Thursday, January 30, 2020

No, It's Not the Coronavirus!!!

Good morning from what I believe may be my death bed!

I woke up late last night and felt like I had been run over by a bus and possibly two trains.  I got up, took some cold medication and then crawled back to bed hoping that this was all a bad dream.  When my alarm did go off this morning, I quickly realized that this was no dream....I was not only sick last night but feel even worse now.

I made myself some hot tea and knew I had to call The Boss and let him know that I had no chance of coming in the office today.  I knew this phone call was going to be almost as painful as my pounding head.  I put it off as long as I could and finally put on my "big boy" pants and made the call.

He answered on the third ring and I apologized for calling so early and told him I wasn't going to be able to make it in today.  He was very understanding and actually suggested that I take tomorrow off too.  He told me to rest up and asked if I needed anything.  I immediately had a pang of guilt, I have been thinking (and commenting) about how crazy this guy is and he ends up being very sympathetic to the fact that I feel like crap.  Maybe I should not be so harsh and narrow-minded.  Maybe he is just quirky and I have to learn that's the way he is and always will be.  Maybe I'm being too judgmental.

Well, my feelings of guilt evaporated as quickly as they appeared when he said the following:  "Do you think maybe you have the coronavirus?  Have you been around anyone from China recently?  Maybe you should go to the doctor, just to make sure.  I have a compromised immune system and should not be an around illness like that"

Yup, he is crazy and I don't feel badly for thinking or commenting about it!  I hope to be back soon - if I am lucky enough to survive, what The Boss now believes is, the coronavirus.

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

I Have a List of Names!

I arrived this morning and the moon, sun and stars must have aligned while I was sleeping, because sitting there on my chair was a list of names.  Now, if I am to be honest with you, I did not expect to receive the list today.  I hate to think I am becoming a pessimist,  I have started to get accustomed to not expecting materials in a timely manner.  I hate to say it, but The Boss just doesn't have the same sense of urgency that you would think the owner of a company would have.  That being said, I have the reservations here I come.  I wanted to thank The Boss for the information, but he was meeting with someone I hadn't seen before.

Back to the reservations - it looks like everyone will be going (The Boss, Rachel, Mike) and someone named Drew is also on the list.  Just as I am about to ask around to see who the heck "Drew" is, the door to The Boss' office opens and he introduces us to our newest salesperson....Drew!

At first glance, I notice that Drew is wearing work boots, jeans and a NASCAR jacket.  An odd choice for an interview outfit, but who am I to judge?  Who am I kidding - I LOVE to judge!  He seems friendly and has a loud, deep laugh.  At closer inspection, he is also carrying around a plastic cup.  As I wonder...why the hell is this guy carrying around a plastic cup, I quickly discover why.  He chews tobacco and spits some nasty looking brown sludge in the cup at regular intervals!  Now, I am not the queasy type, but for some reason, this visual gives me the heebie jeebies (I'm not sure if I'm spelling that correctly, but you know what I mean).

The Boss takes Drew to the sales area where Rachel and Mike currently sit and introduces them.  He tells Drew that this is where he will be sitting for now.  He also mentions that we are in the process of finding a new building that will give us more space.  Drew sits down in a chair.  This is the only piece of office furniture that is available, there is no desk and more importantly, no telephone that he can use.  How exactly is a person to succeed in a sales position without a working office telephone or desk.   A more important question rolling around in my head is where the hell is he going to put that plastic spit cup?   OMG, this is going to be soooo interesting.  I am going to bet you right now that we will move to a new facility before Drew is presented with a desk or phone.  Is anyone willing to take that bet?  Come on, I'll give odds!

Back to my only task for today - reservations.  I don't want to miss the opportunity to send these crazy people away for a few days next month (did I mention that I am looking forward to them being gone?).  The Boss has said that he would like everyone to fly out the afternoon of the 22nd and fly back February 29.  I have been tasked at finding the best and most economical flight and to reserve hotel rooms at the Westgate (the convention center is attached to this hotel).

