Monday, October 26, 2020
The Boss Is Hurt and We Need The Pain Killers!
After the injury that occurred on Friday (click here for recap), I was totally prepared for today being painful, but honestly, I was unprepared how painful it was actually going to be. I was first to arrive this morning, to an empty parking lot and I immediately knew we were in trouble. The Boss is usually first to arrive in the office nine out of ten days. Since he wasn't in when I arrived, I knew his injury was going to be the main source of pain and discomfort for us all today.
By 8:30 AM all Nuthouse employees were present and accounted for - except for The Boss. He clearly planned his later arrival to make sure he had a "full house" when he arrived. Around 9:15 AM, the door crudely opened and in walked, or should I say, in hobbled The Boss. He was on crutches that looked like they were from 1920. He had a messenger bag around his neck and it hung in the front of his body. He also sported a back pack that was stuffed so full, it made him stoop forward at the waist. A pack mule on a trip down the Grand Canyon might not have as much gear strapped to him. He also had an ace bandage wrapped around his knee on the outside of his pants. I guess that was so no one would be able to forget about his injury. I had a feeling that he wasn't going to let anyone forget about this injury...
I got up to help take the messenger bag and backpack - they both were so heavy I wondered if they contained rocks! I made sure the path was clear to his office, figuring he would want to sit down immediately. I was correct about him wanting to sit down, but I was wrong about the location. He found a vacant chair in the front area of the office, so he could hold court for a while. His first comment was not to worry about him, he was going to be fine (Oh, god, this recovery was going to suck big moose c*ck). He continued, and reported that he has a strained MCL and a sprained ankle. He will need to take it easy for a while, but should heal just fine. Rachel asked a couple of questions, which he answered in great detail and then finally made his way to his office. We thought that would be the last sight of him for the rest of the day....we quickly discovered how wrong we were.
Now, a normal person would stay put for the day and only get up to use the facilities. As we have already established, The Boss is not a normal person. This idiot was getting up (or attempting to get up) what seemed to be every 15 minutes. First, he had to go the warehouse (he will not use the intercom), the kitchen, the bathroom, outside or just walk around his office. Each time he attempted to rise from his chair, we heard his pained cries, swearing and/or huffing. This spectacle continued all frickin' day, each and every time he moved! After I returned from lunch, I asked him if he wanted some chocolate pudding (this was a reference to a hilarious episode of The Office called The Injury - check it out if you haven't seen it). He didn't get the joke, but Drew did and let out a hearty laugh when he heard me ask. I know it sounds mean, but by that point I was just done with all of his theatrics.
He made his way to the door around 4 PM and said he would see us all tomorrow (god help us all). Clearly, I and the rest of my co-workers will all need chocolate "pain killer" pudding to help us survive the remainder of the week.
BTW - no contractor today to cut a door in the conference room....yup, big surprise (insert sarcasm).