Tuesday, February 4, 2020
Could The Nuthouse Be Rubbing Off On Me?
I'm beginning to think I have starting taking my job home with me. No, not real work related stuff - just the craziness that surrounds me each day in that place. Let me explain.
Scene Opens - dark apartment, man snoring softly, still feeling the effects of the NyQuil cocktail he consumed before bed, dog sleeping soundly at the foot of the bed. Everything seems perfect in the world.
Clock ticks to 4:56 AM ..beep...howl.....beep...howl.....beep...howl. As I quickly clear the cobwebs from my over the counter, drug induced coma, I realize that this is a harsh reminder that I did not change the batteries in my smoke detector a couple of months ago.
Damn you smoke detector, couldn't you have "reminded" me on a Saturday afternoon around 2ish? What is with this 5 AM crap! The dog continues to howl each time the shrill beeping occurs (which is approximately every five seconds) and I know I have to change this battery before he wakes EVERYONE in the neighborhood.
Oh, I forgot to tell you the most important part of the story. Yes wise ass, I have a replacement battery! I had intended on making the change a few months ago when I changed the clocks for daylight saving time (or the other one - whichever one we do when it is cold outside). See, the important fact I forgot to mention is that my ceilings are nine feet and I don't own a ladder. Stop laughing you sickos - so, this task has just added an extra layer of interesting.
As the dog continues to howl every five seconds, I begin to play what I affectionately call "Home Interior Jenga". This fun or all ages game involves dragging items across the apartment floor to the area of the detector and stacking them thus allowing me access to the nine foot ceiling. Now remember, I am still feeling some of the effects of my cold and the NyQuil I took last night, so this is going to be REALLY fun! I drag the kitchen table over and add the ottoman on top; with a bit of stretching (I really need to start doing yoga), I am able to access the panel, replace the depleted battery and make my world quiet again. I'm sure the neighbors are quite pleased with the canine alarm clock they had this morning. Nice to know I continue to make friends wherever I go!
Well, that really got the blood pumping this morning. I am up now; I might as well get an early start on the day. My real alarm is scheduled to go off in approximately one hour.
Good Morning World!