The Nuthouse Had Something of a Goth Vibe Today!

It's my favorite day of the work week once again Nutties - join me in saying hello to our good friend FRIDAY!  Sometimes I find it difficult to come into work every day during the summer months - I would much rather be outside enjoying the beautiful weather!  That being said, the last time I checked I am not independently wealthy, so here I am on a beautiful summer day surrounded by nut jobs!

The big event for today was the arrival of our newest employee John.  He officially starts on Monday, but he was coming in today to sign his new employee paperwork and to join us for lunch.  The Boss thought this would give everyone the opportunity to meet and spend some time with our new colleague.  Now, most of us had already met John when he came in recently (and also when he showed up unexpectedly just to say "hi").  For this story, I need to describe what John looked like when we previously had made his acquaintance.  John looked to be about 45 years old, medium height, stocky build with salt and pepper (more on the salt side) hair and a goatee.  Now, this description was what he looked like when we originally met him.  The original description of our colleague has changed a bit from who actually walked into our offices today.

Around 11:30 AM, the door opened and a man walked in.  At quick glance, he looked familiar, but at the same time, different.  OMG - it was John and he didn't look like I remembered him! John still had the same medium, stocky build but now his hair and goatee was so dark black that it almost had a blue hue to it. It looked like he had a fight with a container of shoe polish and definitely was on the losing side!  I immediately did a double take and had a hard time believing what I was seeing.  This man, who had  salt and pepper hair, now resembled the goth guy who works at the local coffee shop.  What the hell is going on with this weirdo?

When I tell you that words could not accurately describe the look on The Boss' face when he saw John, I am not exaggerating, but I will try!  First there was confusion (do I know you), recognition (yup, I know you), puzzlement (what is going on with you), shock (did you really dye your hair so black it looks blue), disgust (yes, you did dye your hair so black it is blue) and then back to confusion.  All of these looks passed across The Boss' face in a matter of a second or two - it was awesome to see!

John signed his new employee paperwork and we all sat down for lunch.  He did most of the talking and it was mostly about himself (he just keeps getting better and better).  After two hours we all had work that needed to get done, but John just wasn't getting the hint that it was time to go.  So finally, The Boss speaks up and said "John, I think it's time to go..see you on Monday."  Next thing we know, John is gone!

Don't worry, I have no doubt our newest goth nuttie will be here bright and early on Monday morning.  Yup, it's going to be an interesting ride with this weirdo!  Enjoy your weekend!

Stop The Presses - A New Nut Is Joining the Nuthouse!

Well, this news will come as no surprise to ANYONE, but The Nuthouse is gaining another employee beginning on Monday morning.  The Boss announced this afternoon that after much thought and consideration, he has decided to hire John as our drafts-person and to assist with technical representation on some of our jobs.  It has become quite obvious that The Boss does not like interviewing for job openings, so it is no shock that the first person he spoke with about this position would be the one that he hires - even if the guy is weird AF!

The Boss spoke a little about John's credentials and confidently assured us that he will be quite an asset to the organization.  He also reminded the salespeople that with a technical representative in house, they may not have to visit job sites as often.  This will allow them to make more sales which would equate to more commissions.  The sales staff seemed pleased at this new development.

The Boss let us know that John will be coming in on Friday during lunch to sign all of his new employee paperwork.  He has also asked him to join us for lunch; this will allow us all to meet and get to know him in a relaxed environment. I wonder if he will be even weirder (if that is possible) when he is in a relaxed environment.  I hope I am wrong about this guy, but something just seems a little off about him.

Drew spoke up and asked where John would be sitting since we are at capacity in the front office.  The Boss agreed that there is currently no available room for him in the main office, so for the time being, he will be stationed at a desk in the warehouse.  The Boss assured us this is only temporary because he has some contractors coming in to price out transforming a portion of the warehouse space into new office spaces.  He says that we are growing at a great pace and we need the extra space.

Wow, maybe I will soon have a quiet area where I don't have to watch Drew spitting into his garbage can while he speaks waaaayyy to loudly on the telephone.  Finally, something to look forward to here at The Nuthouse!   Enjoy your evening!

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Statements!