This task would have been a walk in the park and a few clicks of a mouse if they had been made months ago (like a normal, non-nutty person would do).  Considering we are less than one month out, flights are not only expensive, but I cannot get everyone on the same one.   That is not too huge of a problem, at second thought, probably everyone should not fly together for safety reasons (see, I always find the bright spot), but the hotel is another story.  The Westgate has been booked for MONTHS!  Of course it has, it is the hotel that is connected to the convention center and where everyone wants to stay for easy access to the trade show.

So, no Westgate hotel for our employees!  Fortunately, Vegas is not lacking in hotels, but we have encountered another problem.  Since the Westgate is not available, The Boss wants to stay as close as he can to the convention center and the choices are not the greatest.  Everyone else has mentioned staying at a hotel on the strip and then taking the monorail to the convention center.  The Boss doesn't want to take the monorail, he wants to have the ability to walk from the hotel to the show.

All afternoon the conversation has centered around Vegas hotels; I just need them to decide where they are going to stay!  They can stay in a hostel for all I care, I just want them to be booked and scheduled to leave!  Finally after going back and forth, I was able to get everyone a room at the MGM Grand and they will take the monorail to and from the show.

Then the other shoe drops, The Boss has informed me not to make a reservation for him.  He is going to make his own reservations someplace closer so he can walk to the event each day.  He says he cannot be bothered to wait for the monorail each day.  Well, you don't have to tell me twice, it looks like my job here is done!  Bets on if The Boss books himself an actual room in time or if one of the salespeople will be stuck with him bunking with him.  I bet Rachel is giggling to herself right now because she knows she will not be getting stuck with him.

Monday, January 27, 2020

Important Things Accomplished Today!

Welcome to another Monday fellow nutties!  I am back for another fun-filled and infuriating week of work in the Nuthouse.  I had a great weekend and am happy to report, had no calls from The Boss  (thank goodness for small favors).

My Monday started off with hopefully the answer to the question on everyone's mind - who will be attending the major Vegas trade show February 25-28.  Well, I don't want to keep you in suspense any longer. (drum roll, please) The Boss still hasn't decided.  He is going to "deliberate for a while" and will let me know soon.  I cannot say I am surprised.  I probably would have choked on my chewing gum if he had provided the names of anyone (working here or not) as attendees.

As the day progressed and he continued to "deliberate" he did have time to write the following  important memo:

To:  To Whom it May Concern
From:  The Boss
Subject:  General Remarks

This may not apply to you.

Please let everyone know when you are leaving the building so your calls can be properly routed.  Sometimes people leave and everyone is unaware that they have.  Whomever answers the phone continues to buzz offices when there is no one there.  Customers are then left on hold while the search continues, etc. etc.

Since we will have new staff members joining us soon, it will become even more important that you let everyone know whether you are available or not.


(Cue sarcastic voice), I'm so glad the afternoon was used to convey this important information.  Rest assured, there is NOTHING going on that is currently more important than telling everyone where you are going so no one is looking for you. (enter eye roll now)

I do know one thing for darn sure - as it currently stands, NO ONE is going to be at the Vegas trade show!  Will that be changing anytime soon?  Tune in again tomorrow for the continuing saga of who will be on the plane to Vegas.

Friday, January 24, 2020

TGIF - Time To Let Loose!

Hello and welcome to FRIDAY!  I'm sure I am not the only one overjoyed to see this week come to an end and what a week it was.  Throw off your banana peel and lets get this recap out of the way so we can start our weekend!

As I predicted, the rest of my week has consisted of preparation for the trade show I told you about in my last post.  I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I inquired about what staff would be attending the show at least 25 times.  The Boss promises me that he will have an answer for me on Monday morning.  I told him that if he doesn't come up with some decisions soon, his staff would be flapping their arms to get there and then sleeping on the Las Vegas strip.  We will see when Monday comes around if I am making plane and hotel reservations  - I hope for the attendees sake he is able to decide.

