Tuesday, September 22, 2020
Thursday, September 17, 2020
Just when I thought The Boss can't get any worse, he really steps up and surprises me yet again! Let me give you a bit of background info. When we moved to the Hobbes Street property, The Boss told us that we were located in a "protected" area of our county. At the time (and right now too), I'm not really sure what that means, but today I discovered "protected" means that if he doesn't appreciate what the neighbor across our small pond is doing, you have the right to call the police and report them.
We have a neighbor across the pond (yes, it's an actual pond - I'm not referring to England) that has some sort of business. I don't know what they do, and I actually don't really care - and it's not pertinent to the story. Well, this neighbor has started some sort of expansion project. It is difficult to see exactly what is going on because all the leaves are on the trees, but we can hear them working. Over the past couple of weeks, The Boss has become strangely preoccupied with the work going on over there. He has "stopped in" twice and has said he drives there over the weekend (when they are closed) to check out what is going on. Maybe we should start referring to The Boss as "John" because he is a bit stalker-ish!
We knew it was bound to happen at some point; today The Boss came in with a total fire in his pants about the neighbor and his expansion. He complained three times before lunch that he couldn't concentrate or get any work done because of "all the noise" (sure, that is why he cannot get any work done). He then proceeded to go outside numerous times, standing on the edge of the pond trying to determine what was going on with the neighbor. As I mentioned he couldn't see much because of the full foliage on the trees. By 3 PM, I guess he couldn't take it anymore! He started roaming around the office and warehouse bitching about the noise and the fact that the land is "protected." His constant bitching worked himself into such a tizzy that he ended up phoning the police. Yup, he actually phoned the police because the neighbor was working outside! I heard him on the phone (I did not hear what the police said) stating on more than one occasion that they should come and investigate because the land is "protected." Lord help us, now the police department knows we are The Nuthouse.
Around 4:30 PM in drives a police cruiser. An officer walks into the office and requests to speak with The Boss. The Boss comes running out of his office like a kid on Christmas morning. He leads the officer outside to the pond edge and I see a lot of finger pointing being done by The Boss. The Boss returns to the office alone and he seems quite pleased with himself. Drew asked him what was going on and The Boss proudly reported that the officer was going over to the neighbors to have a talk with him.
As if it wasn't enough that have weirdo John to worry about (yes, The Boss is still worried about him), but now The Boss has pissed off the neighbor. We are gaining quite a reputation around here! Good times....good times!
Tuesday, September 15, 2020
Monday, September 14, 2020
Friday, September 11, 2020
Wednesday, September 9, 2020
Monday, September 7, 2020
Wednesday, September 2, 2020
Monday, August 31, 2020
Friday, August 28, 2020
Tuesday, August 25, 2020
Monday, August 24, 2020
Wednesday, August 19, 2020
Monday, August 17, 2020
Tuesday, August 11, 2020
Friday, August 7, 2020
Nothing earth shattering occurred this week at The Nuthouse; just the normal craziness. I thought it might be time for another addition of "Random Stories From The Nuthouse." As you know, these are snippets of things heard around the office, but they don't quite have enough "meat" to warrant their own blog posting. Enjoy....
- I overheard our warehouse manager Adam pitching a fit about his parents this week. He was quite upset that his Mom asked him to come home at a decent hour during the week because he keeps waking up his Dad who is having some health issues. Adam made it perfectly clear to all those listening that he thinks this request is both ridiculous overstepping her bounds. Did you remember that Adam still lives at home at his advanced age? (click here to read about Adam).
- I think The Boss believes he fluent in French. We have a new customer in Canada and The Boss reached out to him this week. When he was connected to the individual, he started his conversation with Bonjour and said his name. When the person responded back in French, it was quickly apparent that The Boss had no idea what was just said. Now, most normal people would just speak in their native tongue. The Boss did that to a degree...he decided to speak his version of French - English words with a weird French accent. He sounded just like Pepe Le Pew from the Looney Toon cartoons.. It was hilarious; I hope he finds more French customers!
- John was in the kitchen grabbing a cup of coffee earlier this week and The Boss ran from his office to join him. I don't really know what was so important that it required such a dash from his office, but I did hear him informing John not to dump anything down the sink because someone had been putting bad stuff down the drain and clogged it up completely. He added that he had to fix the clogged sink himself (click here for the real story).
- Drew requested a small CAD drawing from John earlier this week (remember, he is our drafts person/technical representative). First, he had trouble finding the program on his computer (strange), but then, once he found it he wasn't quite sure how it worked. I believe Drew is still waiting for the drawing he requested. I heard John comment to someone in the warehouse that our CAD program doesn't look anything like the one he used in school. In case you may have forgotten, John is approximately 45 years old. Has he not used a CAD program since college? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say the program may have changed a bit since then! Oh boy, this is going to be interesting.