I cannot believe that it is the last week in July; where the heck did the month go?  Although 2020 has been a total shit show, this year is really flying by.  At this rate, it will be Christmas before we even realize it.  The Nuthouse continues to be busy and sales have been great considering all that is happening in the world.  The fact that we are still operational and doing well is not lost on us...we are so lucky considering some other businesses are still attempting to find their footing.

Since it is the end of the month, it is time to send out statements and/or late notices to our delinquent customers.  Our sales terms are net 30 but sometimes our customers may take up to 45.  I feel that statements are a good way to remind our customers of amounts due without making phone calls.  I don't think it is a stretch to think that statements should be sent to customers reminding them that they have a balance due to our organization; The Boss on the other hand seems to disagree.

As the statements are coming off the printer, The Boss walks by and watches me as I folded them into envelopes.  He watches for a couple of minutes and asks what am I doing.  I tell him that it is the end of the month, so it is statement time!  He looks at me like I have two heads, shakes his head and says, "we don't send statements here."  Now, we all remember The Boss' idea of  proper accounting practices before I came here (click here for accounting story).  I quickly responded that I have been sending out statements since I started and implemented our accounting program.  I remind him it has aided in cutting down phone calls and increased collecting our past due amounts.  The Boss seemed surprised at my response and again stated that he never sent statements before.  I wanted to say that maybe that would be the reason there were unpaid invoices over one year old when I got here, but I didn't (see I can hold my tongue sometimes).

He watched as I finished the mailing and then asked if I sent them every month (yup, I do).  He then offered to drop them off at the Post Office since he was going there to check the mailbox.  I immediately had this strange vision of him throwing them away and them never making it to the Post Office, so I politely declined and said that I would add postage and get them ready for the mailman's arrival this afternoon. Better safe than sorry!

I swear, if this man had his way, we would still be doing A/R in Microsoft Word and never calling or following up on customers that do not pay.  I don't know how this organization made any money before we had normal business practices in place.  I guess he was fortunate that the majority of his customers were honest and paid at some point.

Rest assured; the monthly statements were picked up by our mailman this afternoon!  Until next time Nutties!

Our End of the World Is Getting Back to "Normal"

Sorry for the late post; after having our "team building" day yesterday and closing the office early, I started my Friday night as soon as I entered my car in The Nuthouse parking lot.  That being said, I didn't get a chance to post my Friday thoughts until right now - Saturday night!  Happy Weekend Nutties!

Yesterday, The Boss decided that he would run and grab lunch (rather than having it delivered), because he had some errands to run.  Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but when he runs to get lunch, it TAKES FOREVER!  I'm not sure what exactly his errands were, but they must have been numerous because he didn't return with lunch until well after 1 PM.  Now, let me tell you a little about me and food.  Although never confirmed by a doctor's note, I am under the belief that I suffer from bouts of low blood sugar.  It is not at all debilitating, but if I don't eat at normal intervals, I tend to have a severe reaction.  Now, some who suffer from this condition may feel light-headed or sick; my symptoms are a bit different - I get down right mean!  I can be alone in a room and become irritated to the point of grinding my teeth for no other reason than it is time for me to be fed.  I guess I really am just an infant in a grown man's body!  Fortunately, I know how I am (and can become), so I always have snacks in my desk.  These snacks might be the only thing standing between me and a jail cell at times. 

When The Boss finally arrived with the food, I was teetering on the edge of hurting someone.  He walks in the office without the food but carrying three Costco sized packages of toilet paper!  I know you remember from my previous posts how much toilet paper The Boss buys for the office (click here for toilet paper story), but with the recent low supplies due to corona virus, his stock has been greatly depleted.    He put the packages of TP in the kitchen and went back outside.  I thought he was retrieving the food, but no.... next, he comes in with three even larger packages of paper towels.  The only thing going through my brain is, did this man forget the damn food?  Where is it and if he doesn't bring it in soon, I am going to need to go to my snack drawer again!  Luckily, the third trip outside was to bring in the food - and it ended up being delicious!

This brings me to the reason behind the blog title today - I guess our area is getting back to normal because he was able to find and buy such a large cache of toilet paper and paper towels.  I wish I could have been able to see his face when he saw all those paper supplies - he must have been so happy! It's the simple things!

All in all, the team building day at the office was relaxing and nice.  Lunch was delicious and we all sat around and caught up with each other.  Leaving early was wonderful also - the weather, although hot, has been so beautiful, so it was nice to get an early start on the weekend. I may work in a nuthouse, but it keeps me entertained!