I was able to get a partial list of materials that are going to be exhibited in our 10' x 20" space (The Boss actually wrote it down for me).  I have started working with the warehouse staff to get samples/materials made that hopefully will look perfect.   I was told by Adam, that Wayne (remember - no eyebrows), would be making the samples and I should talk to him directly.  This confused me since Wayne hasn't even been here as long as I have, and he is going to make the samples???  I shouldn't be surprised, as I have mentioned before, Adam has one speed - slow and he is not very conscientious about doing things in a neat and orderly way.   I don't think he wants the responsibility of making "perfect" samples for an exhibition.

Today, I spent some time in the warehouse with Wayne.  Just for the record, his eyebrows have started to come back in and he looks even stranger then when they were totally missing.  Do you realize how difficult it is to look someone in the eye who have burned off their eyebrows?  Trust me, I do not recommend it - it's disturbing!

Now, back to Wayne; first, let me say again that he seems to be a very nice guy, but he is still quite fidgety and jumpy.  When I started to discuss the items that we were going to need, he became a total "yes" man.  I would have been a bit more comfortable if he had asked some questions, but right now he is leading me to believe he knows exactly what I am talking about.  That's comforting because I don't totally know what I am talking about - thank goodness he is here!

As the meeting progressed, Wayne seemed to be relishing in what he felt was his newfound responsibility.  He was "sample man" and he had a very important job plus time was of the essence.  That's when the problems started.

He started to get a bit more fidgety, but also with a bit of swagger (as much swagger as a jumpy man with no eyebrows can be).  This combination turned out to be quite a dangerous mix.  Close your eyes and picture this ....He was trying to act "cool" and started to walk backward, when doing so, he bumped into a table, at the same time when he put his hand down to steady himself it landed directly on a hot branding iron..  Now, these branding irons have to be at least 300 degrees F.   As you can imagine, he let out quite a yelp and jumped away from the table.  This action brought an entire stack on empty cans crashing to the ground, creating quite a racket and mess, not to mention the skin was now peeling off of his palm.

The Boss heard the crash and came running out to see what had happened.  When he saw the mess and the injury, he just shook his head and went back to his office.  Alex drove Wayne to the insta-care clinic (they might need to give Wayne preferential parking there); he is going to be okay and will need to keep the wound clean and dry.  I think my next meeting with Wayne should be in an empty room, maybe with will both be safer that way.

While Wayne was gone I took it upon myself to order an extra large first aid kit for the office - if Wayne continues here, we are definitely going to need it.  I don't know if he will still be "sample man", only time will tell.

Have a great weekend and see you on Monday!

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

We Are Exhibiting At An Upcoming Trade Show

When I arrived today, The Boss was waiting for me.  It looked like he had been in the office for a while and at first glance he seemed a bit frazzled (more so than usual). He immediately begins by telling me about this huge trade show that occurs every year in Las Vegas.  He says that in past years, the company has only attended - but this year would be our first year as an actual exhibitor.  This is a big deal and illustrates that we are moving in the correct direction.

He talks about how large of an event this is/will be and how much this event will help not only increase the cache of the company, but help to bring in future sales.  I am a bit surprised that this is the first I am hearing about such an important event.  My mind immediately goes into overdrive - why have I never heard about this around the office?  What preparations have already occurred?  I haven't noticed any expenditures associated with this event, is anything set up?

I imagine this event must be happening in the late spring or early summer, which would help explain why this is the first mention of the event.  Suckers, did you forget where I work?  Let me remind you...the Nuthouse!  This event isn't in the spring or summer, it is being held in Las Vegas, Nevada, February 25-28 OF THIS YEAR!  That is approximately ONE MONTH from today on the other side of the country!

