptoms.  FYI - They both currently are exhibiting no symptoms and are feeling fine.  My Mom then tells me that she doesn't feel the need to discuss her aches and pains with strangers over the phone.  I told her they are just calling to inquire if either of them has developed a fever or cough, you know, COVID symptoms.  She then tells me I am wrong and they want to discuss all of their health issues.  My god, I feel badly for the poor sucker that will be phoning them each day.  I hope they have carved out some extra time for that call.

I asked if they would be okay for two weeks without going out for food, etc. and my Mom proclaims that she may have to go out to obtain cat food because she doesn't think she has enough for the duration of the quarantine.  When I told her that she should not go out (as the officials told her), she poo poo'd me and told me she would wear a mask.  All I could think was, Serenity Now!  Serenity Now!  (click here for another serenity now incident).  In the next breath, she tells me they are going someplace tomorrow to have another test done because she thinks my Dad's test was a false positive.  Clearly, if the numbers increase in her area of the country I will know why!

She then informs me that as my Dad was on the telephone (speaking to the Department of Health), she inadvertently grabs a bottle of water she thought was hers and took a long drink.  My Dad then finishes the call, tells her what he was told and grabs the bottle and walks away.  It was just then that she realized it wasn't actually her water she was drinking, but my father's.  Now she is super pissed at my Dad!  She drank his water, but for some reason (that I will not be able to convey), it is his fault.  When I laughed at her story, she said she did not understand why I was finding humor in her misery.  She told me that she constantly is telling my Dad to wash his hands when he arrives home from being out in the world.  She says he is always touching his face, etc. and she has informed him on more than one occasion that he is not going be happy until he kills the cat and her with the germs he brings home.

Yup, my name is Nutty Wone and my parents are nuts!

Monday, August 24, 2020

Our New Conference Room Is Almost Finished -- But That's Not the Whole Story!


Welcome to Monday Nutties!  The picture above says it all; it may not be pretty, but we made it to the finish line on a couple of outstanding items here in The Nuthouse!  Drew received and was able to send out the drawing that John has been working on for him (Yippee).  I have to admit, I thought this day would never come, but I am sure happy it did.  I am so tired of hearing about this damn drawing (where is it, when will it be done, did you get the latest changes, etc.). Now I just am not looking forward to the day that another drawing is needed.  Clearly our drafts man leaves a bit to be desired in the CAD department.

The other outstanding project is the all-important and so needed conference room (insert eye roll here).  The contractor and crew have been working very diligently on the project.  They must have been in over the weekend, because when I arrived this morning, I noticed all that was remaining was a coating of paint and the laying of the carpeting.  I must go back a bit, because I am not telling the whole story.  As the contractor and crew were working last week, I didn't see the addition of a door in the room to access the warehouse.  Remember, the room was built just past the main door from the office to the warehouse (click here to read story) and when I mentioned to The Boss that it would be strange to walk through the entire conference room to access the warehouse, he told me it wouldn't be a problem.  It now has become completely apparent why it will not be a problem - because there is NO DOOR TO ENTER THE DAMN WAREHOUSE!

Yup, you read that correctly!  We have lost access to the warehouse from the office because of this freakin' conference room.  In order to access the warehouse, we now must exit the building, walk across the parking lot and utilize the side door entrance.  This is the door that the truckers use to gain access.  WTF!  Who builds a square box inside a larger room and cuts off access to that main, larger room?  So now, to bring orders to the warehouse, I have to go outside!  Needless to say, the warehouse staff aren't very happy about this new development either.  In order to use the restroom, they have to leave the building, walk across the parking lot and come in the front/main entrance to use the facilities.  It isn't the most pleasant walk right now, because it is hot and humid outside, but what am I going to do in winter?  I am going to have to put a coat on to bring orders to the warehouse.  Wonderful!  I better be careful crossing the icy parking lot or I may end up flat on my arse!  If I was injured, could I collect workers compensation?  I would love to explain the reason for my injury.  Again, I say....WTF!