Extra!, Extra! - The Nuthouse News!

• I already was aware that Frick and Frack were very popular with my co-workers (everyone except The Boss) (click here to learn about Frick and Frack).  I think they are so popular that others may be sneaking additional feedings to them when I am not around.  Due to these additional feedings and the size of the tank, I had to spend some time during lunch today cleaning their tank.  I carefully transferred The Nuthouse Mascots to a separate container while I cleaned the small tank in the kitchen sink.  Of course, The Boss came in while I was performing this task to, once again voicing his concern that the "fish tank is exceptionally loud."  He then asked me how long do fish live????  Damn, I think he may be plotting against my gilly friends!
• He also made sure to remind me as I was cleaning the tank to not let anything but water go down the drain because he and Drew just unclogged the sink.  Now, what would/could I put down the sink that would cause a problem?  It wasn't like I was cleaning the coffee pot!  Secondly, I was unaware that anyone assisted Drew in the sick unclogging...I guess I was mistaken! (click here for the true story)
• The Boss met with the security specialist company again today (click here for security story).  I think finding out that our possibly new employee John was waiting here on Monday morning freaked The Boss out just a bit.  I think because of that encounter, he may be even more adamant about increased security around the building.  As I have stated before, I don't think this increased security will every come to fruition and if we do waste the money on this crazy idea, we might be able to sell our outside security tapes to the nature channel because all there will be is wildlife footage.
• Speaking of John - today The Boss was looking for an area "to place a new employee."  Currently, there is no available room where we are all sitting, so maybe the weirdo can "bunk" with The Boss or Mike (like that will ever happen) or maybe he can have a desk in the warehouse area.  That sounds like a feasible option since he is going to be the technical representative....and, as a bonus, keeps the weirdo away from me! I hope I am wrong about him...
• The Boss informed us that tomorrow we are going to have a team building day.  It is my understanding that this will consist of lunch and going home a bit early - that sounds like a great team building to me!
• On a personal note - I spoke with my parents last evening via FaceTime; of course, hilarity ensued! (click here for FaceTime story).  Honestly, it wasn't as bad as it has been in the past.  I was fortunate enough to see both of their faces and not too much of the ceiling.  My Dad also had his pants on this time, so bonus points there!  They are doing well and staying healthy.  The news says that the area of the country where they live is currently exploding with Coronavirus, but they are being careful and trying not to take to many unnecessary chances.  I keep reminding them that they aren't "spring chickens" anymore - and they don't really seem to appreciate my reminders.  My Dad calls me a wise guy and states he can still kick my ass if he needs to.  Gotta love parents!

Monday Mornings Can Be Weird!

Welcome to new week at The Nuthouse!  This past weekend was WONDERFUL - I did absolutely nothing and I don't even feel guilty about it!  On Sunday, I took two naps before dinner time and still was able to sleep through the night.  Clearly, I am channeling my inner cat, because even Milo thought I was sleeping too much; he can be so judgmental!

It continues to be a scorcher here on the east coast.  Between the high temperatures and the even higher humidity levels,  it is virtually impossible to be outside for more than a couple of minutes without being completely miserable.  Maybe that is another reason why I stayed locked in my cave all weekend - the air conditioner and I became great and powerful friends this past weekend.  I think I may love Breezy (yes, I named my air conditioner!) even more than Cooper and Milo - just don't tell them.

When I arrived today, there was one car in the parking lot and it was a car that I did not recognize.  I'm not often first in the office (The Boss says he is usually in by 6AM - yeah, right), so I was even more surprised as I was parking someone emerged from the unknown, parked car.  It ended up being John, the guy that The Boss has been speaking with about being the draftsman/technical representative for the company.  I thought it was strange that The Boss hadn't said anything on Friday about him coming in, but he may have forgotten to mention it.

As I was getting out of my car, John came over and introduced himself and mentioned that we had met last week.  I said of course, I remembered him and apologized for The Boss not being in the office yet.  I mentioned that he must be running a little late for their meeting and I hoped he hadn't been waiting too long.  That's when John said, they didn't have a meeting scheduled - he just wanted to stop by to say hello.  I wish I had a mirror and could have seen my face as my mind comprehended what he had just said.  WTH - you are waiting in the parking lot of a potential employer on a Monday morning just to say hello??  I had initially thought he was a strange bird when I met him last week - clearly my weirdo meter is running at peak efficiency!  I think this guy my just be too weird for this place - I know, I never thought I would ever say those words in relation to The Nuthouse.