The Boss then says, "he may need a bit of help getting ready for this event".   Why do I think this is going to be the understatement of year?  So, I begin peppering him with easy questions, who is going - he hasn't decided yet.  What about plane and hotel reservations - those cannot be made until he decides who will be attending.  How big is the exhibit space - 10' x 20' (I was wrong, one thing is set up).  Do we have a list of what will be shipped and going in the exhibit space - he says he has some ideas, but nothing on paper yet.  My God, I'm going to stick a rusty nail in my eyeball, it would be less painful than this conversation (and bonus, I could leave to go to the emergency room)!

I feel my pulse begin to quicken and my eyes begin to roll.  Now, let me tell you a bit about me growing up.  My Mom has always said that since I was a child my emotions, especially that of disgust or exasperation, could not be hidden from the world around me.  She would say between the look on my face and my eyes rolling, my feelings were quite easy to decipher.  She would remark that my eyes began rolling at a very, very young age and became even more pronounced as I entered my teenage years.  Let me assure you, as an adult, I STILL roll my eyes and I honestly don't even realize I am doing it (yup, I have that shit down to a science).

I cannot believe that we are less than a month away from what is being described to me as the most important event of the year and NOTHING has been done to prepare for it!  Welcome to the tenth circle of Hell!  I think that I will be spending some quality time here for the next month.   If I am to believe the stories about Hell, at least it will be warm (see I always try and look on the bright side).

I quickly realize, as I hear the ticking clock in my head, that I am going to have to get some concrete answers from The Boss if I have even a chance of pulling this event off.  I then asked a couple of additional questions.  I honestly don't even remember what they were, I think I was still in shock from the earlier answers and wanted to silence the screams inside my head.  I was comforted to hear many of his responses to these questions were similar in nature to my earlier ones, "he has some ideas, but nothing concrete yet".  Has this man even decided he is attending?

Did I mention that sometimes I sometimes hate my life when I am here.  Maybe I should discuss this with someone.....I ask again, is insanity contagious?  This is going to be an interesting few weeks.

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

And, Poof...It Was Like It Never Happened!

Good Morning everyone!  I hope you enjoyed your three day weekend (if you were lucky enough to have one).  I was quite successful in fulfilling my important objectives for the weekend;  I caught up on some streaming, took a couple of naps and even watched the two NFL conference championship games.  Now for your sports update for today - it looks to be an interesting Super Bowl this year!

As you may have remembered from my Sunday morning post/rant; The Boss felt the need to "remind" me that we did not have to work on MLK day.  To convey this reminder he decided it was imperative to contact my out of state parents when he was unsuccessful in reaching me directly by phone at 6:30AM.

Now that we are all caught up, curtain opens to the current day.  When I arrived at the Nuthouse this morning, I was looking forward to comparing notes and stories with my fellow colleagues to see who received the earliest call.  If I were a betting man, I would have to say I had this easily won. He had to have phoned me first - it was 6:30 in the frickin' morning for god sake.  I also know he couldn't have phoned the parents of anyone else (extra points right there)!   I just had another thought; what actual time does this man get up on a Sunday morning?

Moving On. The Boss had not arrived, so I checked in with the guys in the warehouse and told them my tale of woe, they laughed and all said they never received any phone call from The Boss.  I found this difficult to believe and asked were they sure they didn't just miss the call?  Remember, The Boss never actually left a message for me, instead he decided he would call my parents (mental note: in case you were ever wondering, this is the always a better option then just leaving a message).

I checked with Rachel and Mike and asked if The Boss had woke them up on Sunday morning when he called.  They gave me the same look I had received from the warehouse staff and wondered what I was talking about.  I cannot believe it - they hadn't received a phone call either!  Why was I the only person he called?  Didn't anyone else need/deserve a reminder?  I know he heard me talking about my plans for the long weekend on Friday afternoon along with everyone else.. what the hell?