The Boss was quite proud of his almost completed conference room and was looking for accolades this morning.  No one else said anything about the missing f@cking door - so I did.  Do you know what this lunatic said - he actually told me that I (nor anyone else) needed to be in the warehouse, and he was confused as to why I was so bothered by the new room configuration.   Does this man have any clue on how this place operates every day?  He, himself, goes out into the warehouse at least a dozen times a day, for god sake!  Does he not realize that?  Does he plan on not going out there as often (yeah, right). Again, WTF!  

As The Boss is telling me how I don't need access to the warehouse - I look over at Rachael and she looks like she is going to explode from laughter.  I am happy to see that I am not the only one who thinks this whole thing insanity personified.  I now am wondering if the contractor asked about the lack of access to the warehouse or if he just blindly listed to this wind bag of a boss and built what the crazy man with the money asked for.

On a positive note, I guess I will be adding some steps each day to my Apple Watch count; but on second thought, according to the powers at be, I don't need to go into the warehouse.  Maybe we can add one of those old-fashioned air tubes to send the orders out to the warehouse.  I wonder if the contractor could do that for us.  I should inquire....

Until next time!  Tomorrow, I'll make sure I wear comfortable walking shoes!

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Call Off The Search Party; The Contractors Are No Longer Missing!

Between the heat, humidity and my allergies, yesterday was pretty much a bust!  I went home after work took some medication, turned down the air conditioner, snuggled up next to the two furry boys and slept the night away.  I woke up this morning bright eyed, bushy tailed and ready to take on the day.  I missed our interaction yesterday, please allow me to bring you up to speed.

On the last episode of Contractors of The Nuthouse, the contractor and crew had left for lunch on Monday afternoon and indicated they would return in one hour.  As you remember, they didn't return at all on Monday (click here for refresher).  Well, for those of you keeping track, they didn't return on Tuesday either!  To say The Boss was angry was an understatement.  You know how he has "ants in his pants" on a normal day - unable to sit at his desk for more than a few minutes without getting up and roaming around.  Well, he must have left his office and peered out the front door two dozen times before 11 AM yesterday.  As I watched him all I could think of was a dog waiting for his master to come home.  Finally, at 12 noon, I heard him on the phone with the contractor inquiring as to "where the hell" was he.  I didn't hear the excuse that was provided but I heard The Boss end with, "okay, see you tomorrow."  I knew I should have started that damn office pool!

Fast forward to this morning - as I arrived today, I couldn't help but laugh as I noticed the crew was not there yet.  I guess their business plan is to show up early on the first day and then after that everything goes to hell - gotta love contractors!  The contractor and a very abbreviated crew showed up around 9:30 AM like nothing happened and began work once again on the all-important conference room (thank god).

They didn't have the opportunity to leave for lunch today because The Boss had pizza brought in for everyone.  The Boss was really thinking today - provide them some food and maybe they will be forced to stay!  They thanked him for the pizza, ate and went back to work.  Around 4:30 PM they packed up and said they would see us in the morning (I noticed they didn't say which morning).  After they left, I did my normal walk through to see the progress (because I am that nosy).  The framing was finished and they had sheet rock affixed to  the outside of the structure (The Boss said didn't want to see framing in the warehouse).  They made nice progress today and everything seems to be back on track. Now, will they show up tomorrow or were they referring to a different morning arrival?  Only time will tell....

For those wondering, John is still working on that drawing for Drew.  In his defense, Drew has had a few additional changes, but according to Drew, it shouldn't take this long to obtain a drawing from a draftsman.  I heard Drew speaking with him today and he actually asked him if he was doing the drawing on the computer or carving it into a stone tablet.  Ha, ha, ha... I love it; that Drew is such a wise ass!  John said he will have it to him first thing in the morning.  I wonder if he means tomorrow or some other morning.  At the rate it is taking to complete this small drawing - who knows!

Have a great night Nutties!  See you in the morning (ha, ha)

Monday, August 17, 2020

Construction on The Nuthouse Conference Room Has Commenced!