The Boss showed up about 15 minutes later and looked extremely confused when he came in the office and saw John sitting there speaking with me.  John then said he was in the area (yeah, down a dirt covered, pot hole filled road in the middle of nowhere) and just wanted to stop in and say hello.  He spoke with The Boss about his weekend and a few other basic topic things and next thing I know he was saying goodbye and was gone.  As he drove away, The Boss and I looked at each other and he said "that was weird' and he just turned and went into his office.  I knew right then that this f'n weirdo was going to be employed here sooner rather than later.   After the others arrived, I told them the story of John being here before the office was open and they think he maybe a bit weird too.

Never a dull day in The Nuthouse!  Keep cool Nutties - until next time!

Wow, I Am Happy It's Friday!

This picture expresses my excitement perfectly; it is Friday and I could not be happier!  I have no specific plans for this weekend and I am looking forward to doing nothing.... nothing at all!

Yesterday, I met with the Fire Marshal from the town.  He was scheduled to re-check the list of items he had previously found that were against town code.  They were easy (and inexpensive) fixes and he was pleased they had all been addressed and corrected to his satisfaction.  He was very friendly during his visit  - I'm really not sure why The Boss seems so intimidated by him.  The Marshal was only at the office for a short time and about an hour after the scheduled appointment time, The Boss arrived.  I was surprised to see him, after all, I had to meet with the Marshal because he said he was  "going to be out of the office all day."

In case you were wondering, the kitchen sink drain continues to be running slowly (click here for sink story), so, this afternoon, The Boss brought in some tools and made a big production about placing them around the area of the sink.  Now, I knew exactly what he was doing (he is so fricken transparent); he was banking on the fact that if he put tools around and made it look like he was doing something, Drew would come over and ask if he needed help (because everyone knows he does).  I didn't say anything about my hypothesis and it only took Drew about five minutes to fall into The Boss' trap (non pun intended).

When Drew asked The Boss if he needed help, I could almost see the relief on his face!  He actually said, in his most manly voice, "my plan is to tackle this sink problem, but I cannot get to it right now".  Simple, simple, easily fooled, Drew - he fell for his trick hook, line and sinker.  Next thing I know, The Boss is in his office on the computer, never to be seen again and Drew is elbow deep in the sink and removing coffee grounds from the pipes.  Drew, you sucker, he got you good!  Drew successfully fixed the sink and water is flowing smoothly again!  Surprisingly enough, a few minutes after the sink was done (and Drew finished cleaning up), The Boss emerged from his office and indicated he was ready to fix the sink.  He then acted all surprised that it was already done.  And the Academy Award for Best Actor goes to....The Boss!

It was really quiet this afternoon, so I decided to leave a little early.  I wanted to start my weekend of doing nothing as soon as I could.  It takes a great deal of work to make doing nothing look so easy - and I'm just the man for the task.

Enjoy your weekend Nutties - see you Monday!

Security Is Paramount..

Here at The Nuthouse, we like to fly "under the radar."  When I first arrived to begin my temporary position, I could immediately tell this place was different in oh so many ways (click here for my arrival story).  Remember, even when we moved to the Hobbes Street location, The Boss had to be pressured by the Fire Marshal to add the street number to the building - and don't even suggest that we put a sign up with our company name.  That crazy idea will make The Boss' head spin like a top.  I am not sure why we are so secretive, but his paranoia seems to be increasing.  Maybe he is in the witness protection program and we just don't know it?

Someone from a local security company visited today to discuss adding cameras, motion detectors and entry gates to the outside of the building.  As I have said numerous times, we are located down a dirt road, filled with potholes.  The area resembles a deep and dark "woods setting" found in a bad horror movie.  I cannot imagine what or whom The Boss hopes to "catch" with motion detectors and security cameras in a desolate area like this.  Maybe a deer or possibly is it to keep a better eye on those pesky geese that are continually out to get him (click here for the geese story)?