He finally arrived for the day and (wait for it) NEVER SAID A WORD about the shenanigans on Sunday morning!  It was like it never happened!  No...he had not phoned my parents, at what was 4:30AM their time, to inquire where their child was.  He had not called me at 6:30AM on a Sunday, as a friendly reminder that we were closed the following day.  Nope - it was like the events of Sunday morning didn't even occur!  I cannot make this lunacy up; this is the weirdest thing EVER!!!  I definitely am adding this to the discussion list for the next after work drink meeting.  Maybe someone there can explain it to me and help me understand.

BTW - Yes, I looked for my ICE paperwork and I cannot find the damn document anywhere!  I better put a reminder on my phone to contact my parents before the next three day weekend.  I will need to assure them that no matter what The Boss says when he calls, (most likely at the ass crack of dawn) I am not dead in a ditch someplace....I am just ignoring his reminder.

Until next time.... yup, I have no doubt something insane with happen here again soon!

Sunday, January 19, 2020

Reminders For Days Off Are NOT Required

When I became a full-time employee at the Nuthouse, holidays, vacation and sick days were discussed.  I was provided a list of holidays which seemed to mirror if financial institutions and mail delivery were closed, the office would be closed.  This seemed like a great benefit since many of the organizations I had temp'd for actually worked some of these days.

We were coming up on a three day weekend (thank you Martin Luther King, Jr.) and I was looking forward to sleeping in, catching up on some streaming and possibly even reading a good book.  Yup, my life is jam packed and I am a party animal!  It seemed like everything was falling into place, because it was going to be a very cold and snowy weekend.  This assured that I wouldn't look like too much of a loser just staying in my apartment the entire three days.  I wasn't the only one looking forward to this three day weekend - it was a hot topic in the office and everyone seemed like they needed a bit of a break.

One more piece of information before I fast forward to 6:30AM this (Sunday) morning.  When I agreed to stay on full time, I was asked to complete this short form which asked for my name, address, phone number and a number for in case of emergency.  This seemed totally normal and I presented the completed form to The Boss on my first official day.  Although I haven't revealed much about myself in this blog, I am single and do not really have a ICE (in case of emergency) person.  That being said, I thought my best (and only) option would be my parents.   I thought, why would they EVER need to be called?  What emergency would ever occur to me at the Nuthouse that would require their notification?  I'm sure they would never be bothered by anyone from here.  Well, I learned this morning, how wrong I was!

Fast forward to 6:30AM this morning (Sunday).  I did not hear my phone (located in the other room) ringing.  I must have been dreaming about all the things I was not going to get done on this long weekend.  Truth be told, I don't think I would have answered it anyway - who the hell would bother me at 6:30AM on a Sunday?  mmm....wonderful sleep....

It is now 6:45AM and I am awoken from my dream - if I remember correctly, I am playing volleyball on a beach in the Caribbean....gosh, dreams are wonderful!  Yes, that is my phone ringing from the other room.  I stumble out and as I pick it up I see it is my parents.  I am surprised and a bit concerned for such an early call and I answer it immediately.

I am unable to even get the entire word "hello" out of my mouth before my mother inundates me with questions.  "Where are you, are you okay, were you in an accident from the snowstorm, why didn't you pick up the phone for your boss"?  Wait a minute, what the hell is she talking about?  As I wipe the sleep out of my eyes and say all the right things to calm my mother down, I am able to get the whole, sorted story from her.

I can now see, I missed a call from The Boss at 6:30AM.  He didn't leave a message, but I can see the missed call.  He then must have then promptly PHONED MY EMERGENCY CONTACT - MY PARENTS!  He told them he had tried to call me, but I didn't answer and did they know where I was.  I maybe forgot to mention - my parents live in ANOTHER STATE and are two hours behind me (so, they received this call at 4:30AM in the freakin' morning).  Of course my parents didn't know where I was, but now they were worried and had to get in touch with me to make sure I wasn't dead in a ditch somewhere (my mothers favorite and most used expression of my demise).  After spending over half an hour on the phone, my mother now believes I am not only okay but alive!  She did ask if there was something weird with The Boss... was he on the spectrum?  Yes, coffee actually came out of my nose when she said that!