Good morning everyone!  I hope you all had a wonderful and relaxing weekend.  My weekend was fairly uneventful.  I took Cooper for a long walk (I am now his hero), cleaned the house, watched some Netflix and just relaxed.  Then Sunday night around 7 PM, reality slapped me square in the face - I immediately realized my relaxing time was coming to an abrupt end and going back to The Nuthouse was just around the corner. Honestly, that was a sad and painful moment!

I was not first in the office this morning - that designation goes to the contractor and his crews who are building our much needed conference room (insert eye roll here) (click here to read about conference room).  When I arrived, most of the construction supplies had been brought in and by 8:30 AM saws and hammers were humming!  By 10 AM I had a headache and was tired of apologizing for the noise to the customers who made the mistake of calling into the office rather than sending an email.

The construction crew left the building around 12:30 PM for lunch and said they would be back in an hour.  After they left, my curiosity got the best of me and I had to see what they had accomplished so far.  Now, I have described that there is a single door leading to the warehouse from the large room we are all currently sitting in.  I opened the door to enter the warehouse and see where exactly the conference room was going to be.  That is when I walked directly into what will soon be The Nuthouse conference room.  The contractor has framed a square room emitting from the warehouse entry door.  Now, I am a bit confused...why would we build a conference room directly past the only door with access to the warehouse.  If I understand it correctly, we will now have to go through the warehouse entry door and then walk through the actual conference room and exit another door to gain access to the warehouse.  This doesn't seem like the most logical idea so, that means it fits here perfectly!

The Boss came into the warehouse while I was standing within the newly framed conference room and asked what I thought.  I said that I wasn't aware that it was going to be RIGHT off the door to the warehouse and I mentioned that it was going to be strange to have to walk through the new conference room to access the warehouse.  He said not to worry, it wouldn't be a problem.  I then inquired how long until it was totally framed and he said that portion should be done later this week.  All I could think was, thank goodness!   I have really needed/wanted this conference room for so long and have many appointments lined up for its use (insert bigger eye roll here).

It was kind of quiet for a Monday and 3 PM rolled around and guess what?  No one has seen or heard from the contractors since they left for lunch.  I think maybe a office pool concerning if/when they return may be in our future.

Stay tuned for the next installment of Contractors of The Nuthouse, it promises to be a great one!

Tuesday, August 11, 2020

Can 2020 Be Over Now?


Happy Tuesday Nutties!  I think this meme helps to convey my feelings for the past couple of days.  Although I may not subscribe to the beliefs of fortune tellers and tarot card readers, I really do think if I were to visit one, this bad boy would definitely show up on more than one card flip. 

Remember, I thought I needed some fresh ocean air and sunshine on my shoulders?  I spoke with some friends over the weekend and was able to determine a long weekend that would work for everyone.  I came in yesterday with the intent to speak with The Boss concerning getting these dates off as vacation.  Guess what, The Boss is going to be away at the same time and he thinks we both cannot be out of the office at the same time.   I understand his reasoning, but it still sucks.  He might be a pain in the arse, but he has been beyond generous during the quarantine and with everything else...so guess who is not going to the beach.  2020 cannot end soon enough for me!  BTW - I did not ask where he was going, but I wonder if it will be "near England" again this trip (click here for vacation story).

John continues to set off my weirdo meter and now some other employees are seeing it too.  Others in the office have commented that every time they go past his desk, he quickly minimizes the computer window he is working in.  I have noticed this too and I am not the only one who thinks it is strange.  What the hell is he looking at that he wants to keep so secret?  When he is not busy hiding/minimizing his computer screen, John continues to have difficulty with the CAD program that we installed on his computer (click here to read about CAD program issue).  Drew did finally receive his requested drawing, but he is waiting for some amendments he requested.  I really don't think John knows how to use the program.  I hope he will be able to pick it up ASAP because I don't really want to hear what The Boss will think of this newest development.