Once the security company representative left the building, The Boss was very excited to speak to everyone about what the company could offer.  When we questioned why we he thought we needed such extreme security measures for a small company at the end of a dirt road, The Boss said this morning a car drove into the parking lot and turned around (gasp!).   He attempted to run out to see who it was, but they were driving away before he could get to them.  From that brief interaction, he immediately surmised that the individual in the car was not an innocent, lost driver, but rather a unscrupulous, troublemaker looking for information on our company, products and employees (yes, he was deadly serious when he was telling us this).  My god, this man really is INSANE - someone just turned around in a parking lot for god sake!

He also commented that he wants security amped up inside the building.  We all have a responsibility to make sure that windows are closed, doors are locked and important files are not out in the open.  At that point, he reminded me that I had not been locking my filing cabinet consistently each night.  I admit, he is correct in that statement.   I apologized and said I would make sure that I am more mindful of doing that each evening prior to my departure.  I did want to ask what should I do about the previous years' files that are sitting in banker boxes, (out in the open) to the left of my locked file cabinet, but I'm sure those don't need any additional security.

The Boss said he will be making a final decision on which security measures will be added to the building as well as the outside area in the next week.  You cannot fool me twice; I know from prior experience that a decision will not be made in the next week.  If I were a betting kind of guy, I would guess that nothing will ever happen with increased security and rest assured, my previous years files will remain unsecured next to my locked file cabinet.

Good day Nutties!

The Nuthouse Checklist for Today

Interesting things are happening at The Nuthouse these days!  Here are some important bullet points to be aware of to keep up-to-date.

• The dealership called today concerning the repairs on the company vehicle involved in the mishap last week (click here for complete story).  We needed a new wheel and tire, but the axle didn't break.  Next up, necessary body repairs for the front bumper and quarter panel. When The Boss messes something up, he doesn't go half way! The estimate the car will be back next week.
• The Boss informed me that the Fire Marshal will be returning for his second inspection on Thursday of this week.  As I mentioned yesterday, all requirements have been met and we should pass with flying colors.  The Boss also informed me that he "will not be around" on Thursday, so he asked if I would speak with/handle the Marshal.  He really seems to be intimidated by some people.  I told him it would not be a problem and I will help the Marshal anyway I can.
• Today a potential new employee came in for an interview.  It is my understanding that The Boss has actually met with him before.  His name is John and he might be our next draftsman/technical representative.  He seems nice, but a bit socially awkward - maybe he was just nervous...we'll see.  Around here the weirder you are, the more apt you are to be hired - so he should be officially hired soon.
• The Boss came in this morning clean shaven (click here for beard story).  When I saw the change, I commented on it (I know, I am a glutton for punishment) and he said that it was bothering him when he wore a mask, so it was time to go.  BTW - did I mention that Drew had shaved his beard at some point last week?  I'm not sure of the exact day because of my spotty attendance last week.  I did make sure to mention to Drew that his "stalker" was copying him again.  Needless to say, Drew told me to go "F" myself!
• It has been extremely warm lately and the grass has not really needed to be mowed as often (click here to see how The Boss mows the lawn).  The Boss has noticed that there are some dead spots in the lawn and has decided that now is the perfect time to plant some grass seed. Now, I am no horticulturist, but I do not think the middle of July is the optimal time to successfully grow grass from seed, but I could be wrong... 

Well, now that you are up-to-date, enjoy your evening and see you soon!

Company Car vs Ditch...Who Will Be Victorious?

Welcome to Monday Nutties; I hope you all had an enjoyable and relaxing weekend!  Today was going to be the first time I spent the entire day in the office in over a week.  It was nice to be back and get my mind off some of the things going on in my crazy life.

When I arrived this morning I saw that the chemical signage that the fire marshal told us was required had not only arrived, but had been attached to the outside of the building (click here to read about our visit with the fire marshal).  I also noticed some very small numbers underneath that chemical sign - our building number.  I guess we remain under "deep cover" - The Boss still doesn't want our company name outside, but he did post the building number as the marshal had requested.  We should now pass with flying colors once he returns for his re-check.

As I was catching up with my work, I heard The Boss on the phone with a car repair shop concerning a vehicle he had brought in for service.  I didn't think anything of it and the call slipped my mind until just after The Boss left to retrieve the mail from the post office box.  As soon as he crossed the outside threshold of the building, Drew said I had missed a hilarious story while I was gone. Everyone stopped what they were doing while Drew recounted the tale of The Company Car vs. The Rail Road Crossing.