Oh, most importantly, I almost forgot the reason for the 6:30AM call from The Boss.  It was a reminder that the office was closed tomorrow! 

If you are off on Monday, enjoy your three day weekend!  My plan on Tuesday morning - taking back that ICE form from "The Boss"

Thursday, January 16, 2020

Drinks After Work Are Now Story Time...

I met some friends after work last night for a few drinks and to catch up.  We hadn't all been together in quite a while and our "meeting" was long overdue.  After catching up on how everyone survived the holidays, the topic predictably turned towards work.  Now, everyone was well aware of my inability to choose a full-time vocation.  It had become somewhat of a running joke that I change jobs like I change my underwear.  Which is why temporary work had suited me just fine (if you ask me, I think they were just jealous and sad that they do the same thing day in and day out)

In the past, this group of friends had enjoyed hearing about the organizations I had been placed with and some of the interesting people I had met along the way.  No one was aware of my latest placement or that I had recently accepted an actual full-time position there.  When I told them that I was no longer doing temporary work, they wondered, had I retired (I wish), was I going back to school (yeah, that had worked out well in the past) or had I met a "Sugar Mama" who was subsidizing all of my needs, wants and desires (now, that doesn't sound bad at all).  When I informed them that I had accepted a offer to stay at my last placement and was now a full-time working stiff, they found it hard to believe.  What wonderful organization had convinced me that working in the same place five days a week was better than my temporary gig, they asked.

I didn't tell them the name of the company, but I referred to it as the "Nuthouse" just like I do in this blog.  I then started to outline the "characters" that worked there and some of the interesting and unbelievable things that have occurred during my short tenure (I have not told them about the blog yet, I want to get a few more months under my belt before I let the "world" in on this insanity).  They immediately think I am making these stories up - this is understandable, if I wasn't personally living it, I would think it was made up also.  I have known these friends for YEARS; deep down they know I do not lie and they believe me (who the hell could make these stories up)?.

Our catch up "meeting" lasted well into the evening and way too many drinks were consumed.  There were many favorite stories; some of them had tears running down their cheeks when I told the story about Wayne and the missing eyebrows.  When we parted ways we already had a date for our next after work meeting (that never happens).  As we made our way to the front door and spilled out into the street, they said to "make sure I document the happenings at the Nuthouse so I don't forget anything for next time".  Little do they know - I am documenting (and blogging) as I go! 

Until next time....

Monday, January 13, 2020

Even Customer Entry Is a "Process"

After a much needed weekend away, I was really looking forward to coming back in and finishing up the work that I had started on Friday.  I now not only have a computer, but I convinced The Boss that we need an accounting program (who would have thought a company should have one of those).  I received and loaded the program on the computer Friday and began the arduous process of entering the client information.  Now, this process should have just been a simple one - enter the customer name, address, phone number, etc. and since it is January 2020 we could start fresh.  Did you forget where I work and my previous posts?  This is the Nuthouse sweetheart; it's never, ever that easy!

There is no customer list available to me.  I do not mean that there is not one I can have, borrow or steal; I mean there is not one CREATED!  My god, it is like re-inventing the wheel each and every time something needs to be done here!  So, Friday began my quest (yes, I was being brave)!  I went to the handy, dandy filing cabinet and pulled out the old (used), 9 x 12 envelope for January 2019 and began entering customers from previous sales.  Unfortunately, these sales orders do not include contact names or phone numbers, but I guess it would have been greedy for me to expect as much!

So, today I continued reminiscing though the sales for the year 2019 and entering the customers that purchased into our new accounting system.  My plan is to research and find phone numbers, contact names, etc. and add them in the very near future.  This will assure the new employees (especially any salespeople) that The Boss will be hiring in the near future will have a customer list available (novel idea...I know).

As I entered the information today, I couldn't help but laugh.  At least this place is entertaining and no matter how long I am here, I can honestly say that I will be leaving it in a better position than when I started.  I guess that makes me feel productive!