As we have discussed, The Nuthouse will need to have some additional office space added to the building.  Currently, we are all together and although it works right now, we are going to get on each other's nerves sooner or later.  Well, today a contractor stopped in to meet with The Boss concerning adding the much-needed space.  I overheard some of the conversation and was beyond shocked when I heard they were not discussing extra offices, but rather a conference room!  I immediately thought I must have misunderstood what I had heard.  

After the contractor left, The Boss was quick to sit down and talk about what he had to say.  I think he does this so he can see what Drew has to say, since Drew has tools, but that is another story.  While telling the story, The Boss didn't specifically say what kind of space was being added, so I came right out and asked.  Guess what - we are not adding offices right now, but rather a conference room!  OMFG - what the hell do we need a conference room for!  We don't conference with anyone!  No one comes down this bumpy, unpaved dirt road to see us, much less meet with us!  Now with COVID, no one meets with anyone!  I swear. this man misses every stop on the logic train.  Where are the logic bugs when you need them (click here for logic bug story).  I don't know why shit like this continues to surprise me... but it does.  Oh, by the way... the conference room construction is beginning next week.  God knows we cannot wait...we need a conference room STAT!

I checked in with my parents over the weekend.  My Mom still has a dry cough and she didn't do her tele-med visit with her doctor.  Rest assured, she did get her hair done and it looks great (click here to read Mom story).  Can it just be 2021 already!  I told my Mom if there is a resurgence of COVID in her area she will be considered Patient Zero - she didn't find that amusing at all.  She really doesn't get me at all!

Enjoy your evening and if you come up with a way to immediately make it 2021 please drop me a note and let me know how.  I am so done with this fricken' year!

Friday, August 7, 2020

More Random Stories From The Nuthouse

Nothing earth shattering occurred this week at The Nuthouse; just the normal craziness.  I thought it might be time for another addition of "Random Stories From The Nuthouse."  As you know, these are snippets of things heard around the office, but they don't quite have enough "meat" to warrant their own blog posting.  Enjoy....

  • I overheard our warehouse manager Adam pitching a fit about his parents this week.  He was quite upset that his Mom asked him to come home at a decent hour during the week because he keeps waking up his Dad who is having some health issues.  Adam made it perfectly clear to all those listening that he thinks this request is both ridiculous overstepping her bounds.  Did you remember that Adam still lives at home at his advanced age?  (click here to read about Adam).
  • I think The Boss believes he fluent in French.  We have a new customer in Canada and The Boss reached out to him this week.  When he was connected to the individual, he started his conversation with Bonjour and said his name.  When the person responded back in French, it was quickly apparent that The Boss had no idea what was just said.  Now, most normal people would just speak in their native tongue.  The Boss did that to a degree...he decided to speak his version of French - English words with a weird French accent.  He sounded just like Pepe Le Pew from the Looney Toon cartoons..  It was hilarious; I hope he finds more French customers!
  • John was in the kitchen grabbing a cup of coffee earlier this week and The Boss ran from his office to join him.  I don't really know what was so important that it required such a dash from his office, but I did hear him informing John not to dump anything down the sink because someone had been putting bad stuff down the drain and clogged it up completely.  He added that he had to fix the clogged sink himself (click here for the real story).
  • Drew requested a small CAD drawing from John earlier this week (remember, he is our drafts person/technical representative).  First, he had trouble finding the program on his computer (strange), but then, once he found it he wasn't quite sure how it worked.  I believe Drew is still waiting for the drawing he requested.  I heard John comment to someone in the warehouse that our CAD program doesn't look anything like the one he used in school.  In case you may have forgotten, John is approximately 45 years old.  Has he not used a CAD program since college?  I'm going to go out on a limb here and say the program may have changed a bit since then!  Oh boy, this is going to be interesting.
  • John is still settling in at The Nuthouse. He continues to comment that his chair aggravates his back (click here to read story).  I asked The Boss about it and he said the chair is fine and it just needs some time to conform to his body.  I think some of the "shine" is wearing off our new employee.  For as annoying as The Boss can be, he really does crack me up sometimes.
  • It's no secret that 2020 has been a total shit show.  I'm thinking that before the summer is officially over, I should get away for a couple of days.  Maybe head to the ocean and breath some salt air (at a safe and social distance, of course).  I think I may take a long weekend.... think you'll miss me?
  • There must be a big shindig coming up at church this weekend.  Mike and Wayne have been spending a great deal of time together this week going over religious stuff.  They are keeping to themselves, so I don't think it is a membership drive (click here for the last membership drive).
  • On a personal note, I spoke with my Mom this week and she said she had a dry cough.  She contacted her doctor and they wanted to do a tele-med appointment with her and maybe test her for COVID.  She told them she didn't know how to do that and has since decided that she feels a bit better - plus she had a hair appointment, so she is going to do that instead of speaking with the doctor.  Yup, my parents are slowing driving me to drink!
Have a great weekend Nutties!  Get out there and enjoy what is left of the summer...snow will be here again before you know it!  Until next time...

Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Guess Who Made It In Today?

Yesterday was going to be the first day for our new draft person/technical representative John; but guess what.....he called in sick!  No, I misspoke when I said that, he didn't actually call in for his first day of work.  He didn't show up at all and we had to call him, at which time he said he was ill and would not be in.  I couldn't make this shit up if I tried!

The Nuthouse opens at 8 AM and by 8:30 AM The Boss was becoming concerned that John hadn't arrived and that no one had heard anything from him.  I inquired if he knew what time we started and The Boss assured me that he had discussed it with him on Friday when he came in to sign his employment papers.  By 9 AM, The Boss decided to phone him and after about six rings, John picked up the phone.  Now, I don't think John had put The Nuthouse number in his contact list, because when he initially answered, he sounded chipper, but once The Boss identified himself, John immediately sounded a bit under the weather.  He told The Boss that he was sick and wouldn't be able to make it; he then said goodbye and hung up.  To say The Boss was pissed was an understatement - it was hilarious!

Fast forward to today.  No one knew if John would be coming in or not.  No one knew, if he wasn't planning on attending the festivities, if he would call in or not.  So many questions....  At 7:55 AM we had our answers; bounding up the walkway like a dumb labrador retriever was our newest Nuthouse employee, John.  He came in said good morning and asked where he was sitting.  He did not mention a word about yesterday and he looked pretty healthy too.

The Boss came out to meet him and asked how he was feeling and John replied, "great."  This just added to the anger from yesterday.... again, hilarious.  The Boss took John out to the warehouse where he would be stationed and must have told him if he needed anything special to let me know and I would make sure we ordered it for him because before The Boss had made it back to his office my intercom was ringing and it was John.

Now, mind you, I had put paper, pens, paperclips, phone manual, computer passwords, etc. on the middle of his desk yesterday in preparation for his first day.  I had planned on sitting with him after he settled in to get him up and running.  He was not looking for anything like that, he was wondering if there was another desk chair around because the one currently at the desk hurt his back.  How could this ass-hat even know that his chair hurt his back - he has only been here ten minutes!  I swear, this weirdo is going to go down as the worst hire in the world! 

I am reluctant to say that John may be more annoying than The Boss, but I am beginning to wonder if it is true.  God help us all - hasn't 2020 been bad enough already?

Friday, July 31, 2020

The Nuthouse Had Something of a Goth Vibe Today!

It's my favorite day of the work week once again Nutties - join me in saying hello to our good friend FRIDAY!  Sometimes I find it difficult to come into work every day during the summer months - I would much rather be outside enjoying the beautiful weather!  That being said, the last time I checked I am not independently wealthy, so here I am on a beautiful summer day surrounded by nut jobs!

The big event for today was the arrival of our newest employee John.  He officially starts on Monday, but he was coming in today to sign his new employee paperwork and to join us for lunch.  The Boss thought this would give everyone the opportunity to meet and spend some time with our new colleague.  Now, most of us had already met John when he came in recently (and also when he showed up unexpectedly just to say "hi").  For this story, I need to describe what John looked like when we previously had made his acquaintance.  John looked to be about 45 years old, medium height, stocky build with salt and pepper (more on the salt side) hair and a goatee.  Now, this description was what he looked like when we originally met him.  The original description of our colleague has changed a bit from who actually walked into our offices today.