It is my understanding that The Boss took the company vehicle somewhere on Thursday morning and during his return trip, had a bit of a mishap.  We have a railroad crossing not far from our building and depending upon which direction you are traveling; you may encounter it.  Well, when The Boss attempted to cross it on Thursday, it didn't go so well for the vehicle.  He said he wasn't sure what happened exactly, but the vehicle ended up going off the side of the railroad crossing and the front wheel fell off into a ditch.  It was sitting at such an angle that the front end was lower than the back end.  Drew added that he thought that speed and/or not paying attention were probably factors, but we will never know for sure.

Well, The Boss was unable to extract the company vehicle from the ditch and called the office looking for Drew to help him (of course he called Drew).  Drew then drove his truck to the scene of the crime and said after seeing the car with the damaged front end in the ditch, a flat tire and what looked to be a possible bent axle, there was really nothing he could do to help; they were going to have to call a tow truck.  Drew said that when the tow truck finally arrived the driver chuckled and asked what happened; The Boss quickly responded that a deer had run out in front of him.  Was it a deer or did he not know what happened?   I wonder how many times this "story" is going to change.

I guess I always imagined that any vehicle damage was going to occur on our bumpy, pot hole filled dirt road.  Wrong again Nutty Wone, wrong again - The Boss fooled found another avenue for damage!

Call Off the Search Party, I'm Still Here....

Rest assured; The Nuthouse has not gotten the best of me... yet! 

There have been some medical issues in my family lately and I have been out of the office more than in.  I didn't want you to think I had abandoned you or were keeping those wonderful Nuthouse stories all to myself.  If I don't share these insane stories, how will I remember them all when I am old and grey?

I apologize for my absence and will be back up and running again in no time.  Nuthouse stories do not slow down just because other things are going on in the world!

Until next week Nutties.  Be safe, have fun and wash those filthy paws!

Do You Know Why The Kitchen Sink Is Running Slow?

Allow me to take you back in time - to about a month ago when I was pouring the last few sips from a bottle of Coca Cola down the kitchen sink and noticed that the drain seemed to be running a bit slow.  I didn't see any debris or any other blockage in the sink to cause this issue, so I mentioned it to The Boss.  He indicated that he hadn't noticed the drain running slow, but would keep an eye on it. 

Fast forward a couple of weeks - others in the office have commented to me that they thought the drain was running slower than usual.  I told them I had informed The Boss, but I would mention it to him again.  Maybe I should save ourselves the pain of witnessing him attempt to pull the drain apart and just call a plumber myself - but what fun would that be?  I mentioned it again, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears.

Fast forward again to this morning, the morning after a long, holiday weekend.  The Boss arrived before anyone else and he had made the coffee (click here to read the coffee making process).  By 11 AM,  The Boss went in to get another cup and the pot was pretty much gone.  When he saw it was almost empty he took a quick poll wondering if he should make another pot (he asked everyone) and it was decided that another pot would be consumed by the end of the day.  This is where the reason for the slow running drain problem quickly became crystal clear.

I witnessed this with my own peepers.  He took the coffee pot apart and proceeded to dump the coffee grounds, not in the garbage like a normal person, but down the kitchen sink drain!  He then turned on the faucet and made sure every ground made in down that drain.  As I am watching him do this, I am flabbergasted at what I am seeing; who in their right mind dumps coffee grounds down the drain when the garbage can in right there?  No wonder the sink is running slow - the drain is chock full of coffee grounds.  Damn, the plumber is going to love this (if and when he ever calls one).

It was after watching this display that I mentioned the slow running drain once again to him - maybe this time he would listen and act accordingly.  As he is filling the carafe and standing at a distance to see if it has the perfect amount of water, I say, "hey, did you see how slowly that drain is running?"  When I tell you his response, you are going to think I am lying, but I swear I am not.  He said, " I did notice it this morning, but I cannot imagine what could be causing it."  He then said that maybe he would take it apart later this week and check it out.  Oh, goody...there is going to be a water show at The Nuthouse later in the week.  Tickets are on sale now!