Until next time - I'll be here in accounting program entry hell!

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

The Proper Amount of Time to Effectively Warm Your Car During the Winter Months Differs By Individual

As I have complained, the East Coast has been exceptionally cold this winter.  Temperatures have remained “below normal”, according to meteorologists, for the past three weeks.  The offices are freezing in the morning and well into the afternoon.  My normal work uniform is gloves and a scarf which I wear inside on a regular basis.  Note to self, look into a space heater!

I never have had reason to mention that the organization has a company vehicle which is available to staff going to meet customers, etc.  Well, that all changes today!  The majority of its weekly use is by The Boss.  He takes it to get the mail everyday (we have to have a PO Box so no one, including the government, can find us) and sometimes takes it home.  Keep in mind, due to the extremely cold weather, prior to any departure, he must start his vehicle (or the company vehicle) to warm it up.  This practice yielded hilarious results which were conveyed to me today when I arrived.

It is my understanding that last evening, prior to closing the office for the day, The Boss did his normal routine of starting, in this case, his own car, to warm up.  When he ended up actually leaving the office, he jumped in the company vehicle thus leaving his personal car “warming up” in the parking lot.  When Adam arrived at 7:30 AM he noticed the boss’ car running in the parking lot and assumed he was getting an early start of the day and was already inside.  Then Adam went to open the door, he was confused because the building was locked up like Fort Knox.  Undaunted, he unlocked the door and walked into the dark office and warehouse….The Boss was nowhere to be found.  Approximately thirty minutes later, the warehouse door opens and in walks The Boss.  According to Adam he had a "pep in his step and was humming a song".

Adam said good morning and commented that The Boss was in early today.  The Boss looked at him as if he had just spoken in a foreign language and asked what he was talking about.  Adam explained that when he saw the car running in the parking lot, he assumed The Boss was already in and about to leave again.  Adam told me he wished he had taken a picture when The Boss put all the pieces in place and realizing he had left his car running ALL NIGHT in the parking lot!  He said it was the funniest thing he had seen in ages.  The Boss then ran outside and Adam assumes turned the car off before any of the other employees arrived.  When The Boss came back in - nothing was said and The Boss was no longer humming.

Monday, January 6, 2020

Today is the Day; Will I Be Joining the Nuthouse Permanently??

Today my self-imposed, one month extension was coming to an end and The Boss was right on top of it first thing this morning!  Had I come to a final decision?  Would I be staying on as a permanent employee (employed by the company and no longer collecting a paycheck from the temporary agency)?  He also is quick "talk up" the place and say that things here are on the upswing and are only getting better, bigger and more successful.  He also dangled that new offices were on the horizon - we would have our own building.  I haven't even sat at my wannabe desk yet and already my head is spinning!

I had put a great deal of thought into this decision during the holidays but now it is time to put up or shut up and the decision doesn't seem as easy as I originally thought (and I think I am starting to waver).  Let me let you in on my process ... I really thought I had decided to leave.  I felt a more structured, organized and well-managed place would be best for me at this point in my career.  I am sure that this "perfect" job exists out there and once I find it, I would know it's the one for me.

That being said, I think this crazy man has spiked my Kook-Aid.  I am listening to what he is saying/promising and I believe him (I know, right).  I really think he has great plans for this company and he seems to like me and appreciates my opinions.  Could I help this company grow and prosper?  Could I be getting in on the ground floor of something interesting and successful?  There isn't much structure or procedural bones set up here - maybe this place would be a good fit for me.

Although everyone here seems a bit nuts, who am I kidding,  I can be the same way at times.  I probably would fit right in with them in the long run.  I think I could have a lot of fun and laughs here.  The Boss seems generous (the compensation package we discussed for me to stay is more than generous and will allow for ample beach vacations). He also has indicated that I can do whatever I see fit to make the office aspect run better and more efficiently. He is open to new ideas!  Say what you want about this man, he my be nuts, but  he is clearly a damn good salesman - he is successfully selling me on the "Nuthouse"!!!