Around 11:30 AM, the door opened and a man walked in.  At quick glance, he looked familiar, but at the same time, different.  OMG - it was John and he didn't look like I remembered him! John still had the same medium, stocky build but now his hair and goatee was so dark black that it almost had a blue hue to it. It looked like he had a fight with a container of shoe polish and definitely was on the losing side!  I immediately did a double take and had a hard time believing what I was seeing.  This man, who had  salt and pepper hair, now resembled the goth guy who works at the local coffee shop.  What the hell is going on with this weirdo?

When I tell you that words could not accurately describe the look on The Boss' face when he saw John, I am not exaggerating, but I will try!  First there was confusion (do I know you), recognition (yup, I know you), puzzlement (what is going on with you), shock (did you really dye your hair so black it looks blue), disgust (yes, you did dye your hair so black it is blue) and then back to confusion.  All of these looks passed across The Boss' face in a matter of a second or two - it was awesome to see!

John signed his new employee paperwork and we all sat down for lunch.  He did most of the talking and it was mostly about himself (he just keeps getting better and better).  After two hours we all had work that needed to get done, but John just wasn't getting the hint that it was time to go.  So finally, The Boss speaks up and said "John, I think it's time to go..see you on Monday."  Next thing we know, John is gone!

Don't worry, I have no doubt our newest goth nuttie will be here bright and early on Monday morning.  Yup, it's going to be an interesting ride with this weirdo!  Enjoy your weekend!

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Stop The Presses - A New Nut Is Joining the Nuthouse!

Well, this news will come as no surprise to ANYONE, but The Nuthouse is gaining another employee beginning on Monday morning.  The Boss announced this afternoon that after much thought and consideration, he has decided to hire John as our drafts-person and to assist with technical representation on some of our jobs.  It has become quite obvious that The Boss does not like interviewing for job openings, so it is no shock that the first person he spoke with about this position would be the one that he hires - even if the guy is weird AF!

The Boss spoke a little about John's credentials and confidently assured us that he will be quite an asset to the organization.  He also reminded the salespeople that with a technical representative in house, they may not have to visit job sites as often.  This will allow them to make more sales which would equate to more commissions.  The sales staff seemed pleased at this new development.

The Boss let us know that John will be coming in on Friday during lunch to sign all of his new employee paperwork.  He has also asked him to join us for lunch; this will allow us all to meet and get to know him in a relaxed environment. I wonder if he will be even weirder (if that is possible) when he is in a relaxed environment.  I hope I am wrong about this guy, but something just seems a little off about him.

Drew spoke up and asked where John would be sitting since we are at capacity in the front office.  The Boss agreed that there is currently no available room for him in the main office, so for the time being, he will be stationed at a desk in the warehouse.  The Boss assured us this is only temporary because he has some contractors coming in to price out transforming a portion of the warehouse space into new office spaces.  He says that we are growing at a great pace and we need the extra space.

Wow, maybe I will soon have a quiet area where I don't have to watch Drew spitting into his garbage can while he speaks waaaayyy to loudly on the telephone.  Finally, something to look forward to here at The Nuthouse!   Enjoy your evening!

Tuesday, July 28, 2020

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Statements!

I cannot believe that it is the last week in July; where the heck did the month go?  Although 2020 has been a total shit show, this year is really flying by.  At this rate, it will be Christmas before we even realize it.  The Nuthouse continues to be busy and sales have been great considering all that is happening in the world.  The fact that we are still operational and doing well is not lost on us...we are so lucky considering some other businesses are still attempting to find their footing.

Since it is the end of the month, it is time to send out statements and/or late notices to our delinquent customers.  Our sales terms are net 30 but sometimes our customers may take up to 45.  I feel that statements are a good way to remind our customers of amounts due without making phone calls.  I don't think it is a stretch to think that statements should be sent to customers reminding them that they have a balance due to our organization; The Boss on the other hand seems to disagree.