- John is still settling in at The Nuthouse. He continues to comment that his chair aggravates his back (click here to read story). I asked The Boss about it and he said the chair is fine and it just needs some time to conform to his body. I think some of the "shine" is wearing off our new employee. For as annoying as The Boss can be, he really does crack me up sometimes.
- It's no secret that 2020 has been a total shit show. I'm thinking that before the summer is officially over, I should get away for a couple of days. Maybe head to the ocean and breath some salt air (at a safe and social distance, of course). I think I may take a long weekend.... think you'll miss me?
- There must be a big shindig coming up at church this weekend. Mike and Wayne have been spending a great deal of time together this week going over religious stuff. They are keeping to themselves, so I don't think it is a membership drive (click here for the last membership drive).
- On a personal note, I spoke with my Mom this week and she said she had a dry cough. She contacted her doctor and they wanted to do a tele-med appointment with her and maybe test her for COVID. She told them she didn't know how to do that and has since decided that she feels a bit better - plus she had a hair appointment, so she is going to do that instead of speaking with the doctor. Yup, my parents are slowing driving me to drink!
Tuesday, August 4, 2020
Yesterday was going to be the first day for our new draft person/technical representative John; but guess what.....he called in sick! No, I misspoke when I said that, he didn't actually call in for his first day of work. He didn't show up at all and we had to call him, at which time he said he was ill and would not be in. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried!
The Nuthouse opens at 8 AM and by 8:30 AM The Boss was becoming concerned that John hadn't arrived and that no one had heard anything from him. I inquired if he knew what time we started and The Boss assured me that he had discussed it with him on Friday when he came in to sign his employment papers. By 9 AM, The Boss decided to phone him and after about six rings, John picked up the phone. Now, I don't think John had put The Nuthouse number in his contact list, because when he initially answered, he sounded chipper, but once The Boss identified himself, John immediately sounded a bit under the weather. He told The Boss that he was sick and wouldn't be able to make it; he then said goodbye and hung up. To say The Boss was pissed was an understatement - it was hilarious!
Fast forward to today. No one knew if John would be coming in or not. No one knew, if he wasn't planning on attending the festivities, if he would call in or not. So many questions.... At 7:55 AM we had our answers; bounding up the walkway like a dumb labrador retriever was our newest Nuthouse employee, John. He came in said good morning and asked where he was sitting. He did not mention a word about yesterday and he looked pretty healthy too.
The Boss came out to meet him and asked how he was feeling and John replied, "great." This just added to the anger from yesterday.... again, hilarious. The Boss took John out to the warehouse where he would be stationed and must have told him if he needed anything special to let me know and I would make sure we ordered it for him because before The Boss had made it back to his office my intercom was ringing and it was John.
Now, mind you, I had put paper, pens, paperclips, phone manual, computer passwords, etc. on the middle of his desk yesterday in preparation for his first day. I had planned on sitting with him after he settled in to get him up and running. He was not looking for anything like that, he was wondering if there was another desk chair around because the one currently at the desk hurt his back. How could this ass-hat even know that his chair hurt his back - he has only been here ten minutes! I swear, this weirdo is going to go down as the worst hire in the world!
I am reluctant to say that John may be more annoying than The Boss, but I am beginning to wonder if it is true. God help us all - hasn't 2020 been bad enough already?
Friday, July 31, 2020
It's my favorite day of the work week once again Nutties - join me in saying hello to our good friend FRIDAY! Sometimes I find it difficult to come into work every day during the summer months - I would much rather be outside enjoying the beautiful weather! That being said, the last time I checked I am not independently wealthy, so here I am on a beautiful summer day surrounded by nut jobs!
The big event for today was the arrival of our newest employee John. He officially starts on Monday, but he was coming in today to sign his new employee paperwork and to join us for lunch. The Boss thought this would give everyone the opportunity to meet and spend some time with our new colleague. Now, most of us had already met John when he came in recently (and also when he showed up unexpectedly just to say "hi"). For this story, I need to describe what John looked like when we previously had made his acquaintance. John looked to be about 45 years old, medium height, stocky build with salt and pepper (more on the salt side) hair and a goatee. Now, this description was what he looked like when we originally met him. The original description of our colleague has changed a bit from who actually walked into our offices today.