Well, I didn't listen to the little voice in my head when I first toured this facility, I guess I am going to ignore it now too!  Drum roll please .....I have accepted his offer and today ends my temporary position here.  Just call me Nutty Wone, the full-fledged nuthouse employee! 

Friday, January 3, 2020

Nothing Crazy Happened Today!

Today was a quiet day and it resembled a fairly normal office environment.  Everyone must be a bit worn out from the holiday and their “crazy” just isn’t coming to the surface like usual.  Here is a couple of things to keep you up to speed on the day- to- day.

1.  The Boss had lunch brought in for everyone to celebrate 2020.  As crazy has he may act sometimes, he seems to be genuinely nice and also generous with his employees.

2.  Wayne came back and still doesn't have any eyebrows (not that I thought they would be back yet).  He was able to remove the black, sooty haze from his eye glasses and The Boss has told him they need to discuss what occurred on the dock.

3.  Mike has informed me that he is "born again" and have I ever considered it (I told you he wanted me to join his "team").  I smiled and told him no, I was born right the first time!  (Now, I cannot take credit for this line - it is from a Dennis Miller stand up routine I saw one time and never forgot).  I cannot be sure, but I think I heard Rachel giggle when I said it.

4.  The Boss is still sporting the latest footwear of 2020 (the highly sought after, open toed sneaker) and he doesn't seem to be limping as much.  It must be exhausting to try and remember you are injured.

5.  The Boss mentioned that we might be moving to a new location very only question will be how do the bathrooms look.  Holding out and visiting the facilities for the entire day is becoming annoying!

Have a great weekend and I'll be here on Monday (with my straight jacket)!

Thursday, January 2, 2020

The Boss Is Back (and Injured)

The Boss returned from his trip "someplace near England" (but in all actuality, we know it was the Bahamas).   He looks rested and has a tan -  I didn't realize England was so sunny and warm this time of year!  He is not only sporting a darker skin tone, but I quickly notice a limp in his step upon arrival.  I quickly ask if he is okay and he ignores me and acts like he didn't hear question. 

I then notice something strange about his footwear choice for the day.  No, he not wearing winter boots. The foot choice of today is sneakers - one of which has the entire top portion cut off exposing his toes, back to the middle of his foot (just leaving the sole of the shoe).  Wrapped around his toes looks like an old washcloth that may have been located in his garage and used for oil changes.  It is dirty, definitely oily...just trust me, it's gross looking!  Now, just a bit about me - I don't like feet!  Feet, although they are necessary for balance and travel about this fine earth; should not been seen or exposed after the age of three!   Just put those nasty things away!  Moving on....

I laugh a bit to myself and ask once again if he was okay and what happened to his foot in England (lol).  I'm not quite sure what went on during this vacation, but I'm beginning to get concerned because the injury (along with the vacation location), is clearly considered top secret in his world.  This alone brings up so many questions to me!  He states "he just had a bit of an accident" and leaves it at that.

Although, he doesn't mention the injury, that does not mean it is not a major topic of the day!  He might not talk about it, but he is quite animated when walking around - as long as other people can see him or are near him.  If he is alone, or doesn't think anyone is looking, he is able to traverse any area like a mountain lion - smooth, stealthy and with no evidence of injury whatsoever. 

As the day continues, this injury/no injury becomes more and more obvious and quite entertaining for me to watch.  Also, as the day progresses, I honestly believe he "forgets" about the injury because he will be going along like a gazelle and then he must remember, "shit, I forgot my foot is supposed to be hurt" and the limp comes back even more pronounced.  I do see the other employees noticing the same strange actions that I am.  I wish we were friendlier (and knew each other better) because I sure would like to talk to them about it!

Final thought - I am beginning to think The Boss might like llama drama!

Final, final thought - Happy New Year to you and welcome to 2020!  I have a feeling that this year will be an interesting one if things continue to go in the same direction as 2019 ended.