As the statements are coming off the printer, The Boss walks by and watches me as I folded them into envelopes.  He watches for a couple of minutes and asks what am I doing.  I tell him that it is the end of the month, so it is statement time!  He looks at me like I have two heads, shakes his head and says, "we don't send statements here."  Now, we all remember The Boss' idea of  proper accounting practices before I came here (click here for accounting story).  I quickly responded that I have been sending out statements since I started and implemented our accounting program.  I remind him it has aided in cutting down phone calls and increased collecting our past due amounts.  The Boss seemed surprised at my response and again stated that he never sent statements before.  I wanted to say that maybe that would be the reason there were unpaid invoices over one year old when I got here, but I didn't (see I can hold my tongue sometimes).

He watched as I finished the mailing and then asked if I sent them every month (yup, I do).  He then offered to drop them off at the Post Office since he was going there to check the mailbox.  I immediately had this strange vision of him throwing them away and them never making it to the Post Office, so I politely declined and said that I would add postage and get them ready for the mailman's arrival this afternoon. Better safe than sorry!

I swear, if this man had his way, we would still be doing A/R in Microsoft Word and never calling or following up on customers that do not pay.  I don't know how this organization made any money before we had normal business practices in place.  I guess he was fortunate that the majority of his customers were honest and paid at some point.

Rest assured; the monthly statements were picked up by our mailman this afternoon!  Until next time Nutties!

Saturday, July 25, 2020

Our End of the World Is Getting Back to "Normal"

Sorry for the late post; after having our "team building" day yesterday and closing the office early, I started my Friday night as soon as I entered my car in The Nuthouse parking lot.  That being said, I didn't get a chance to post my Friday thoughts until right now - Saturday night!  Happy Weekend Nutties!

Yesterday, The Boss decided that he would run and grab lunch (rather than having it delivered), because he had some errands to run.  Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but when he runs to get lunch, it TAKES FOREVER!  I'm not sure what exactly his errands were, but they must have been numerous because he didn't return with lunch until well after 1 PM.  Now, let me tell you a little about me and food.  Although never confirmed by a doctor's note, I am under the belief that I suffer from bouts of low blood sugar.  It is not at all debilitating, but if I don't eat at normal intervals, I tend to have a severe reaction.  Now, some who suffer from this condition may feel light-headed or sick; my symptoms are a bit different - I get down right mean!  I can be alone in a room and become irritated to the point of grinding my teeth for no other reason than it is time for me to be fed.  I guess I really am just an infant in a grown man's body!  Fortunately, I know how I am (and can become), so I always have snacks in my desk.  These snacks might be the only thing standing between me and a jail cell at times. 

When The Boss finally arrived with the food, I was teetering on the edge of hurting someone.  He walks in the office without the food but carrying three Costco sized packages of toilet paper!  I know you remember from my previous posts how much toilet paper The Boss buys for the office (click here for toilet paper story), but with the recent low supplies due to corona virus, his stock has been greatly depleted.    He put the packages of TP in the kitchen and went back outside.  I thought he was retrieving the food, but no.... next, he comes in with three even larger packages of paper towels.  The only thing going through my brain is, did this man forget the damn food?  Where is it and if he doesn't bring it in soon, I am going to need to go to my snack drawer again!  Luckily, the third trip outside was to bring in the food - and it ended up being delicious!

This brings me to the reason behind the blog title today - I guess our area is getting back to normal because he was able to find and buy such a large cache of toilet paper and paper towels.  I wish I could have been able to see his face when he saw all those paper supplies - he must have been so happy! It's the simple things!

All in all, the team building day at the office was relaxing and nice.  Lunch was delicious and we all sat around and caught up with each other.  Leaving early was wonderful also - the weather, although hot, has been so beautiful, so it was nice to get an early start on the weekend. I may work in a nuthouse, but it keeps me entertained!