Around 11:30 AM, the door opened and a man walked in. At quick glance, he looked familiar, but at the same time, different. OMG - it was John and he didn't look like I remembered him! John still had the same medium, stocky build but now his hair and goatee was so dark black that it almost had a blue hue to it. It looked like he had a fight with a container of shoe polish and definitely was on the losing side! I immediately did a double take and had a hard time believing what I was seeing. This man, who had salt and pepper hair, now resembled the goth guy who works at the local coffee shop. What the hell is going on with this weirdo?
When I tell you that words could not accurately describe the look on The Boss' face when he saw John, I am not exaggerating, but I will try! First there was confusion (do I know you), recognition (yup, I know you), puzzlement (what is going on with you), shock (did you really dye your hair so black it looks blue), disgust (yes, you did dye your hair so black it is blue) and then back to confusion. All of these looks passed across The Boss' face in a matter of a second or two - it was awesome to see!
John signed his new employee paperwork and we all sat down for lunch. He did most of the talking and it was mostly about himself (he just keeps getting better and better). After two hours we all had work that needed to get done, but John just wasn't getting the hint that it was time to go. So finally, The Boss speaks up and said "John, I think it's time to go..see you on Monday." Next thing we know, John is gone!
Don't worry, I have no doubt our newest goth nuttie will be here bright and early on Monday morning. Yup, it's going to be an interesting ride with this weirdo! Enjoy your weekend!
Wednesday, July 29, 2020
The Boss spoke a little about John's credentials and confidently assured us that he will be quite an asset to the organization. He also reminded the salespeople that with a technical representative in house, they may not have to visit job sites as often. This will allow them to make more sales which would equate to more commissions. The sales staff seemed pleased at this new development.
The Boss let us know that John will be coming in on Friday during lunch to sign all of his new employee paperwork. He has also asked him to join us for lunch; this will allow us all to meet and get to know him in a relaxed environment. I wonder if he will be even weirder (if that is possible) when he is in a relaxed environment. I hope I am wrong about this guy, but something just seems a little off about him.
Drew spoke up and asked where John would be sitting since we are at capacity in the front office. The Boss agreed that there is currently no available room for him in the main office, so for the time being, he will be stationed at a desk in the warehouse. The Boss assured us this is only temporary because he has some contractors coming in to price out transforming a portion of the warehouse space into new office spaces. He says that we are growing at a great pace and we need the extra space.
Wow, maybe I will soon have a quiet area where I don't have to watch Drew spitting into his garbage can while he speaks waaaayyy to loudly on the telephone. Finally, something to look forward to here at The Nuthouse! Enjoy your evening!
Tuesday, July 28, 2020
Saturday, July 25, 2020
Yesterday, The Boss decided that he would run and grab lunch (rather than having it delivered), because he had some errands to run. Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but when he runs to get lunch, it TAKES FOREVER! I'm not sure what exactly his errands were, but they must have been numerous because he didn't return with lunch until well after 1 PM. Now, let me tell you a little about me and food. Although never confirmed by a doctor's note, I am under the belief that I suffer from bouts of low blood sugar. It is not at all debilitating, but if I don't eat at normal intervals, I tend to have a severe reaction. Now, some who suffer from this condition may feel light-headed or sick; my symptoms are a bit different - I get down right mean! I can be alone in a room and become irritated to the point of grinding my teeth for no other reason than it is time for me to be fed. I guess I really am just an infant in a grown man's body! Fortunately, I know how I am (and can become), so I always have snacks in my desk. These snacks might be the only thing standing between me and a jail cell at times.
When The Boss finally arrived with the food, I was teetering on the edge of hurting someone. He walks in the office without the food but carrying three Costco sized packages of toilet paper! I know you remember from my previous posts how much toilet paper The Boss buys for the office (click here for toilet paper story), but with the recent low supplies due to corona virus, his stock has been greatly depleted. He put the packages of TP in the kitchen and went back outside. I thought he was retrieving the food, but no.... next, he comes in with three even larger packages of paper towels. The only thing going through my brain is, did this man forget the damn food? Where is it and if he doesn't bring it in soon, I am going to need to go to my snack drawer again! Luckily, the third trip outside was to bring in the food - and it ended up being delicious!
This brings me to the reason behind the blog title today - I guess our area is getting back to normal because he was able to find and buy such a large cache of toilet paper and paper towels. I wish I could have been able to see his face when he saw all those paper supplies - he must have been so happy! It's the simple things!
All in all, the team building day at the office was relaxing and nice. Lunch was delicious and we all sat around and caught up with each other. Leaving early was wonderful also - the weather, although hot, has been so beautiful, so it was nice to get an early start on the weekend. I may work in a nuthouse, but it keeps me entertained!