Yup, as the meme for this post suggests - stupid does not realize stupid!

What A Week!

This is the PERFECT description of my week!  Somehow it always seems that the shorter weeks seem to last the longest. I have always felt this way and working in The Nuthouse has done nothing to change that belief.

I am happy to report that all employees followed the instructions The Boss posted next to the thermostat (click here for story) and refrained from touching and/or turning it off.  It was a comfortable 80 degrees when I arrived this morning.  The Boss seemed to be in better spirits, but I am sad to report that the cover for the thermostat remains on the floor in the corner of the office. I wonder how long it will remain there?  I will keep you updated on its status next week.

The Boss was out of the office for a large part of day and I think many companies may have started their long weekend a bit early because the office was quieter than usual....not that I am complaining.  We had pizza delivered and we enjoyed a long lunch.  It was nice to catch up and hear everyone's plans for the long weekend.  The Boss came back around 3 PM and told everyone to go home and enjoy their long weekend.  I hope he doesn't feel the need to call me tomorrow morning to remind me that we have the day off (click here for story).

Enjoy the long weekend Nutties!  Be safe and remember to check for poop before performing and vacuuming (click here for story)!  See you soon!

The Boss vs. The Office Thermostat

Stories are told about offices across the country where employees disagree about what the optimal temperature should be.  Some people are inherently cold and would like the office to be a bit warmer; then you have those individuals who think a meat locker should be a bit cooler.  Fortunately for us, we do not have that problem in our office; everyone seems to agree on the same ambient temperature. This is where our story begins....

We all know how a thermostat works - you set it to a desired temperature and in the case of summer, the air conditioner will run until that programmed temperature is achieved.  For some unknown reason, I'm not sure The Boss has totally grasped this simple concept.  Our area of the country has been hot and humid recently - welcome to July!  The Boss has programmed the thermostat in our office to be 80 degrees during working hours and during non-working hours (and weekends), the temperature rises to 90 degrees (he is trying to save $).  Up until recently, the air conditioner has not had to run very often, but now with the heat and humidity, it is a necessity.

The Boss was already in the office when I arrived this morning and I noticed he looked annoyed.  I also noticed as soon as I entered the door that it was hotter than hell in the office.  I said good morning, put my Coca-Cola in the fridge and asked what was going on with the air conditioning.  He said that he worked late last night and turned it off at around 6 PM and must have forgotten to turn it back on.  WTH???  I mentioned that I thought the temperature setting changed to 90 degrees beginning at 5 PM.  His response was one for the record books.  He said, at 6 PM it was still 82 degrees; he thought it wasn't working correctly, so he must have turned it off.  I commented that since it was 82 degrees, the air conditioner was working correctly for the evening setting.  Did he think the temperature shot up to 90 degrees at 5:01 PM?  He then said his famous line when he doesn't like what you are saying, "I don't need an editorial."  Yup, right there it was crystal clear - The Boss didn't know how a programmable thermostat worked!

Throughout the day, he would constantly come out of his office to check the office temperature.  He would then sigh loudly and return to this desk.  Now remember, the air had some catching up to do because it was off all night.  Each time he came out and saw it hadn't reached the programmed 80 degrees he would manually override the programmed info and hit the temperature down button.  He must have done this a dozen times!  He actually thought by lowering the temperature it was going to make the area cool off quicker!  Yup, I was shaking my head too.

By lunchtime, the air conditioner was still playing catch up and we had achieved a temperature of 83 degrees in the office (almost there!), but this latest information check just set The Boss off completely.  He actually had a temper tantrum in front of the thermostat; he stomped his feet and then ripped the cover completely off  the thermostat.  It flew across the room and bounced off the opposite wall.  Yup, that will definitely help the area cool down faster!   I'm beginning to think we may need a "time out" area in the office for certain individuals.

As the day drew to a close, the temperature finally reached the 80 degree mark.  As we were leaving for the day, The Boss came out of his office holding a piece of paper and some tape.  He walked over to the thermostat and began taping the piece of paper to the wall.  What did the paper say, you ask?

ATTENTION EMPLOYEES

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY
PLEASE DO NOT TURN OFF OR TOUCH THERMOSTAT!

THANK YOU
MGMT.

Now, that is RICH!  I laughed out loud, walked to my car and headed for home.  Is it Friday yet?